When Patience Is Tested And Respect Is Bound To Be Lost - Aplogies For The Major Rant

Hello ladies,
Thanks for the "ignore" tip.
@Rihana Monday did bring things near to normal.

MIL is now talking, though not much to me, but to DH and kids at least. She is still avoiding me but I can see that she is just doing it out of her stubborn nature and sometimes forgets that she is not talking to me ! This morning, she spoke to me about DD's lunch box and weather and a few other things and went on to be quiet for a long time after that.
Reminds me of how i used to forget that am angry with my mom (when mom was alive) and go on talking to her. When mom used to smile that when I would realize that am angry with her but forgot about it.

We'll get there.

 

This week I am required to start work late and finish late - that's my shift to be precise.
This means MIL and I are the ones at home after DH and kids leave. With the silent treatment on, it was not very comfortable for me to spend time alone with my MIL. I started from home an hour earlier than necessary and had a coffee time with DH near his workplace on the way and reached work say 15 mins early. It worked for 2 days. DS fell ill. So I spent time with him as much as I can and opted to take a day off but MIL said she would be taking care of the kiddo and asked me to go to work. I must say it was a major help. She did not have to take that up. She still chose to. I thanked her and went to work yesterday.
This morning after everyone left she asked me why did I not ask her what was the reason for the silent treatment.
I said, "Mom, I know you were upset because I scolded DD. I know you love her to the moon and back but mom I love her too just like how you love your son, I love my kids and if I scolded her it was because I don't want her to fall sick. She tends to get cold and fever every time she dumps loads of oil on head. Washing her hair is not a great difficulty for me. DD understood that and she was okay after 10mins and went an extra mile to impress me , remember how she cleaned the rooms? Also I thought you may have something else in mind about which you were quiet. I did not want to intrude so chose to give you the space. You know you can talk to me or your son anytime about anything that you think we can help you with or if you need someone to just hear your thoughts. Also you know both of us give you and FIL that private space and you have all rights to not discuss things with us if you choose to do so. Hence, I was myself and DH himself and did not bother you much."

Don't know what she felt. She said that she thinks I am really hurt because of her. I smiled and said that was getting late and would miss the bus and left home with a" bye mom. See you in the evening "

 

Unsure of how to proceed here on. Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.
Thanks ladies

 

I needed to vent /rant. I did that. Got support from some really nice people here
@SGBV, @Rihana @guesshoo @coolgal123 @gauridinesh @MNR and a few others.
Thank you ladies.

An update -

Now my MIL does not talk to me. If she wants to talk - she is choosing topics that are more general like a TV show or some Indian festival or some distant relative - how they were in their childhood etc.
Recent topic was when will I start packing for India.
I can see a distinct change in her and she waits for me to do things in my house and does not rush as much as she used to, earlier.
She still has the kitchen under her control and I am still cooking for my lunch box. If I am lazy I eat out.
But for dinner, there is enough food most of the times. If there is less, I use the frozen food.
She mentions if there is anything that she wants and we get it when we buy groceries. She is letting me shop the groceries without involving much. She just tells me, "We already have a pack of apples, you may not want to bring one more". "Use by date on milk bottle is so n so - you way wish to get one more bottle so you dont have to buy one before the next grocery shopping day" etc stuff.
She does not comment if DH makes a cuppa for me, she does not say anything if I take time in heating up his dinner.

I am still maintaining that distance. I feel sad because I don't have my parents alive and I have always treated my MIL like my mom. It hurts me to see that now I have lost that too. I am not sure what Ia m going through. With Indian trip coming closer, the pain just grows but does not subside
I keep thinking if only mom was live, if only I had a place to go other than my in-laws house. I am visiting my uncle and aunt but yea its a LOT different than having our own place and our parents.

As I mentioned in one of my threads, I am taking a break from IL until DS recovers. Please keep him in your prayers.

Thanks all

 

@Rihana. You misunderstood me, maybe ?
I dont have a problem with her current attitude.
I shared it here so as to give a picture of whats going on now after my attitude change. Thats all.
I am happy with her less interference into my stuff.

I am thankful for whatever she has done to my kids so far. No issues in accepting the fact that she has been a great help so far in all these years

Yeah as much as I am looking forward to the holiday, I am also a bit nervous, taking one day at a time.

 

hahahaha satchi akka !! Thanks akka.
Just doing what works for me and learning to stand up for myself because if I don't, then no one will