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What to exactly talk on the first time visit?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mindtester, Dec 18, 2013.

  1. mindtester

    mindtester New IL'ite

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    Hi Ilites,

    What should I exactly talk to the girl on the first visit. Before getting engaged as a guy I would definitely visiting the girl and her home with my parents. What should I exactly talk to her and what not to. I really very new to this. Suggestions please. I just don't want to get rejected by the girl saying the guy really messed it up in the first visit!
     
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  2. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    i have very small experience about meeting guys as I just met this one other guy before my hubby.but this was what I did not like about 1st guy
    1.he was boastful-boasted about his hi -flying relatives,his being just 1 yr older then me,buying a scooty ............
    2.he lied about small things.
    3.he was not well dressed-he came directly from office but that is no reason to be shabbily dressed-he could have carried an extra T shirt to change
    4.he behaved as if he was doing me a favour by considering me as proposed partner

    then I met my hubby & this is what I liked
    1.he was well dressed & very polite
    2.he did not lie even though he knew that telling truth may hurt his case.
    3.he complimented me-not something cheesy like'you are beautiful but I like your taste(he was in my room & I assumed he meant everything from my dress to room decoration)
    4.he asked me 'what I wanted from my future spouse...............
    that was it & we got engaged next day & married 2 months after that ..............arranged marriages are often gamble but luckily for me I hit a jackpot.......
    so ,my advice is
    1.dress well
    2.be polite & ask her about her education,ambition ,hobbies
    3.don't lie about even small thing
    4.don't boast about anything

    5.openly mention what you want in spouse-like I want working wife or I am conservative or I have a long working schedule & need a wife who is not overdependent on me for her entertainment.................

    6.mention your career plans-like if you have any overseas plan(one of my friends marriage broke as he wanted to work abroad but the girl did not wanted to leave India & her parents)

    lastly,don't try too hard to please the other party just because you don't want to be rejected..........if rejection happens,its for best as this person was not for you .
    have faith & pray to God to bless you with good spouse(i did & he blessed me with my hubby:))
     
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  3. mindtester

    mindtester New IL'ite

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    Thank you vvery much Pragathi for your suggestions. it really helped me :)
     
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  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Be original. When her folks and yours leave you guys alone to talk to each other, tell her about IL. Both log in to Relationship forum and read some threads. Write or type up your responses to the threads separately. Then compare.

    The above can be done before, after or in lieu of kundli matching. :)
     
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  5. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    laugh1smileyRihana, You serious? Interesting exercise though. me likes it. mindtester, if you ever do this homework, create a new id. :biggrin2:
    Jokes apart, better to discuss all deal breakers for you. This is not an interview to present your best to get placed but an assessment to see whether you both click. So be yourself.
     
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  6. zainabsarfraz

    zainabsarfraz Platinum IL'ite

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    Rihana :goodidea:. We definately should suggest this one to all the to be married couples but then eventually IL's relationship forum will have to shutdown except for the old bee's who are bitten by MIL syndromelaugh1smiley

    Ok nowbtt Op as others have suggested be what you are dont try to pretend or hide anything. Before telling about your likes and dislikes ask her about her hobbies, likes and what she expects from her spouse later you can tell about yourself. If you speak first and if her views doesnt match with yours there are chances that she may not speak freely so let her tell about herself first. Also discuss if you had any past relationships and tell her you have moved on later ask about her past and before leaving tell her to accept the proposal only and only if she likes it and not by coming into anybody's pressure.
     
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