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What To Understand From This Behaviour Need Advice.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Dishaa, Nov 26, 2021.

  1. Dishaa

    Dishaa Silver IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    I want your suggestions or view points in this senario I faced.

    Recently during my visit to inlaws, my father all of a sudden fell from his chair and got a severe head injury, his skull was visible.

    MIL on asking gave us cotton to dab on the wound, where as SIL never bothered to get up from her chair (I am leaving this part as benefit of doubt becoz of the sudden mishap) we all were very shocked.

    Thereafter, we put some Dettol and ice cubes on the cut and on shifts managed to take debit/cr cards/id proof and rush to hospital.

    My MIL behavior when me, husband and father in law were trying to carry my father upto the car to go to hospital.

    1. MIL started cleaning the blood from the floor at that time only.
    2. She demanded me, to change fathers house slippers to his other slippers. Where as my father was unable to even open his eys, blood was flowing from his head walking or wearing slippers was beyond question.
    3. She was not even ready to lend an easy wear slippers till husband intervened and gave his slippers to wear.
    4. For my husband (her son) no such rules for changing slippers it was only for me and my father.
    5. Father got 8 stiches on his head there was 3 cuts.
    6. In public MIL showed concern to me for not wearing house slippers, where as my and my fathers house slippers went missing. In freezing temp of 6 -7 degrees, I was moving without any slippers, where as papa was in bed rest.
    7. MIL gave advise saying to keep myself cool, I am over reacting to things and so on ....

    Please let me know what shall I interpret from this.
     
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  2. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    Your in-laws are cold hearted, they obviously don’t care about you or your family members, good that your husband is supporting you, just ignore your in-laws and concentrate on your family.
     
    Dishaa likes this.
  3. Dishaa

    Dishaa Silver IL'ite

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    Spoke to hubby about it.

    He said even he noticed the blood was wiped clean, but never knew it was done by his mom as he was facing backward.

    He said its our family which will be only me and him and our kids not our parents / sister in law / any one both side.

    He insisted me to emotionally detach myself from parents both side as he did from his family long back (that is true)

    Also said to ignore and move on considering their age factor as we cant make them change / explain / make them understand at this age they all are 70 +.
     
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  4. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Disha,

    It is about observing things at a distance, I know I might be a lil straight in saying this, but when circumstances are not beyond ones level of understanding, as to what relationship we share, after a certain stage, we have to simply be more empathetic, same time, we should also know how does the emotional bond with these relationships affect your immediate family ....when we expand a family, it brings in a shift of focus for husband or spouse and children...do ur duty, at the same time concur ur thoughts with ur husband who has been so understanding...just focus on ur action of good...rest all will fall on place
     
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  5. Dishaa

    Dishaa Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for your advices...
    Further update on this my father has undergoing bypass surgery and in serious condition.

    By God's grace somehow managing the funds part individually and through office.

    Even husband is standing like a strong pillar for me ignoring his parents suggestions.

    Where as MIL is only concerned about husband office, we are eating outside food why not home prepared food.

    Now FIL / MIL behavior has changed as I didnt took money from them, now they are planning to shift with us.
     
  6. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    Your MIL sounds selfish and ignorant. Wiping the blood when your father is hurt.
     

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