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When parents distribute assets unequally

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2012.

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  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The parents have a right to decide the distribution. Agree.

    That is nice, for you, your parents and sister.
    What if your parent(s) decide to give three-fourths or four-fifths or all to your sister? Would you still feel that in spite of working hard she is not able to make much money, and the lopsided distribution of parents' asset is OK? Or would you feel some resentment while still respecting your parent's decision?

    So, it is OK for parents to play God and equalize the destiny of their children? What if the poor ones are poor due to laziness and not being brave enough to take chances? What if destiny is actually the courage to take chances?

    Money is a funny thing. It can create rifts in the deepest of relationships.
    Extrapolating, is there absolutely nothing wrong in parents giving the child who has more nothing at all and giving everything to the poor child? Or would that be a "little" wrong? Just asking, a reply is not mandatory. :)
     
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  2. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    whoever gets less usually feels its unfair.
     
  3. vcstar

    vcstar New IL'ite

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    I think it varies from case to case.
    Some parents think fair some not. By the time of property sharing, some would think for their own life as to which sibling stays in the same city as their own, no matter the sibling is well to do or not, cares for them or not. Some may try or bribe in word,anticipating the near one would take care of them, yet not distributing the property.
    its difficult to say what siblings feel too. Nowdays many try to make use of the situation.

    I personally believe,expectations hurt. If i want to help my parents, I should be doing without expecting the returns, and may be anticipate even that to go to my other siblings. Forget about what parents own. Evenmy contribution can also turn up. because I learnt from somebody, once we give something to others, it becomes theirs.. and what they own , they can give it to anybody.
    Fair unfair.. its upto their mind, their decisions . What we do, we think is upto our mind.
    weird... but we got to seek our own peace, isn't it!
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2012
  4. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    Couldnt read all replies.

    It is ok to give more not-so well settled children but Parent should first talk to the well settled children before announcing the decision. Otherwise anybody for that matter will feel bad. Its not about money/property or jewellary but about relationship of siblings and their attitude.

    To me if any of my sibling are not doing well in future I would give for them... so is the attitude of younger sis but I am sure my elder sis will not leave even a peice of cloth. She is doing better both in personal life and carrer among 3 of us. My younger sis never utter a word even during difficult times. So it all depends on individuals.
     
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  5. kiranmadhu

    kiranmadhu Senior IL'ite

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    i would be ok with my parents giving my sis three fourth or four fifth.

    destiny can be related to the courage. can't deny it. but i have seen some courageous ones too fail.

    my father-in-law who is no more gave much more to my brothers-in-law than us. we never bothered so as to get our mind troubled. we still share a good relationship with my husband's brothers. it was not a fair division. my husband never bothered. so who am i to question ?

    Doesn't the physically weaker child get more attention in a family and fussed upon to make him/her eat nutritious food. lazy ones need not be rewarded. but weaker one can definitely be given more attention. it isn't unfair. just my opinion. for each their own.
    if it is disturbing, it is better to discuss with the parents to get an idea from their perspective.
     
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  6. tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Eandian, you know my SIL... Don't you?

     
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  7. Indugops

    Indugops New IL'ite

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    Probably, parents try to win the affection of the particular child by any means possible?
     
  8. Indugops

    Indugops New IL'ite

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    Dividing property equally might be a legal requirement, but in my experience and of others I know, it is rarely practised!!

    In today's world, daughters getting jewellery during marriage is not the only factor that needs to be accounted for. What about education expenses for children of both sexes? If a son has had a very expensive education, should he get a lesser share of the inheritance than a daughter who has not?
     
  9. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    In my case the well settled one gets more of everything! Don't know how my parents will distribute their assets but as of now all concern and affection is for the one who is useful to them.
     
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  10. divyarnair

    divyarnair Silver IL'ite

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    I would say Parents have to discuss and then divide among st children.
    It is fair on parents part to give the children equally.However, the well settled child can willingly decide to give away his/her part of share to the other siblings.Unequal division will cause resentment among the children after the parents are dead.
     
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