First I allow myself to feel those emotions, then find out that some thoughts triggered by incidents outside is making me feel sad, fear etc., Once I ID that the feelings get to lose their power and I am able to see or watch my mind closely. I am suddenly free of those feelings. I resume any task that is pending and that is it.I do not seek any outside help and tend to resolve everything myself. Later I might talk to my close kin about what I underwent or not.
I can totally relate to what you’re saying. There are days when everything feels overwhelming, and it’s hard to know what to do next because your mind is just consumed by emotions—whether it’s fear, sadness, or frustration. In those moments, it’s not always about fixing the problem right away, but more about just sitting with those emotions and allowing yourself to feel them without judgment. For me, taking a step back is often the first thing I do—whether that means going for a walk, doing something creative like journaling, or even just zoning out to a comforting playlist. It’s amazing how much just giving yourself a little break can help clear the mental fog. Sometimes, reaching out to a close friend or family member for a chat can be so comforting, too—sometimes we need that outside perspective to remind us of we’re not alone in feeling this way. Personally, I try to divert my mind by cooking something new or watching a good TV serial. It helps me take my focus off the stress and puts me in a different mindset for a little while. What do you usually find helps you during those times? Have you found any activities that help lift your spirits, even if only a little bit? Would love to hear what works for you!
I distract myself from the thoughts by keeping myself occupied, like talking to people, shopping, watching movies, singing smule, doing zumba type workouts. Sometimes writing down my emotions on a paper helps me feel better.
Nice thread, @wish4miracle! All the coping mechanisms mentioned in the responses here are doable. I learned a lot here.
Diverting, distracting...are they not escaping mechanisms? I want to recall an incident in the life of Sw.Vivekananda. In his own words: "Once when I was in Varanasi, I was passing through a place where there was a large tank of water on one side and high wall on the other. It was in the grounds where there were many monkeys. The monkeys of Varanasi are huge brutes and sometimes surly. They now took it into their heads not to allow me to pass through their street, so they howled and shrieked and clutched at my feet as I passed. As they pressed closer, I began to run, but the faster I ran, the faster came the monkeys, and they began to bite at me. It seemed impossible to escape, but just then I met a stranger who called to me, 'Face the brutes?'. I turned and faced the monkeys, and they fell back and finally fled. That is the lesson for all life – face the terrible, face it boldly" Thought invoke emotions, and a we try process the thoughts the monkey the mind starts behaving. It is actually the freedom!
Interesting question! I think diverting or distracting can help when one is feeling overwhelmed and the mind is frozen due to deep sadness or total fear. Doing something that distracts or relieves the feeling of anxiety or stress provides relief. After that temporary shift of focus, the mind comes back often with a reduced intensity of emotion, and one is a little more prepared to deal with the issue at hand. Maybe for Swami Vivekananda, those few minutes of walking in fear also gave the strength and courage to turn around and deal with the monkeys. Would he have confronted the monkeys if the stranger had not come along, we'll never know.
"Interesting question! I think diverting or distracting .........the monkeys if the stranger had not come along, we'll never know. [/QUOTE] Yes, it comes with only a lot of practice, but we can start somewhere. Once we realise that we cannot always avoid situations, it can give strength to stop, think and then relax.
They are not escaping. I think if it was an emergency situation (Like Vivekananda had to cross the monkeys anyway) people would go ahead and face it! The OP's question was about coping. And things take time to absorb ! And only when the thoughts are processed, the clouds of emotions clear and then only we get the sense of purpose and we can take appropriate action!
@wish4miracle, All of us have gone through such difficult or low times in life. Each one of us handled it differently. Only thing we should recognize is brooding over that situation is not allowing us to move forward in life. We are not living in thoughts but in real world. We have enough tools to face any situation courageously and with self-confidence. Everything in life doesn't have a solution but we need to build strength to overcome that situation. Life is not filled with only trial and tribulations nor it is filled with joy and happiness. Always the root cause of a problem is how we perceive it. For example, a difficult situation can be trivialized by the power of the mind or make it much more complicated than it already is. We have to analyze the situation accurately and apply only the right emotions to it. Emotions are a coping mechanism gifted to us and there is nothing wrong in feeling bad about it. All we need to do is to analyze whether our mind's response to the situation is at an appropriate level. In situations like this I think about the pleasant experiences I have encountered that makes me balance between them. Emotions subside substantially over a period of time realizing one problem is not going to stop my life. It is like pouring water into the fire. Killing that emotion without allowing a process is bad as it can come back more vigorously. I hope I answered your question.
Yes sir, I resonate with the part where one cannot brood over the situation for long time hindering the present time and thinking about good part of life to balance it out. If I am first timer to face a particular situation or the nature of the problem, I think my mind takes longer time to come around. That's when I look for some of the coping/escape mechanisms to kill the overtime I would spend rewinding about it. Maybe the type of problem is fresh, and the hurt is real and raw and emotions run very high. Taking my mind off the problem for a while will definitely help me to think about the problem rationally a little later. I did handle myself good in some situations. Without any distractions. I hope Time/Age/Life experiences sooner or later will teach me on how to handle things better than yesterday and little less of temporary coping ways. Learning to take each day as it comes.