1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Who has more right in naming the baby? Parents or Grand Parents?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sowmya2709, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. smileAlways

    smileAlways Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,017
    Likes Received:
    172
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    I want to defer you here. I think most of our names at least who are in their 20s and 30s are given by our parents. Most of the names of our generation are something which our grand patents had no clue about. May be dads named us most against the wishes of moms, as moms did not have much voice back then. May be MILs don't want their DIL to have the privilege of naming their kids, something that they did not have in their time
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,010
    Likes Received:
    1,159
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    its not that we wanted some trendy and up todate names like ending with ish, or vin for boys or shini for girls.
    i wanted to name them a nice tamil names only. for my first son, we chose sakthivel, because we wanted to named him after lord murugan. but pils named him bharanidharan (called bharani). sil knows that we wanted to name our son sakthivel but she was so against us not to choose the name ourselves but let her parents to decide. when she gave birth 10 months later, she named her son sakthivel. and kept the name suspense for 30 days but had to reveal during the name ceremony. i was so pisssed and angry to know she had given the name that we wanted very badly.
    Murugan was pissed too so He gave us another boy quickly. for second boy we chose 2 names and asked pil to pick one, and second boy is name shasthitharan (called shasthi). to make Murugan happy.
    co-sis gave birth in april and named her son sritharan. they chose themselves after the havoc my pil made for their daughter's name.
    now all the boys in our family have similar name, ending with tharan. only sil's son name stand out, sil felt that and jokingly said will change her son's name to sakthitharan.

    but naming our children after pil name is too much, how if the fil name is kunjithapatam (ethir neechal)?
     
  3. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,010
    Likes Received:
    1,159
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    sowmya, can u discuss with ur dh and ask him to tell ur pil that both of u want to name ur child?
    after the unpleasant issues for my first son and bil's daughter names, (they were born 1 1/2 months gap)
    pil decided not to interefere in naming business again.
     
  4. Sowmya2709

    Sowmya2709 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,068
    Likes Received:
    695
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes Shanthana, Had a long discussion with my DH and finally he has accepted to name our baby as per our wish and will try to convince his parents when they make issue out of it. Hope he sticks to this decision till i name the baby. Fingers Crossed..
     
  5. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,380
    Likes Received:
    1,483
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    dear you take a strong stand. You need not explain too much too.... Start calling the child the name u want to call it. Grandparents have already had a chance to name their kids,if they used it good for them.....Baby's parents only hav the right to name kid...esp mother who took all the trouble from conception to delivery!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,879
    Likes Received:
    2,712
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Gender:
    Female
    I very strongly feel that parents only should name their child.
    Ever since I had conceived I would tell dh that we should choose a boy and girl name and I wanted a part of my Dad's name as a mark of respect for him( lost my dad few years back)
    Thankfully dh was also of same belief or may be he saw how strongly I felt for naming my baby that he did not interfere. In the end I kept a name with a combination of my dh and father's name.
    it should be the mom who gets to name the baby.
    Op, if you don't want to get into a argument with in-laws , can you keep first name as per your choice and middle name as mil or fil name. I have a friend who was called sukanya dhanalaxmi iyer. Dhanlaxmi was her grand ma's name.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,155
    Likes Received:
    1,461
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    The Mother of course!

    I had choose two names when I was pregnant itself, "Arjun" if it is a boy and " Akanksha or Akshara" if it is a girl and I loved the girls names which I got it from a novel it was two sisters characters, some how I had high hopes that the baby will be a girl and I even discussed these names with my hubby and he was very much okay with it.
    The actually climax started on the naming ceremony which was conducted on the 21st day in my parents home, Since I had already discussed the names with my husband and asked his choice between the two names and he preferred "Akanksha" so I was happy with it and even my parents and sisters liked it anyways they left the enter choice on me with out interfering, but the day my in laws arrived with my second SIL and her daughter who was just 6 years then.. my MIL was proudly announcing that her little grand daughter has decided the name for her cousin as " Sushmita" as she was very crazy of the actress who won Miss Universe around 3-4 years back and so we have decided on it... I was sooo... shocked while I am the mother and she has not consulted me a word but going with the decision of a little 6 year old.. I just stared angrily at my DH and he immediately said " No we have already registered as " Akanksha" in her birth certificate which actually he didn't .. but what ever in the end of the day we named her as per my wish.. and now my baby is beautiful 18 year old and loves her name.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    1,276
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    DH and I had planned 3 names for our baby and during the naming ceremony, my MIL (she was very mean to me that day-another story) started to say that baby has to have so-and-so name. I was really upset and my H too. We would have been OK if she had discussed this with us in advance instead of making an announcement in front of everyone.
    And not only that she insulted me multiple times in front of everyone. Me totally stunned and exhausted in my post-delivery and sleep-deprived state!

    Even if we scream out loud that parents and not grandparents have the right to name the baby, our society just does not accept it. Am really tired of all the crap that we have to take from "elders" who are not even nice and fair to us but just want us to listen to them blindly.
     
  9. Sowmya2709

    Sowmya2709 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,068
    Likes Received:
    695
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Does that mean all the boys in the family get FILs name and all girls get MILs name? Doesn't that create a lot of confusion with so many kids having same name?
     
    2 people like this.

Share This Page