> When Grandma Goes To Court > > Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a > question if they aren't prepared for the answer. > > > In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting > attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, > elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and > asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, > 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known > you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a > big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your > wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them > behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when > you haven't the brains to realize you'll never > amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. > Yes, I know you.' > > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, > he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, > do you know the defense attorney?' > She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. > Bradley since he was a > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a > drinking problem. He can't build a normal > relationship with anyone, and his law practice is > one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention > he cheated on his wife with three different women. > One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' > > The defense attorney nearly died. > > The judge asked both counselors to approach the > bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, > 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, > I'll send you both to the electric chair.'