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What was the reaction from your inlaws when you got your first baby girl?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by silver, Jun 13, 2009.

  1. silver

    silver New IL'ite

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    Hi friends
    you may be surprised to see the title.how many inlaws welcome a girl baby with a warm heart?
    When I delivered my daughter,my inlaws came to see me.First thing MIL along with FIL said was all my family members have given birth to boy baby as first child,(her eldest son -my hubby,her daughters have sons)it's a shame for me to see a girl baby.the so said person is a retd govt.employee,reasonably educated.i felt very bad hearing that.still couldn come over from that.
    now my daughter 's 6 years old,when they speak with her in sugarcoated words ,i remember their words said on that day.My dream is making my daughter brilliant and attain a very good position infront of these people.
    my husband preferred a girl and he's so attached to my daughter than me.
    Friends,
    what do you feel about this kind of attitude towards girl children even in educated people?
     
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  2. Happysoul1234

    Happysoul1234 Gold IL'ite

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    I think they are all nuts who may have an education but no brains!
    In this day and age, I think girls make better children as they are more emotionally attached to their parents and can think of taking care of the parents in more ways than a son ever could.

    Girls today are just as educated, career-focussed and goal-oriented as any boy. additionally, they can multi-task way better than any man and manage home, career, kids and stupid in laws ... what boy could ever think of doing all that?
     
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Silver, I have seen some people with son's talk like this.I have come across more of such talk from in laws in our family. Sometimes its the ego of having a male child. They do think its equal to being royalty if having sons.(I have heard one person say that:rotfl:rotfl).I dont have children yet but I will prefer a girl anytime over a boy.I wouldnt give too much weight to people who show a girl child down. Can we forget its a woman who gave birth to us.Today in what way is a girl less than a boy.Nevertheless we shud never get influenced by such people.Daughters are as much a treasure as sons becoz they are our kids . Being a daughter or a son doesnt change the fact that they are our kids.Will we love them differently.Definitely not.So it shudnt matter at all.
    I do feel all women who have girl child are blessed becoz a daughter will go an extra step in everything she does.Good Luck.
     
  4. JustAni

    JustAni Silver IL'ite

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    My in-laws were estatic!

    Since my m-i-l had 3 sons, & my hubby being the eldest, she REALLY wanted a baby girl... but during my full pregnancy, she never mentioned it to me or to anyone else either. My f-i-l & bs-i-s too were very happy.

    She holds a special place, since she is the 1st grandchild of the house... & the 2nd grandchild is a girl too.... All are very happy!

    This is what is called GIRL POWER!
     
  5. Visu2k

    Visu2k Gold IL'ite

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    Boy or girl doesn't matter - a child is a precious gift, a bundle of joy, can make you smile in any situation. Those who prefer a child for its sex are plain morons. Even if it were a boy, they are showering all the so called "love" on him for just being born a boy. That is not love, IMO.
     
  6. tiyamommy

    tiyamommy New IL'ite

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    silver,

    hmmm.. had a similar experience like urs...My MIL n FIL r both doctors. I concieved after 5 yrs of m'age n with lot of treatment. Yet my "baby shower" was a nightmare n later when my daughter was born , my IL's came to c. n my MIL said "im not joyed coz a gal is born". already there r enuff gals in family. so my FIL tried to cover up saying to her , we dont have a gal at our home, all gals r at ur maternal side, im happy. Instead later, everytime i used to touch her feet for ashirwad she used to say " now give us a son".. My co-sis has a son 1 yr older to my daughter, i see lot of difference between pampering him n her.. also now since we r long distance , they havent got attached to her..
    When my co-sis was preg n it was her baby shower pgm , b'coz of work , we were not beign able to go to the function, MIL said to me " if u dont come to the function , people will think u havent come coz u dont have children"...I went just to prove her wrong.

    Education has nothing to do with values. if people r cynical , they will act foolish n discouraging whether educated or illiterate...This fact i realised only after m'age :)

    cheers
    tiyamommy
     
  7. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Even though my mil is extremely troublesome and obsessed with her own MALE child, I believe that my inlaws would be equally pleased whether I had a boy or girl. Bottom line is, it would be the child of their child.... I think that would make them very happy, regardless of gender. *I think*

    Anyone who has the nerve to ruin the happiness of a new mom, simply because the baby is a girl, must be an absolute heartless idiot. My hubby in fact wants a daughter. We're having to wait so many years before having children, by the time it happens we will be too excited to ever even think of a boy/girl preference. :gift

    Silver, I hope your daughter succeeds in life and proves to everyone what you already know... that she is a very special girl. :thumbsup Glad to hear your hubby does not think like his parents!
     
  8. namianu

    namianu New IL'ite

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    hi friends
    My son is now 3 years old, my Mother-in-law has never touched him till now becoz he resembles me:-(. She has 3 sons and so they expected a girl and even predicted that its going to be a girl. When the Doctor came with the baby, my parents were lucky to hold my son as in-laws didn't come forward to accept the baby from the doctor. They felt that Hari,my son, resembles me, while the truth is that he is an "Xerox" of his father:exactly:, except for his complexion. So friends, in my case,the problem is whom the child resembles, and second only comes the sex of the child.
    :frown: namianu
     
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My in-laws would have been disappointed internally, but would never express it. They have some faults, but are above this. So, the joy and best wishes expressed were sincere enough. When the second one was a boy, there was definitely a "good, this is a boy" family name can go on (sic). He is a spitting image of me :wink:.

    So, overall, their reaction was quite OK. frankly, it was similar to that of my parents. Basically, the preference for male child is alive and kicking on both sides, but it is tempered with an acceptance of "any baby is fine, and a healthy baby is something to be very thankful for".

    Rihana
     
  10. ashwini999

    ashwini999 Senior IL'ite

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    i agree...i have seen instances, where even the girls' parents expects their daughter to give birth to a male child...
    its not that they dont like a baby girl or not, but they always have this notion that male child will always be a security for their daughter, after the life of their husband....somewhat agreeable, as there are some extents, that a girl cannot cross over, to help thier parents,once they are married...
    so, its bascially the percerption of why they want a male child various, with the inlaws side being - to take the family name forward, and on our side, thinking it will be a security..
     

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