When everything I touch turns to ashes!

Hello everyone. In my previous post I mentioned what I was going through. Thankfully H has stopped drinking although not completely, once a week. There has been a lot of improvement on that front. He isn’t behaving violently when drunk. But our problems haven’t gotten any lesser. If we are ok for 2 days we fight for a week. It has been the same since 4 months now. As am still a student and not working I am financially dependant on him for now. He sends more than half his salary to his family every month. He says he is doing some ‘investments’ in India. This is true to some extent. SIL’s husband invests in property, building and selling houses. H is partner among with others. But it is as if SIL’s husband is doing the business, taking profits and reinvesting. I haven’t seen any real returns till now atleast in our bank account. They sell houses once in 6 months and reap a good profit but it is nowhere to be seen. H’s brother is another liability. He is so happy that H is doing 2 jobs, and expects pay from 1 job for himself. So no matter how much H earns everything is going back home. We live pay check to pay check. H says that since they took care of him for 30 years, ( he had been working in UK since he was 24) it is his responsibility to take care of them now. I can understand if he wants to take care of his mother, but his entire family, that is a bit too much. His brother is a Software engineer, his wife is working as well. SIL thinks she owns him and I cannot even begin to describe MIL. Everyone in his family is there for the money. They feel bad because we had a love marriage, so no dowry. They feel they have lost crores of rupees. Is it wrong if I ask H where the money is going? If I ask him this question he tells me to be like other wives. Do all wives keep quiet in situations like these? He tells me that it is his money and when I earn he will not ask me what I do with it which is BS as he wants to take my med school loan money as well. Am I wrong to be careful about finances as we have a toddler now? We have been married for 4 years and he had been working for 8 years before that. When we got married he had zero savings or investments. He had been taking care of his entire clan and even after all these years they expect the same. Morever he told me not to talk to my fanily and that his family is my family. I asked if that was the case then his sister shouldn’t talk to him as well. She can live off his money but I cant talk to my family. He wants all the properties in his name. MIL calls him to come to India alone and buy properties. God knows on whose name those will be registered in. H tells me if I talk to him in a certain way he will listen to me or else do whatever he likes. I don’t know what way that is. I have tried talking to him as lovingly as possible but his mother and sister always triumph.

Now a days he hates my cooking, hates everything I do. The dishes that he loved before are tasteless now. I always make sure everything I cook tastes good. Don’t know how something, which was his favourite before, is disgusting now. He told me today after eating idlis that I hadn’t cooked anything good that would fill his stomach in all these months. I feel no matter how hard I try nothing seems to be working. The situation is such as even if I take God’s name it somehow turns into a bad word.
We haven’t been intimate since last October, the month MIL came to visit us for 6 months. She has been gone for 3 months and nothing has changed. No intimacy no love nothing. I feel someone has black magic on us. We were so happy before, we bought a new house, new baby, everything was going on so well. From our marriage day this feb everything has changed, complete 360 turn. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about all this but after all that is happening I don’t know what to think anymore. Should I just ignore everything for now. I am tired of everything . No matter how hard I try not to have fights they have become a companion now. I wish they were regular fights, they are not. We go without talking for weeks together. Nothing is working. Guys seriously what should I do? Is there anything called black magic, dhristi? We were so crazy in love before. Now I don’t even know why we are together.

 

Thanks guys. I know I shouldnt be thinking about superstitions but sometimes we are pushed so far down the line that nothing else comes to mind. I know I shouldnt worry about finances atleast for the time being and that I will be financial independent but there are days I cannot control my emotions. H doesnt even like me doing medicine as he feels i will earn more than him. I do it because it has been my goal all along. As you guys know he has problems and I am very scared he will relapse.