I wanna recheck how my life changed after my marriage. I was born in a middle class Indian family with moderate values. All through my life I have seen my widowed mother struggling hard to give us two girls a good life.What she never had. We were always told about the importance of education and good character. My marriage was an arranged one. I talked to these guy on phone.Actually it was my second telephone interview.So I was very cautious about what to say and don't. Just before calling this person I told my mom, ''I'm not gonna marry him anyway, so for the sake of it I will do".He was not the chocolate hero with perfect nose and looks. Added to this he had a villain look. I can call it the chemistry. The first chat ignited the passion. I couldn't say a word but listen to him.We waited eagerly for each others call. I can say the most heavenly moments in my life.I was literally living in heaven. Meanwhile I was doing my postgraduate studies and he was working. So without seeing each other we talked for weeks. I wish if I had recorded all those chats. It was a time when we felt the whole night is not enough to talk on phone. After all these he came to see me formally at my home. Now the elders give you the pri village to talk to the would be groom and decide about your life with this half an hour discussion. I was lucky in this case. We had both made up our mind before. I was lucky to spend some more days with him before our marriage in the name of my job. The beautiful days...It was hard to control our feelings. But we never broke the limits. But when ever we met we were fully charged up. It only strengthened our trust for each other. But gradually I realized that He was much more mature than me. Or in my language was rigid in many ways. I cant find a better man in my life,But I had to make changes in my ways and thinking. I tried to be like a matured(??? ) woman. Just like any other girl I had lot of expectations about my marriage. But I was caught with some unknown fear. I dont know what exactly. I felt like going through a dark tunnel..With my mother and sister on the far end. I cant see where I am heading to. I have held someones hand.But was not sure who he is. He was very closely attached to his mother. But had a very strange relationship with his father. I wonder how he can be so nice to his mom and so rude to his father and so sweet to me at the same time. This guy had some issues with his parents.Most probably an abusive childhood or something. But since I was brought u under a single parent I was not so knowledgeable about the family thing. ANyway I was happy to get a new family. I understood my MIL had total control of the house. My H was mum in front of her. In the first few days after marriage she used to engage me with the unnecessary relative visits with her. The time when I really felt like being with my man. On the other hand my husband was trying to keep a cool head, to convince somebody that nothing has happened in his life. On the so called First night, I waited for him in the room. The jasmine flowers and sexy lingeries are only for movies.In reality its just like another nights sleep preparation. My husband was watching TV. After making sure that everybody is gone to sleep he came to our room. Scared of whom????? He was a darling. Couldn't find anything bad in him. We enjoyed good time together. Somehow returned to his workplace. From the beginning itself my MI made it mandatory that I should call her daily. Listen to whatever she say and have to give a detail report of everything except sex. Sometimes I wondered """Where 'm I"" How can you change like this,,,Where is the real me gone..It took very few months to take away my confidence and happy nature. The constant phone calls,complaints and useless efforts to convince the new family..Too much energy. I had to prove my self of everything..Forget about the identity.My MIL was a housewife. She had a lot of issues which added to her complexes. Moreover a lot of possessiveness about her son. I never wanted to interfere in their mother son relationship. I remember, when they talk I tried to keep myself indulge in some other work. I always tried to prevent her from seeing me as a competitor. No use. ... I had no particular opinion about having kids. One drawback of growing up too obedient to elders. Some trouble in decision making. There was constant pressure from both sides.No to say about MIL. I was a little bit bothered about my career. But I always loved kids.Especially cute little baby's. I felt it very true that any marriage will take a new phase after the first kid. I cant even relate to our earlier life. We are both bond through our child.Where is that strong passion and hunger gone. New responsibilities. Its better not to say about the pregnancy time. According to our custom I stayed in my own home in the native. After long time with my mother. The MIL phone calls still haunted.I controlled myself from saying anything back.That was my only tactic to prove that I was not guilty of anything. At a point I was intelligent enough to believe that I did nothing wrong.She is doing all this just because it has become a habit for her. My mom wondered about my transformation.She tried to regain my lost confidence and happiness. You should remember...it all happening at the time of pregnancy. When I was 3 months the MIL had created such a turbulence that I became suicidal enough to jump out of the car. Can't believe it was me. How could I ever think of something like that...She messed up everything... Our marriage to..All my husband wanted was to be an obedient bahu" just like him. With gods grace we got a baby boy..That also after a BP hike and some complication.During the delivery the baby's heart beat reduced to min. I cant forget the agony on the doctors face. AS my mom also was a doctor she was standing next to her. My moms timely words and motivation made things get moving.Evrybody got into action and I was n deep prayers..First time in life...I 'm asking for a real cause...Save my child Oh God....All these pain just for my baby...I understood the real meaning of a Picture of 'Mary with Jesus in her hand"... The next day itself MIL called me saying...Anyway you got a baby with out any problem..So lets forget the past and be normal....Who spilled everything...Tell me .Why should I forgive her..I can never be the same with my husband again..Not with any issues between ourself but with all the unnecessary disturbances from her part. I am trying to mend up everything with my hubby.Deep from my heart. Just with one final solution .I have stopped attending any calls from MIL..And stopped calling her. But I have made it clear to my hubby that I have no issues with her.This is necessary to be myself... One request to the bahus''' BE yourself...ITs nowhere written that MArriage means YOu should change.. and to the MIL s \\ !st impression is t best..So if you don't spill the hot milk you can drink it when its cold..I mean live happily with your son and his kids..and of course YOUR DAUGHTER..