When parents distribute assets unequally

Thanks pamela for your attitude to make me understand this situation, i can very well make out what you said but the only thing which i cannot understand is the acceptance of jewels even by her kid. Finally i understood that it is every one's own perspective, it may be right for some people and wrong for some people, so let me stop this here otherwise it would be like a big debate, otherwise dear blessed would feel bad about me when i do more debate on this blessed, i made myself in that situation and commented, sorry if my posts hurts you.

 

Rihana, when I was a working mother in India, my MIL did absolutely nothing for my son. Yes, I had a maid who did all the work and even looked after my son,(he was not a baby) I paid her extra to even feed him. On the rare occasions, when she didn't turn up, my son would go without eating the whole day. My maid needed no supervision, she did her work even when my ILs were away.
My ILs were absolutely no help to me. One day, while I was leaving for work, I heard my FIL telling someone on phone, that they are chowkidars(watchman) in the house. Now, who told them we needed a watchman. They told us that they were too old to do anything, so they needed to stay with us.
This is the reason , I am so pained when someone assumes that ILs living with son and dil provide a lot of convenience and it pains me that NRIs IN GENERAL believe that living with ILs is no big deal.

 

I think NRIs should be prepared for losing their share in the inheritance. I will add, be wise, look after your own needs, don't go overboard helping your parents and siblings. Just do how much is necessary and how much you are willing to do without expecting any return.

One who knows how to milk the situation wins. Not only siblings, parents also manipulate their richer kids to help the 'apparently (not actually) poorer one'.

 

Thats the gist of the entire thread here.....

 

Hi...
I would also suggest that though siblings should be treated equally, its upto the opinion of the parents on deciding the shares... but actually speaking none of the parents do split equally.... its always the kid whom they shower much of their love & affection that gains the much

But when it comes to their end, they expect the 1st kid to take care of all their expenses & they also wish that he should constantly give them/satisfy their expectations...

On the other hand , they actually hurt the son who does all to them & who feels that their parents should be happy...

Life's gonna be the same however you try to change yourmen... am fedup of all these & now have stopped pin-pointing to my hus... because i know that whatever i say ll never enter his ears ...

Stay Cool !!!!!!!!!!

Rgds,
RD

 

My mother is around 80 and still she is what she was 40 years ago. She only shows her anger where she will not get any thing back, that is me. I have a elder sister (she is the eldest in the family) and 3 elder brothers. Youngest in the family, my kid sister, died some years back, when she was 25 years old.
My mother favours my second brother even when he was a kid, though the first bro and sis worked to educate us (dad earned very little). She gave importance to sis because she was taking care of family, but ignored the elder son though he too contributed as sis. Second bro started helping only after both these two were married and could not help any more (earnings were not great). But she never mentions the 2 children who did so much those days, she only boasts about second bro. She was in favour of sons only, daughters were not welcome. But with 3 sons, she had been to most places/temples thro me. I have taken her to most places, I foresee many things she may feel uncomfy and do the needful. But she even blames me for things gone wrong due to others fault. I go home because my bhabi is a good person and genuinely welcomes me. She even tells her that I need not be given anything (like home made items, festival food etc.) as I dont complain. Now for the past 3 years, they are in Chennai but they give me the pongal/karthigai seer when I go there- my bro and wife do not come here to give it to me. She boasts that my sil's bros bring things for her but never tells her sons to take things when they visit their sis. It is always one way traffic - I give all the time. I dont mind giving but no one even visits me when I am sick. Nothing will change, once they set their mind.

 

There is nothing more painful than to come to the realization that your parents don't care for you as much as you thought they did. It took me a long time and I was shattered when suddenly I had to accept this reality. My elder sibling was always their preference. I no longer question what they do but one thing is certain...if they decide to give everything they own to my sis I will fight tooth and nail for my right. I have no attachment. Now it is only resentment.