Where did love disappear?

Priya16 · Jul 7, 2011

Old thread

Dhaanika · Jul 8, 2011

Old thread people. Let's not revive them if the OP has stopped responding on the thread. Thanks!

seagreen · Apr 5, 2013

I believe love never ends, it just grows and transforms.

I share the same love story with your friend, dated for 2.5 yrs married for more than 4 now, with a 8 month old baby. My hubby doesn't praise me all the time, be at my beck n call but to be honest neither do I. We have evolved as partners, and the way we love each other has changed. We understand each other much better now and can pretty much guess what is going on in each other's head.

There hardly may be any PDA but our love has still grown. I don't know how to explain it, but I guess it's normal. Till the time u respect. Person, give them space there is no harm having a lil argument here n there.

After all, if both the partners think the same, one of them is unnecessary

Awar · Apr 9, 2013

If they ever existed they would continue to exist but it's just that it may go under the shelf and needs constant discovering.

Decentguy · Apr 9, 2013

ankita_chitnis said: ↑

Its strange..but happens in every marriage.

A friend of mine got married 4 years ago. Her's was a love marriage. Myself and my friend worked together in the same office for 5 years and hence I am privy to how their relationaship evolved.

Her husband now - and her lover at that time - was madly in love with her. He used to treat her like a queen, never once disagreeing with her or hurting her feelings, even in a minor way. Whatever my friend said, was accepted without questions. He was available for her beck and call. His world and his schedules revolved around her. He even opposed his family to marry her. Impressed by him, my friend finally agreed to marry him.

4 years after marriage, as I see them today, I am stunned by the stark differences in their relationship. He is aloof, never wanting to spend time with her. He often gets irritated at her and wants to have things his way. Silently, each of them have come to a judgement about the other and resigned to the fact that life is just going to be this way.

My friend is an extremely beautiful lady. Even today, there are tons of men who would die to befriend her. But her husband is not physically or emotionally interested in her. Puzzling!

Thinking about them, I was asking myself, "What happened? Where did all that love disappear?. Why married life never fulfills the dreams of courtship? Why is married life always a disappointment?"

This happens in every marriage. But we all marry with the hope that somehow we will beat the odds?

Ankita C
Click to expand...

Hi Ankita

check this thread too http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/213214-why-married-life-becomes-loveless.html

Same story I would say with little difference. I think it happens in most of the marriages. The couple involved needs to do something to keep that spark going. Others are not going to do that

MaliniHari · Dec 18, 2013

True friend, love would not be the same after wedding. It reminds me of my grandparents who had lived a 70 year married life. What we and our family learnt from them was

1. Do not try to impress your partner
2. Be true, she or he would love you with your imperfections.
3. Try to sort things
4. Above all, no comparisons.

I did find that romance in them, when my grandpa and grandma goes for a walk.He holds her hand and bring her to the other side so that he walks on the road side and she besides him.She tastes food with a spoon to make sure his coffee is fine. Never have I seen them passing romantic dialogues. They were like tom and jerry. They cant live with each other, and they cannot live without each other.

Please ask them to find time for them. I am sure he still loves her. Love never fades. Ask them to have some time only for themselves. Suggest a vacation, wherein they think of only themselves. It is good to revive the romance in them. It's just four years! And I am sure it would not be a hatred.

NajlaM · Dec 19, 2013

I know this is an old thread but this story reminded me of a similar story happening to my friend right now..
He married his college sweet heart who was his junior. They loved each other so much. Both parents were against it but they stood firm to be together..
and finally got married..
But now after three years, the roles have reversed.. that is they are fighting with each other all the time and thinking of divorce while both set of parents are trying their best to keep them together..

I feel so sad when I think of them...hope they will love each other again like before...i really dont want to see them divorced..