When Neighbours Invite Themselves Over Too Often

Dear OP,

Few things we cannot avoid. Being social with neighbours is important especially when you have kids and when they are friends of your kids.

But it depends on how many times they are coming and how long they are staying at your house. If it's too long, and if it's really causing problems, then you can politely tell them that you have some other work to attend.

Better to deal with them delicately.

 

As soon as neighbor kid/mom comes at your door, just take them all to lobby along with your kid, saying let us play here. Always do this, if you have any small work, you can go alone inside home for 5 min, and can come back to sit in the lobby or go for a walk outside. If weather permits use this time for walking, while kids play, just say I am going for a walk, do u want to join, u can also supervise kid that way if he/kids are cycling etc, u and kid will get ur exercise done, so u don't feel ur time is wasted.

Or even before anybody comes sit in the lobby with your book or laptop and just work there, supervising your kid. If any kid or mom comes do small talk and continue your work,

Let kid play, u just tell him to play outside (with parent supervision) / lobby instead of inside home (be yours or theirs).

Just cut it to few minutes like 5 - 10 min, just say bye and go for a walk or inside to finish some chore/check mails etc, tell them that u have this thing to do. As you all talking that much time, they think it is OK to go to your home for long time, so cut down that time.

 

Tricky , I know. May be you should gently excuse yourself saying you have a task to do. Or say, you have to do specific tasks at this time of the day, so that they get the message...

 

I had a strict policy that my son is not allowed to go anyone's home and not allowed to bring anyone inside home.
My son being clumpy and careless I was worried if he gonna break anything in anyone's house ( i had a neighbor who had shelf full of thing and each piece costed like 3 to 4 lakhs, she was super nice but I was worried if he ever step in their house even if i was with him )
I did not want any kid in my house as i didn't want to be responsible for them while they play. If he is bringing someone, it has to be with parents approval and i sit and watch leaving everything.

Now the kids are grown, daughter bring her friends home but they are older and son play only outside with this friends.

Another issue we will face when kids come and go to one another's house is food. I'm worried to give if they are allergic to anything and they don't tell me, and i don't like people tells me "ooo your son loves to food, he ate this, he ate that, I gave this and he eat all, and the crib along their kid does not eat anything. ' My son is not allowed to eat anything from anywhere with out calling and asking and i always tell him to eat with limit no matter whose house is that. 

 

Hi OP,
When they invite themselves, talk for few mins and tell them politely that you have work and please don't mind.. And apologies to them that you are not able to spend time with them.. Do this for few times and I think they will get the point.

Regards,
Niriha.