Who Is Right , Who's Wrong? Siblings Rivalry

May be I am born in a wrong generation but I am of the mindset that grown up children should never expect anything (financial help or physical help) from their parents if they are given education.

I also think that parents in this case didn't do any wrong. At the most, we can say they were bad planners and not anticipating that their business could suffer in the future but definitely not people who purposely differentiated between their older one and younger one. Their business was doing good during DD1 wedding, so they offered more. During DD2 wedding, their financial capacity has gone down significantly, so they are offering less but still they are offering some speaks a lot about their love towards their daughters.

In a way, I feel, people who have have more tend to exhibit selfish tendencies than people who grew up with lot less

 

She doesnt automatically have a right to half her parent's earned wealth - if her parents dont want to give.

But yes, it would have been in the best interest of the family that the wealth was equally divided between the daughters. Aferall, one of the greatest treasures parents can nurture is a strong bond of affection between siblings. This lack of planning on their part has broken this bond. A heavy price.

Sometimes the relationship between adult siblings gets very strained or toned down because of their spouses, but here the siblings themselves are shattering it.

Yeah ,maybe.
But she considers it right to burden her parents with debt to get her share of flesh , sorry gold. I very much doubt it.

Wrong generation?
More like wrong planet

 

Yes! Let daughters only demand and take from parents and be without any responsibility to give back in the need of the hour. Let girls use husband's family as excuse for it. And then let's wonder why sex ratio in India is so low.

What everyone seems to be forgetting is that parents are not doing this out of choice. We can do post mortem with should have and could haves. Should her parents have given her a choice between her BDS education and 30 extra sovereign of gold?

Parents should open their heart out to their girls and try to appeal to the goodness in them. Aren't relationships more precious than few grams of gold.

 

That can be done when parents are open to their children dating and choosing their own partners and then having a wedding that the children can afford.

Unfortunately, parents want their children to never date ( specially girls) ,marry a person of their choice ,their caste and fulfilling their checklist .

They also want to have a wedding that they want ,to show people ,to return the invitations of all the marriages that they have attended in their lives.
Indian marriages are rarely just about the marrying couple .

This is a case of parents of two daughter....hence the pain.

Very often parents spend a lot of the daughter and then expect the son's inlaws to do the same when it is the son's turn to get married.
Not always...but this is generally the norm.


So Indian parents will have to take some blame here.Can't always blame children if they are not given choices.

How many parents agree to having a court wedding ?
They will tell you they have to return to society what they have eaten at others weddings.

 

OP, sharing this clip only to add context to the discussion here. Hope you don't mind. A good friend of mine shared this when I mentioned about DD2 to her. Her point was times are changing. My jaw dropped looking at the demands for 50L for wedding alone with DJ night and helicopter landing too. One wanted her parents house as it had a shop and got good rent so she need not work. Nothing wrong in them expecting the best for their wedding but the mothers are seen pleading that they can't afford. There's one comparing herself with her lil brother who did BDS and the mother trying to be fair to both. My heart goes out to those moms trying to keep their DD's happy by managing expectations.

 

True.
Even some relatives would make fun saying they finished their daughters marriage with out any expense.

 

forget parents not many girls themselves will agree for.simple.marriages.

south Indian weddings nowadays have Sangeet though it is not.oart of culture. they want designer lehangas as they are in fashion,

everyone.loves free money and free show off.

most woman use excuse.of.husband and in laws for not.taking.up.responsibility

 

DD 1 - I have claimed all my rights with my parents by bringing 560 grams of gold, 10 kgs of silver, car, etc. Therefore, I have right to claim all my rights in my inlaws house.

DD 2 - That is precisely why I claim my rights now so that I can rule in my inlaws home.

DD 1 Inlaws - We have made a mistake of asking/ accepting so much of gifts. We would rather have our son think it is a privilege to take care of us at our old age.

DD 2 Inlaws - That is precisely why we are not demanding anything and incurring 50% of the cost. We would like our son to consider it as a privilege to take care of us.

Parents: ????