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which language do kids speak...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by geet999, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. geet999

    geet999 New IL'ite

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    what did you notice on his..
    if a kid is born to a parents with mixed language...where each parents speaks competely
    different language,which one does the kid actually get to speak by default...
    just wanted to know your experience on that..
    i know, kids usually pickup the language that we speak, but in the above scenario,what will happen by default...just curious to know..
     
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Whats wrong in making them learn both the languages??? finally if the kids are born in US , English is the first language they have to speak to be able to communicate in school and outside home.

    So other kids learn only one more language apart from English. You guys have to teach your kids 2 languages apart from English.

    Why to make one spouse feel less important?? when kids grow up, let them decide which language they want to speak
     
  3. Guy

    Guy New IL'ite

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    I agree with Srividya on this. No harm in learning both the languages. Also, once the kid has picked up a language it is not that difficult to learn another.

    One thing i have heard in this matter is not to expose the child to multiple languages when he/she starts to speak/understand (early aga, around 18 months). a lot of friends who are settle outside india has minor issues due to this. the kid gets confused with the use of multiple langauges around him.
     
  4. lotusgirl

    lotusgirl Senior IL'ite

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    kids pick up languages very easily when they are small. The dominant language is the one that the kid is exposed to more. Not necessarily at home.
    Exposing the kids to more than 1 language even early in the developement stage is good contrary to beliefs, but the key in that case is consistency. My kid is exposed to our mother tongue at home, but at the stage when the language started developing my LO was going to the playschool. So my LO's primary language is the native language here and since usage of our mother tongue was only at home, it took a backseat initially. We realised our LO dreamnt in that language. But as LO has started growing up, command over all the languages grow and couple of trips to India meant LO's command over our mother tongue is pretty good too. LO switches easily between languages.
    I know lots of families here who have parents with different mother tongues and the advice here is OPOL - one parent one language. Each parent should stick to their language and be consistent and the kids will easily pick up both the lanuages. Again if they live in a place where 1 parents language is common, then that becomes the dominant language!
     
  5. Guy

    Guy New IL'ite

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    Oh !. That's quite diffrent from What i have heard from Friends. good to know youe experience.
     
  6. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yep this is true! Do not try to start introducing kids to all languages at once. Stick to the basic necessary i.e high demand one to get on with day to day like in your case ENGLISH because thats the language everyone speaks in US. Start with one language from the time he understands small words and then when he is familiar and understanding those english words, pick up the next language...introduce slowly.. dont try to introduce all 3 languages at once ...

    There are some kids who pick up things quickly, and there are some who dont talk or be silent because they are confused as to which language they have to respond to. There was a program aired on TV on this language / kids who speak words late.
     
  7. lotusgirl

    lotusgirl Senior IL'ite

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    i sort of differ here. Each kid is different. irrespective of 1 or many languages, the starting age to speak will differ. I was exposed to only 1 language, but i was a late talker by normal standards, but then my parents had trouble getting me to shut up. everybody has that even now i thnk :).
    My LO started a bit late too. i think more like 20 months. But a friends kid exposed to the same langauges started speaking much earlier. LO's tend to get confused when you mix up languages. LO mixes up English and my mothertongue because we speak both mixed up at home. But the native language here, thers no such problem majorly because its from a consistent source.
    Regarding teaching them the stronger language around them first, do that only if you are proficient in that language as a native! Else the kids pick up on the wrong pronounciations for a large part of their developing life! We try and avoid speaking the native language with LO cause we arent yet proficent in it, but we do have to use it now and then mainly because LO's dominat language is that one.

    the ages where they start to learn languages is the best suited for exposing them to all these and their vocabulary grows that much due to this! their ability to pick them is much more than we imagine it and yes there might be a couple of months delay to full fledged talking in some kids.. but multiple languages in no way is something that should not be done, but rather encouraged.
     
