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Where do I head to ?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by SANASEHAR, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. SANASEHAR

    SANASEHAR Silver IL'ite

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    Dears i want suggestion from you.

    the matter is that on 6th of January God blessed my actual elder brother with a beautiful daughter and i am really desperate to see her. i decided with my husband that i must go this Sunday. i started preparing gifts for the new angel. but today i came to know by my brother in law's wife and my co-sister(she lives in my neighborhood) that her newly wedded BHABI is coming to her home this sunday. we were not able to go at the wedding because of some mishap that my younger brother in law was not well. now as she is coming to her home first time after marriage so should i cancel my program of going to my brother's home, my mother is also waiting there for me.
    the main thing to be noticed is that she didnt invite me or my husband on sunday. on the other hand we dont have any close relationship with her family, the reason i have explained in my last posts. on the other hand we are not in a position to gift her something special.

    what should i do. should i go to my mother and brother or should i attend my co-sister's guests?

    one thing i tell you that my husband says that go to your mother. and leave here everything because here attending guests without invitation is not nice.

    please give suggestions.

    thanks
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    SANASEHAR,

    I would go with your husband option(visit brother and mom).Even if your co-sister invited later then just tell her you already have plans and visit them when you come back.If she didn't invite at all then don't worry.
     
  3. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    hi sanasehar,

    even i suggest you go to your mothers place, since that is already planned.

    And as ur DH said, your SIL has not invited you, then dont worry much on that.

    You can always invite them at your place later, for lunch or dinner.
     
  4. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Are you wondering wether to go to see your neice or be an uninvited guest in ' someone else's ' party ? What do you think makes sense ?

    The new bride is not even related to you straight.. She is your co-sister's brother's wife ! Uffff !! Why do you even bother to hang around with her when she is meeting her relatives ? It is " their " family gathering. Not yours.

    If you feel that obliged, you can always host a small lunch / dinner just for the newly married. Simple.

    Just go see the baby..
     
  5. SANASEHAR

    SANASEHAR Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot dears, I welcome your comments. i want to tell you that in our families no body can guess what is going to happen the next moment. Here moods change like days and nights. The situation to handle for me is difficult because I think I am a confused person. I saw my mother always bearing the unjust behavior of her family and in-laws. These things always make me sad. The same situation is going on here with me. She didn’t invite me, is true but when we will invite her on any occasion she will not come on the basis of this issue, as they used to do in the past.

    Well dear, I want to say that as the forum is for us to share problems and get suggestions regarding any matter. Therefore, I was confused so I asked. I got good response, thank you so much.

    I’m sorry if you did mind anything.

    Thank you so much
     
  6. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Every other family in this world is like what you said. :) Nothing can be predicted and no one too !

    Then , just say we missed you after the program and move on. Invite the rest of the world. When people simply dont show any manners, you need to feel sorry for them and leave it. Do not ask why she didnt come, if at all she does volunteer to say it, reply- Oh, that time i thought it was your party to the newly wed and didnt come. Dont bother about what she has to say. Invite her again to the next party, if she chooses not to come, it is her loss ! Say, we missed you again. ;)
    Eventually, they wouldnt want to be missed sooo much !!
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2010
  7. sophisticated

    sophisticated New IL'ite

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    I think you should go and see you Neice as your hubby supports it as well.
    If and when invited to you SIL house say you are going to see your neice as it was already planned and will try and come latter if possible and not to bear any grudges if you cann't make it.
    Ask your Hubby to tell his brother.
     
  8. SANASEHAR

    SANASEHAR Silver IL'ite

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    thank you

    thank you dears

    you have directed me towards a new direction now i can take any step without any hesitation. and i am sure when ever i will get confused you people will help me.

    again thank you so much
     

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