1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

When Should We Speak Up?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by gg25, Jun 23, 2016.

  1. inboxsweetee

    inboxsweetee Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    328
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    @gg25 Voice Out all the time just that make sure to think before talk . Also , Never expect response as per your views :)
     
  2. gg25

    gg25 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Main bhi wahi poochhoo...bus ghar me hi rakhna tha bete ko
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.
  3. magician

    magician Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    244
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    ghar me rakha tho, duniya kya kahegi.

    Speak now or forever hold your peace.
     
  4. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,017
    Likes Received:
    924
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Only to get grandsons!!
     
    sindmani, sslkgpaa and KashmirFlower like this.
  5. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,017
    Likes Received:
    924
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    It all depends on your in-laws if you should speak at all. Even without speaking a word and smiling all the time, doing what is right, if your MIL is never happy, there is a chance that she never wants things to work out. If her plan is to create tension and there is no genuine issues from your side, then I would suggest that you dont open your mouth. This would only give them more reasons to complain to your husband. If your husband has not stood by you when you were silent/adjusting, most likely he will surely go against you if you also start talking back. If its not your nature or your culture, dont even think because you will not be able to forgive yourself for talking rudely.But if you think they are atleast 1% reasonable , then go ahead and speak up calmly and maybe you can have a better relationship with your inlaws.
    If you feel that she is creating problems rather than addressing real issues it is better to accept that she is only there to test your husbands loyalty and to reassure herself of her control and position in her son's life. By you answering back and she crying to your husband and creating drama will make you look bad in your husbands eyes , which could be what she wanted anyway. Not all mils want this, but I know there are few who are selfish and can create havoc in their kids marriages just so that the kids will return to them.
     
  6. vanithaudt

    vanithaudt Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    135
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    I too have the same moral dilemma. I too keep things to myself because there is no one to back me up. When I start a battle with less power then I give others the chance to bully me and they gang up on me. So we need to play it safe. Keep calm until you get your time. But stay on the rightious side never buy in for jealously, anger and ego or any other negative emotion. Most of the times FIL likes us and treat us well. Slowly build up the trust with him.
     
  7. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    428
    Likes Received:
    679
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Agree with you @Lxcxxz . My MIL has a nasty habit of showing us off (both me and Co-sis) to her relatives, especially when her younger sis got a new DIL. But when she is not with her relatives, and with others like friends or co-sis family, she will get super nasty about us- Irony is that she choose both DILs. Now me and co-sis are not good enough for her boys. Once when I was shopping with her and then-to-be co-sis along with her parents, she mentioned that I looked too fat in my wedding saree in my marriage and gave a dirty smirk. Co-sis and her parents got shocked by her insane comments especially in front of their relatives. And that time I made sure that she got the answer right back in front of everyone. Now she has to think atleast 2ce before insulting me in front of others. That day she lost the respect in the eyes of my younger co-sis and her folks. It was the clue to younger co-sis to either run away from this woman or be stronger and braver if she decides to stay with her. She choose to stay but she never took BS from this woman from day one.
     
    sindmani likes this.

Share This Page