Hi all, Not even 2 years into my marriage and I am back with another issue. I had a small visit to my in-laws house for 9 days.I was in a very excited mood and had planned to enjoy immnesely.Everyone was feeling the same.Only thing I had thought was that I wont blabber like before in front of everyone since it causes issues later on.. Well things were moving fine...Suddenly in the middle of my stay one night my husband got totally mad at me.I dont know why and what happened..Next day all in the house were also a bit upset..I didnt understand why... Later my husband said that is because I am not myself and not talking like before and that I am angry..:spin..I was totally shocked by all this.. Well to cut a long story short..I did manage to get everything back to normal within a day... The day I was suppose to leave with my husband..my inlaws started scolding me.FIL was like I am short tempered and a bad girl.Dont understand things..Cant keep his son happy.He will complain to my mom..etc etc..MIL was like I should listen to my husband..Cope up with his anger..keep quite and do as he says..it seems her son is not happy... Can anybody explain me what is happening here. What is that I did not understand or missed out anything...Did I misbehave somewhere.. As far as my husband and I are concerned..we fight and make up..Thats common.. Worst is my husband was also silently listening and later on he was scolding me as to why I am crying..etc..etc.. Now I strongly feel that I am stuck among some bunch of fools..How can a FIL shout like this..Is there no regard left... Since then I am trying to get normal but these things keep popping up every now and then in my head...I am felling so angry... Now I know I have to talk to my inlaws and live like a normal girl..but I dont feel like before..I dont feel the happiness any more..Everything seems to be an act..
Hi cool... seems like I'm the first to reply... what went wrong???? I think don't pay too much attention to all this... PILs have their own wierd inferences when they hear the DIL argue with their darling son... If talk you too much then its that you are talkative... if you talk less then you are angry..... Can't win the battle of logic with them... chuck them out... leave the 9 days behind and move on....:bonk:bonk Be happy and Positive in front of your DH... concernatrate and improving and sharig better relationship between the 2 of you... All the best:thumbsup K
why dont you ask your dh as to what happened or else you may need to keep guessin as to what happend as 9 days is a big time and we as not present on that situation may not say what could have happened your dh is right one to say why he is unhappy and what made his parents confront you
I know that we keep having fights and we end up mad at each other for hours. He did tell me once that he wants to share everything with his mother.. I dont mind the arguments as long as we can make up..But why the family has to interfere and mess things up.. The worst is he can go ahead and share but where should I go..I was shown a great pic before marr and this is what I get.. There were loads of expectations from me but maybe I idnt live up to that.. As far as his parents getting upset is coz I was not as chirpy or talkative as before..They all know that my husband and I fight more then any average couple since he is short tempered and I dont want to give in to him all the time and that keeps bothering them..
Do your duties as a wife. Reduce talking to your DH. Do not try this at once try slowly everything will be alright. I am telling you from my personnel experience.
Cool , He could share whatever with his mommy.. no issues. Stopping that and getting him to respect privacy will simply mean - You are coming between me and mommy !! :bonkSo, leave them alone. Tell your hubby, you dont mind that he goes crying to her.. But, what you dont like is being treated like a school kid.. You dont like it when his mommy comes upto you and uses her sharp tongue ! So, if that can be avoided.. you are going to be happy even if there is gossip ! BUT, why do the fights happen in the first place ? Dont you think, you need to work on that.. ? Because, since there is a problem, there is COMPLAIN ! No problems, no complains ! Read problems here as arguments ! Now, you agree he is short tempered. What is the whole idea of making a point to him when he blabbering something in anger ! Cant you just let go off that crazy kid till he calms down ! Then make your point ! Atleast, there is someone to listen !!! Yeah, it a'int easy to listen to nonsense all the time, i agree ! But, what is the point in arguing back when he his shouting his lungs out, Cool ? Do you want to just argue or do you want to be listened to ?? Decide ! About those 9 days ! You think, your inlaws have a clue why they were upset with you ? No. So, just be as cluless as they are. See, some people want to be upset and angry with another person NO MATTER WHAT ! If you start to wonder why, it is simply WASTE OF YOUR TIME ! The next time.. make sure, not to cry and smile when they say you are bad ! promise them you will be a good girl by the next visit or atleast soon ! Cool, just be anyone saying you are " UNCOOL " do you become one ? :crazy When people shout for no reason and pick on you unnecessarily, the best way is to just keep ' a confused face ' and wander your mind to something you like to eat !
Thanks Hema and Preethi.. Thanks a alot for your wonderful advice. As of now I am just performing my duties..Not happy and neither sad...Just as it is...And it feels much better.. Yes Dr Preethi..I know this yelling was an inbuilt frusatration from my inlaws..My DH is very close to his mom and I never come in that...Trust me..All this happened suddenly and I was not even prepared for it..Infact we were all laughing over something...I felt so embaressed that I cant tell you:-( About the arguments I do try not to give him a chance..The problem is he wants me to fall on his family like him...Leave the world behind and just keep making every one happy..Is that possible to do all the time...Dont we need time for ourselves... Be it 9 days or 100 days..I cannot keep running around and making everyone happy.I do as much as possible..my MIL will only say that she misses her son so much and all that..Both will shed some tears and my DH will then show all the frustration on me..Is that justified..??Now I try to avoid all the fights....and be keep things as he wants..I guess actions speak more then the real feelings...
