When Melancholy Meets Nostalgia

The day seems so bare and I am unable to focus on work in spite of several trials..

My mind has traveled back in time to the period when covid was playing spoilsport on this planet giving shivers even to the strongest of individuals. I am still wondering about the remarkable power of the human mind which conveniently forgets even disasters of this magnitude and carries on with its own selfish ramblings, sometimes with an audacity of blowing even minuscule things out of proportion. Shouldn't we be extremely thankful for being alive today to live this life?

I have been allocated a new seating place in my office. I was thrilled, as this change has come after around 4 years. The room is close to the coffee point and is pretty spacious. There are 3 occupants in the room already and I will be the fourth and the last one. After exchanging pleasantries, with a bright smile, I walked towards the allocated seating place.

My heart skipped a beat, a drop of sweat concentrated on my forehead and my breathing became a little bit shallower after I saw a name stuck on the small bulletin board on my desk, '**** *****". I also saw a quote by Stephen Hawkins neatly affixed on the other side of the desk," However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at". It was both sweet and sour at the same time.

Though the quote served as an inspiration to my already troubled mind, the person who took a printout of this quote and stuck it neatly on the board is no longer alive...

Memories of him started flooding my otherwise preoccupied brain as if recollecting them are my utmost priority at that moment. His smile, his humble attitude, his children whom I met during the annual day festival, his beautiful wife, his happy Facebook dp, and his meaningful suggestions to improve the canteen infrastructure came running into my overburdened mind..In a fraction of second those nostalgic memories suddenly became gloomy when my mind recollected how he was infected by the dreaded coronavirus during the second wave in 2021. His last days were a shocker to all of us.

Who would expect a healthy, fit man in his forties with no comorbidities to die of covid? It all started with a simple sore throat that escalated into a cough. He was recovering well and suddenly his condition deteriorated and he was put on a ventilator. Daily updates were shared that he is doing well and stable and would be soon out of ICU. We were hopefully praying for his speedy recovery and since his family was unable to meet the ICU expenses, we even created a benevolent fund to which all of us employees contributed with so much positivity that he is going to come back. The very next day we get the news that he is no more..Though I have not interacted much with him, I felt the grief piercing my heart for the next 3 days..

I got back to normal and today after 2 years, I am once again transported to the past. I was told to collect the keys to his cupboard from the repository meant for storing keys. I was told that the keys were deposited by his wife. When I held the keys in my hand, a strange feeling engulfed me. In this unpredictable world, what is yours today, will become somebody else's tomorrow. I prayed to him sincerely, now that he has become god, to guide me through my life. I prayed for his parents, wife, and wonderful children. A breeze suddenly flew over my face and I felt as if he, who has now been dispersed with nature, is acknowledging my thoughts. I calmly went and sat in his chair with my eyelids battling tears and I made up my mind to not remove his name from the bulletin board reserving a small place for him in my heart as well as in this transient world.

We never know what will happen the next moment. So, let us strive hard to live life in the present and load it with lots of purpose and empathy.

 

Thank you for your feedback and fine post nomination @iyerviji ji..This is infact my first nomination in IL! God bless you and your family

 

Thank you @Viswamitra ji, I am overwhelmed to know that he is now immortal in all our hearts. Nowadays, I feel that I am struck in the daily rat race and my core qualities are slowly eroding away. I feel I need to do much more to fill my heart with love, compassion and empathy. I will consider your comment as the starting point. Thank you for your blessings. God bless you and your family in abundance.

 

Thank you @MadhuRK for your wishes. One thing I would want now and forever is peace. I would trade anything I have with me for that peaceful state of mind..Thank you for articulating it out..Let peace fill your heart as well in abundance.