Where Do You Keep Your Jewellery?

You didn't do anything wrong sweetie,you did the right thing.
This is very similar to what happened when i first got married 15 yrs ago.Long story short,I was forced to give jewelry to MIL who does not believe in lockers.she kept it in my brother in law;s room under his study table drawer w/o his knowledge.well,one day a thief entered her home.luckily he ran away as they woke up.
all that jewelry was my late dad's years of hard work.
When I went back to India,I demanded my jewelry back.She would not give me.She acted as if it was hers.Then my other brother-in-law got involved and with his help I got my jewelry back.I kept it in locker with my name and key is with me.sure there were few explosions and bickering about it.
my dh was very aloof in the whole matter.looking back I know I made right decision to have it back.

imo,it is your jewelry and you don't need other safekeepers.your dh is simply trying to please his mom.
problem is ,once it is out of your hand and into ILs,you never can be sure you will see it again,depending on how their character is.
you can say its not about trust,its about comfortableness.

 

In my own locker under my name and DH name. Your DH has no right to tell you to give jelwerry to his mom. It is not his item it is yours. Chances are they were never going to give you that jewlerry, and now he is just making excuses for it. You should have been honest with him and said I will not give, if I do then my name needs to be on box and I have to have key. She could keep the jewels they gave you. Just curious why he would not let you bring them to US- I think you should be doubting your DH more as he is trying to control you so much so early in your marriage.

 

My jewelry is all with my parents, in their locker. I have just two or 3 pieces with me as I have no need for gold jewelry here and I prefer silver anyway. At this point I don't even remember what my parents gave me all those years ago! My SIL keeps her jewelry in her parents' locker. My parents and brother didn't even ask about it, it's a non-issue as long as it is in a safe place.
It is not wise to keep large quantities of jewels at home especially in India where thefts are common. It is weird that OP's husband is making such a fuss. The pressure is likely coming from the in-laws. Follow your instincts and keep your jewels with your parents.

 

Nope, you're good. Always trust your instincts.

I suspect you'll get the same punishment if you give your MIL the jewelry: You won't get it at any time in the future.

His "punishment" really isn't as bad as you fear. Living in the US, you won't have many occasions to wear heavy jewelry anyway.

Is he willing to transfer all his assets to your mom? Y,know, to show your mom he trusts her?

Seriously, MIL's insistence on gaining control of your jewelry at this stage is worrisome. She needs to earn your trust first before you hand over your valuables.

 

Op, Your hubby is giving lame excuse to not return your jewels . That was your in laws and husband's intention all along . I think all in laws feel entitled to DIL's jewels after marriage. Its a matter of control and not to mention wear and have jewels if they want to get something done for themselves. My MIL keeps asking me about my jewels all the time. I was firm after wedding during wedding and now. My jewels stay with me. Once, when I had to move repeatedly here I gave it to my mom but my mom made me keep a photo of all jewels and when I got it back made me check repeatedly from my dad and I .

My husband mentioned once to give it to MIL. I told him, I don't want to do it and that's that.

Bear in mind, giving in laws jewels is always a one way ticket. You may never see it again. Even if it is its with fights, meltdowns . Your hubby pressurizing you to give your jewels after wedding shows he has no concern for you or your jewels but only wants to please his mom . He wanted to do this by handing over your jewels and look like a hero.If it was his own jewels wud he have handed it over to a third person. Yes your MIL Is a third person until you are well settled in the family.

Word of advice, never give any jewels even if small pieces. Each one of them have value. Emotional and sentimental.Does your MIL have same value of them. Definitely no.Better be called a bad DIL by flat out refusing to give than give and then hear what you heard.

This is just the beginning. Next when you have kid, your parents gold , cash presents everything will be demanded. Flat out refuse and turn away. Don't come into emotional blackmail or anything.Be firm and you can hold on to jewels for your kids . Good Luck.

 

You do what you feel is right cutie.
I was the first one to get married and gave my jewelery to mil to keep(she asked).She would take out jewelery for me to wear for other marriages.I was forced to wear (not literally ...but there was not much option) what she took out from the locker.
My mil has lost large quantities of jewelery during her time so I really do not understand the logic of her keeping it safe (in a locker now)
I asked for my jewelery a few years back after I got my own locker .....with out much drama.

My co sister kept hers in her locker.
My sister keeps everything in my mom's locker.
My bhabhi keeps everything in her mom's locker.

I was the only one who gave it to mil .She mentioned once that co sister did not keep her jewelery with mil.Giving her the jewelery has not given me any advantage over co sister.So trusting her has no rewards...

These days most dils keep their stuff with themselves and sensible mils don't want the trouble of taking care of dil's jewelery.
Your husband is trying to be a hero in his mothers eyes by giving her your jewelery.
Start a locker of your own when you come to India .
Tell your husband it is your personal jewelery and he should not interfere in what you do with it.
Ask him if he would like it if you asked your mil to keep her jewelery with you.

Since you stay away from mil....just avoid these topics .
If the question of trust comes up....as you husband---do you not trust me? do you not trust my mom?

 

Dear @Cutie1991 , You didn't do anything wrong. Yes you did a small mistake there, why didn't took those minimum required jewellery also with you? why did you left those ones with your MIL? I know your DH is insisting on that, and just to make him happy you left the jewellery there, but you can always say that you would like to wear them on occassions & festivals, so you need them to be with you.

I kept my jewellery with my mom and the jewellery is safe in the locker. Basic required jewellery I brought with me, so that I can wear them once in a while for parties or functions. But my husband never gets involve in these matters, he is happy if i am happy.

I agree husband & wife need to take a collective decision about every thing, but few things should be left with individual's decision also. Major decisions like finance & properties can be a collective decision, but things like managing jewellery and other female related stuff can be left to wife.

 

This problem came when I was newly married too.
I did not want to leave the jewels with my MIL, as I could not trust her after some problems initially.
But I knew my H would not like/accept if I chose to keep my jewels at my mom's locker either.
So, I decided to open my own locker, and left everything there. I had fullest control over my jewels when I lived in abroad too.
They couldn't do much, as I did not bother them to open a locker for me.

Now, my bro is married. His wife's needs a locker to keep her stuff. Her parents do not have a locker in our country.
She was happy to keep everything at her house. But my mom insisted her to keep the jewels in my locker. She doesn't even have access to my locker.
Obviously she must have felt insecure and scared of leaving her jewels with me.
I too did not want to take the risk of taking care someone else's jewels.
But these old moms can never think correctly.

They think they are supporting their children. In fact they are putting us into trouble.

So, I asked my SIL to buy a medium sized petty cash (safe) box, and keep all her jewels in it. I instructed her to lock the box, keep the key with her. Now that, her jewel box is in my locker, but I don't have access to her jewelries.
I also ensure either my bro or SIL accompany me whenever they need jewels from my locker.

They can very well afford a locker. But mom has insanely made us suffer

In your case, I would advice you to open a locker when you are in India next time. Till them leave it as it is. Don't bring this topic with DH