Whether i should live or die?

If your in-laws has some many properties then at the end only there kids going to get unless they give it to society.
I am pretty sure when girl get married,if they have lot of properties they would have given atleast few if not anyhow she get after the parents.Why does your husband have to step in?
If this happened before marraige then it's a different case but if this happened after marriage then it's not acceptable.If you guys are well settled then you can think about some body else.

 

Mehar,

I never knew that you had so many hassles in your personal side.
Would like to have a talk with you anytime. Let me know your availability madam.

Don't worry Mehar. Things will go smooth quick. Take this small boy's words. you will be happy soon.

 

Dear Mehar---- -thank you for replying you are my daughters age if i had one and i always wanted daughters more than sons, because of their LOVE it is so real.
I just read about your "you" ----------in it you mentioned that you are the only daughter, and you just love you mother very much----------do you have a father? sorry for asking, since being their only daughter, you must have expressed your dying love for your Mom, which is natural-----but I think you expressed too much and the ILS are frightened that you will -----give them a lot of money like your husband id doing now is it true?, -------------I think there is lack of communication, of the right type between you two,----------even though he is loving as you described-------i think you should think before you speak, what should you tell, and what not, it all adds up.

I think they have bought a land for DD and he is paying the remaining amount, be patient, and stop showing your displeasure openly, he is getting irritated ,not being able to answer you on one side and parents on the other side like a tug a war, between you and them, ---ask more patiently making him feel that you care for him and his family first and after that only your mother this is a strategy that works out better,----------you can say why does the female only have to sacrifice why not the male---------it is not a fair world, be patient, each man is different, and has to be dealt with differently,-----------I dont think he will leave you penniless ,He will take up responsibilities as his child grows up, you continue going to work,-----------he has brains,and he loves you give him time and love he will open up.
I went through this same experience for 10 years before my hubby change but i had married into a a big family of 9 children , you are just 2 will sort out pray to Allah regularly ---------they will show you the way.

 

Dear Mehar---- -thank you for replying you are my daughters age if i had one and i always wanted daughters more than sons, because of their LOVE it is so real.
I just read about your "you" ----------in it you mentioned that you are the only daughter, and you just love you mother very much----------do you have a father? sorry for asking, since being their only daughter, you must have expressed your dying love for your Mom, which is natural-----but I think you expressed too much and the ILS are frightened that you will -----give them a lot of money like your husband id doing now is it true?, -------------I think there is lack of communication, of the right type between you two,----------even though he is loving as you described-------i think you should think before you speak, what should you tell, and what not, it all adds up.

I think they have bought a land for DD and he is paying the remaining amount, be patient, and stop showing your displeasure openly, he is getting irritated ,not being able to answer you on one side and parents on the other side like a tug a war, between you and them, ---ask more patiently making him feel that you care for him and his family first and after that only your mother this is a strategy that works out better,----------you can say why does the female only have to sacrifice why not the male---------it is not a fair world, be patient, each man is different, and has to be dealt with differently,-----------I dont think he will leave you penniless ,He will take up responsibilities as his child grows up, you continue going to work,-----------he has brains,and he loves you ,give him time and love he will open up.
I went through this same experience for 10 years before my hubby change but i had married to a big family of 9 children , you are just 2 will sort out pray to Allah regularly ---------they will show you the way.

 

May God bless you, i see you are a humble person a nice person who has been taken advantage of, that is how the world is, knowingly or otherwise, a nice person will get trapped in life like this. We marry for the sake of happiness, but rather we get problems, stress, tensions, worries.

The person who should support us that is our spouse becomes our predator. I have one advice to you, I see you saying once you go to India then your DH will come to know your worth and he will then repent, dont keep this expectation or dont keep this blind faith, the reason I am saying this is it might not even happen, and your heart will be more broken, there are of course chances he realises, but a person who cannot realise when you are there, what will he reaslise after you are gone? so there are chances he wont realise too isn't it? Not taking you out on weekends, not buying you anything, you giving all your salary to him shows exploitation and abuse, on emotional front, the reason I say abuse is because he is using you as money machine and not giving you anything in return.

You may go to India but dont expect such people to change easily, and remember if they try to change the other person wont know , whether they are really trying or manipulating to get the spouse back, in that case they may behave nicely for some time and again the same story may repeat unless circumstances change too. By then you would lose more time, lose more energy to fight. If he wants to reconcile after you go to India, then you have to be firm and strong and lay down some rules , involve your and his parents in middle as it was arranged marriage. They have to be responsible for your happiness, it does not matter if we are adults , because your DH parents are actively involved in the problems of money so they have to be responsible..

Regarding physical abuse, if he beats you again even when you never abuse him verbally or otherwise, just to show his power, then you have to call police, otherwise it wont stop, if you verbally abuse him and then he hits, you stop verbal abuse and his reaction will change too. That is how the cycle is in domestic problems.. Hope this helps

 

My dearmost mehar,

Feel like crying loud...
I dont know what to write here....
I guess we have already discussed about this...
Dont worry this days will pass soon...
you need to look up after amma and wazeem so dont utter suicide from your mouth...
I am praying to God to grant you happy life with amma,aslam and wazeem...Amen

 

My dear mehar,

I am n totall shock........after reading all this...........pl spend ur time with Wassim & for his sake dont even think of finishing ur life....think who will take care of Wassim if ur not there.............pl dear.........fight.....i know how bold ur & i dont see u n gmail also these days. wanted to talk to u..........v r there ru ............dont worry dear.........dont lose hopes..........v will surely pray for u..........take care Mehar & come to AA dont think AA s only for making fun & share joys its also to share ur sorrows. belive me u will feel relaxed....hope to see u soon n AA.bye

 

u have put it as a question....so let me answer u should live .....live to enjoy life..............live to see the world n a diff way which u didnt all theses days...live to attain ur goal...........live for wassim & mom..............live to see the beauty of the world................live to fight the evil..........live to prove urself.............so my dear mehar..........there shld be no question coming to ur mind again abt life........its only to live.....my hugs to u dear

 

Dear SweatHeart Mehar,
I feel sad reading all the posts.. But it not the time to cry.. Its a wake up call for you.. Standup be bold.. You are soo young MY GOD just 25 to think about dying.. Stop thinking about your husband.. Now think about you and your son, What you can do now to make it better. What happened in the past is happened. You can do nothing to change it.. But you definetly can change your future...

First change your salary account.. Create a new account dont give it to your hd.. Dont go to india.. This is not a movie where the lover would come running after you.. This reality and you should be ready to face it.. You have a job with good salary you can pay back your relatives.. But not your husbands dept let him take care of it.. Open a savings account put some amount monthly only for your satisfaction..

Being "happy" it is not all the time depend on hd.. I pray for you mehar.. Have a good life..