Who Is More Helpful To Others - You Or Your Spouse?

I am clearly the more helpful one between the two of us. He will be helpful if it is convenient to him and does not have to go out of the way. However, from my side i feel i need to do the best i can, especially when asked for help. He feels I am too timid to be able to be upfront and refuse. I beg to differ and I dont argue and continue to do the best i can in the circumstances. Even a question of accepting invites to functions/marriages etc, he will only accompany me if it is convenient to him. From myside, i feel it is it is my duty to respond positively when invited except when genuinely not able to attend. This was often a point of dispute earlier, but now -after 43 years of married life , I go ahead and inform of my intention and he could follow or not as deemed fit.

 

Thats a very effective article on loneliness and i feel , would do good for all to read.

 

It varies between me & spouse. Some times she is better than I & someother time i am better than her in lending a helping hand. When i try to be generous on my own then i must get prepared for her criticism. It is vice versa a while later. That seems to be love in magic. But luckily we check ecah other in a large measure that we do not end up lose much from our stock.

When help needed is x units i would release half of x in instalments but she would do it in one go which may easily exceed x units.
It reminds me of a joke:
When an ingrid lady with an infant over her shoulder begs for food at the entrance to their bungalow, the DIL looking in the direction where her Mil was said loudly , “ hey! There is no practice in this home to give alms or food to beggars. Please go to next house!” . When that poor lady was about to move, an enraged MIL came forward and calledback the poor lady and said to Mil , " in this house no one has right to say so". The poor woman was glad to here that and expected food. But then she heard the elder woman (MIL) saying, " I only have the right to say so. No food. No money. Go to next house".

 

My wife wins handsdown if there is a review who helps more. In fact, I built helping tendency only by watching her thoughts, words, and actions. She is full of love to help anyone who is in need. She treats everyone including strangers with respect giving credence only to the age group they belong. Whenever there is a major event/function at home, after all the guests partake lunch and leave, she always have lunch with those maids who helped for the event. Every time, a maid seeking help either for their own education or their childrens' education, she was the first one to help.