  8. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    When my LO was 15months old we were also in the same confusion. The pediatrician here in US advised that we stick to our mother tongue and since the kid will go to school so she will pick up English from there. Actually, he told that we do not introduce English at home at all. Doctor is an English guy.
    He asked us just to teach words like potty, sit, stand, come here , go there and some basic ones only which were hardly 20 in all. No full sentences please...............he said.
    We told this at school when she went to preschool. So, she was considered 0 in English and teachers would consider that.
    This worked out so well. Today she is 10yrs old and speaks perfect mother tongue and English. I am also slowly trying to teach her Hindi too. We did not put any effort in teaching English but like any other kid going to school she is good at it. Cannot make out the difference from other kids whose parents would speak only English for kids sake.
    In fact, I have seen she is so happy because while her US cousins cannot follow our language movies she enjoys them. She even tries to translate the jokes/comedy scenes to them but finds it hard to bring the humor in the scene as it is. Then she gives up and says 'OK just learn the language then you will understand, It is not difficult'.

    From my experience I think that kids getting confused with multiple languages introduced when young is false. Actually, they learn to adapt well later and will understand the culture better if they know the language. Their brains will clearly distinguish the difference. Nothing to worry on that aspect. I myself know 4 languages since I grew up outside my home state in India. English, Hindi, my mother tongue and the native language of that place. Reading,writing as well. So when I can learn 4 my dd can surely learn 2 is what my thinking was like!!
    I know some people telling at that time about this whole kids getting confused thing and telling me they will start speaking their native language when the kid turns so and so age. It did not work out at all in their case and their kids are my dd's age and finally parents....the whole family also settled to one language and that is ENGLISH!!

    So, let the flow of your mother tongue be a natural one. Don't think of starting at some age. Let that some age concept be for English since once they start going to school you will see that you will have not enough time with them to speak your mother tongue. Also, be consistent with what you establish as rules or habits. If you tell the kids that they need to respond to you in your mother tongue only then you better stick to it first. I have seen parents speaking hardly one sentence fully in their language. That is when the kids get confused. And also when they are young, don't switch to English when someone is around. You can do that once the kid is old enough to understand that since that someone doesn't understand our language so mommy is speaking to me in english so that person is not left out. This understanding will come once the kids is comfortable speaking your mother tongue to you. So, my 2 cents here is Please parents be consistent first.


    Adara
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2010
  9. advitha

    advitha Silver IL'ite

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    Me and my husband come from different parts of India and we speak different languages. I speak Tamil and my husband speaks hindi. We used to talk in our languages to our DD. Her ped told us to just use our native languages, since children are capable of learning more languages during their toddler transition. To the top of it she was going to a gujarthi daycare and she became good at it as well, plus there was always English from all those TV shows and pre-school.

    Initially she had a bit of hiccup but when she turned almost 3, she picked up all the languages jet fast. It wasn't that hard for her. Now she has mastered both of our languages and English (ofcourse forgot gujarathi). One of her friends parent is having hard time to teach their mother tongue now to their kid.

    Not to divert the topic, to answer your question geet. Kids do pickup the language that they are exposed to for a long time during the whole day. If you are the person to take care of him/her then he/she will master your MT than your husband's (if you both speak different language). In our case she learned both. Infact she speaks Tamil better than my husband's as I used to spend more time with her. She has a good native accent too. But now she has come upto speed in hindi as we have enrolled her in hindi classes at school. I feel its better for kids to know both parent's language so as to communicate with both sides relatives. We visit India every year and it becomes a mere compulsion for her to be able to speak both Tamil and Hindi so she can play freely with her cousins. Not to mention both sides grandparents are proud of her :)

    -Uma
     
  10. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    Uma, :wow.......................YES!!!.....WOW!! is the right word!!!


    In these days some parents do not speak their language to their kids .................all false complexes and lame excuses.
    Some stupid reasons like both of them working so no time to speak their language and so whole family ending up with English.........typical thing I have heard from my relatives here in US.

    Reading your post gives so much more confidence and gives a hope to young parents who are kind of confused on this whole issue :hatsoff



    Adara
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2010

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