where are friendly neighbours ?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by kiranmadhu, Jan 15, 2010.

  1. skalluri

    skalluri Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Kiran,

    I thought that kind of 'touch me not' lifestyle is only in western countries, so sad to hear that people in metro cities of India are also like this. I grew up in hyderabad a metropolitan city, but never had this kind of lifestyle, had good neighbours, good friends in school/college and also near house, neighbours used to be helpful to some extent and concerned for us.

    I think days are changed, life became more stressful , everybody struggling for their survival, for their livelihood, women give more importance to work for better future , In earlier days there is a balance, man used to earn for family and woman used to run the house as a housewife, thus there is good time for kids also from mother and there is balance at home. but now everybody is struggling at their best for better future, we are all in that loop and forgetting to live in present moment. that is making us away from each other and no matter even if it is immediate family like siblings, cousins etc. so , friends became secondary.

    I think this is one reason for people not maintaining relations.

    Sujatha.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2010
  2. HappyGal

    HappyGal Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Kiran,

    Happiness is a state of mind. One can be lonely even when there is a room full of people. I do agree with you that as we grow into adults it gets harder to make friends but its definitely not impossible. It just takes more effort than when you were a child. Try taking some hobby classes so that you meet likeminded people or you can invite your child's close friend's family home for dinner & see if you can make friends with that mother. Since your children are friends you have something common right there. If you live in an apartment complex try to get together all the stay at home moms for a weekly tea. You can take the first step & initiate these things & you will be surprised how so many people are interested in participating.

    Though you don't know the local language, you are good in english which is the universal language so you have no need to worry. Wherever we live a little effort from us can make it enjoyable. Live your life to the fullest & enjoy it. Please don't be sad as you always have us, the IL friends to count on:thumbsup.

    HG
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2010
  3. kiranmadhu

    kiranmadhu Senior IL'ite

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    True Sujatha. We are all in a rat race. But when we look back at ourselves later in life, we would find many things meaningless. We are all struggling to build a better future, but we all seem to forget being friendly and helpful in this struggle.
     
  4. kiranmadhu

    kiranmadhu Senior IL'ite

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    Happy Gal,
    I do meet the mothers most evenings while taking my DD out to play. Weekly tea seems like a good idea. I could give it a try.
    Yes, i do have my IL friends all time. :)
     
  5. skalluri

    skalluri Gold IL'ite

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    Very true Kiran.. you said the POINT. I agree to it 100%. People are forgetting to be helpful to each other in this struggle. may be it is also because of inability to handle many things and thus tend to be more selfish and also may be becuase some people are selfish by nature.

    Sujatha.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2010
  6. srvaug

    srvaug Senior IL'ite

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    Agreed with all of the above posts.
    But what I find amazing is people who talk about beig lonely etc., (not all of them :thumbsup) are not making an effort. May be its the fear of rejection or some other reason.
     
  7. kiranmadhu

    kiranmadhu Senior IL'ite

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    Srvaug,
    In some cases, i have seen people having a little complex about communication skills.
    I am not sure about US, but here in indian cities i see that in most families where both the parents work, grand parent/s stay with them. Those working parents don't have the time. In case where the mother is a stay-at-home mom, she has either her siblings or parents staying in the same city. If not, they tend to mingle with others who speak the same regional language. I wonder what they do sitting inside the house till evening :spin.
    I cook, clean, drop, pickup the child, do everything on my own. I don't have a maid. Still i get time. I have heard mothers who aren't working and who have maids to clean say they are busy through out the day.
     
  8. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    yeah even i too see this. We stay in apartments and no on even knows who the neighbor is. Even there are no common activities on festivals :(....
     
  9. skalluri

    skalluri Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Saipavani,

    YOu are telling about neighbours in India? I am surprised to hear that. I thought it is only in western countries. dont the people in apartments know each other and maintain the curtosy relationship?


    Kiran,

    Again you read my mind and told what I think. Even I heard from stay-at-home moms that they are busy and not getting time, it is all time management and discipline and if they want to mingle with others , they will take out time automatically.

    Sujatha.
     
  10. skalluri

    skalluri Gold IL'ite

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    Saritha,

    This may not be happen in India as they are there is not culture barrier or language barrier. I mean there is less probability there. but this complex comes in western coutries due to many factors. the difference in lifestyle, day to day we encounter people from different cultures and with no social life, I also saw Indians living here who can live happily with no complaints just being themselves, it doesn't matter for them if they dont have personal touch with fellow Indians. You are right, our attitude also matters.

    Sujatha.
     

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