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What should I do?-whether or not to have a 2nd baby

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by aammi105, May 1, 2013.

  1. May 1, 2013 #1
    aammi105

    aammi105 New IL'ite

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    Hello all
    I am 40 yrs old...I have few yrs of experience in my field. I live in US.Now here is my situation. Even after married at young age , I was unable to conceive for 12 yrs.Finally I conceived after 12 yrs after taking lots of chemicals.But atleast its worth it after seeing my 3 yr now. Even though I was career women, smart in whatever I do, before baby I never dig much into career b'coz I was afraid of taking stress will effect on conception.Now after my son started turning 2 I started doing part time masters.Now HERE IS SURPRISE...I AM PREGNANT again naturally..this is big surprise for me..now here is odds and pros...
    1.When I told my husband this news he looked disappointed..he thinks we are old have another baby..he is 48 , I am 40.Financial burden, lack of patience , if we are able to handle the baby emotionally or not??-these are his concerns.
    2.First preganancy I didn't had any help..my parents are not there in this world..my in laws are too old. Even though I hired one cook last time it was very limited help..I GET FEVER when I think about the situation.
    3.Since I am doing masters , I don't know how far I have to push means take a break with my studies??..I am already 40 and I am in little hurry to get a job.
    4.I always wanted to have baby girl...there is good chance to fullfill my dream.
    5.My son will get another company..

    We are little bit leaning towards removing it...but when I think about what I went through inpast...longing for a baby girl...makes me sad..I am confused..what should I do??.
     
    aammi105, May 1, 2013
    aammi105, May 1, 2013
    #1
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  2. May 1, 2013 #2
    Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    congratulations for getting pregnant again!!!
    I have heard of many such cases where the 1 st baby was born after the couple goes through intense therapies and the 2 nd baby happens naturally.I wish someone had cautioned you about this.
    The choice is completely yours.And your husband is right..he's 48 now so by the time the baby will be born he will be 49 and by the time baby grows up and enters college your DH will be 70.I understand why he's not interested in not having another baby.Another issue would be your age during the delivery.Delivery at this age comes with its own difficulties...i am sure you know it better than me.
    But still i am sure there are times when you look at your DS and want him to have a sibling to play with.....
    If i were you and had to make a practical decision then i would not have gone ahead with this...the reason being the cons outweigh the pros....this is completely my POV.
     
    Dinny, May 1, 2013
    Dinny, May 1, 2013
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  3. May 1, 2013 #3
    kamdev1

    kamdev1 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: What should I do?.

    I feel babies are God's gift to us.
    I would suggest you to follow your heart. Let the baby come in this world. I am sure if its a girl, she will make both you and your husband happy.
    Its said that each baby brings its own luck and fortune. Maybe your financial conditions will be better on her arrival.
    Talk to your husband and say that you want this baby to come. I am sure he will understand.
     
    kamdev1, May 1, 2013
    kamdev1, May 1, 2013
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  4. May 2, 2013 #4
    shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    congrats to u. getting pregnant unexpectedly can be very confusing and tormenting. but dont let urselft carried away with this. please discuss the pros and cons with your hubby and take a wise decision. and please let us know your decision. all the best and may god be with you.
     
    shantana, May 2, 2013
    shantana, May 2, 2013
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  5. May 2, 2013 #5
    kamdev1

    kamdev1 Silver IL'ite

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    Hope you both make a wise decision of bringing the baby in this world.
    May god be with you :)
     
    kamdev1, May 2, 2013
    kamdev1, May 2, 2013
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  6. May 29, 2013 #6
    sandylee123

    sandylee123 Silver IL'ite

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    Congratulations for you. I think it's a good thing and babies are God's gift to us. Financial burden is quitely a big problem, but I think you two can deal with it. Think about it before you make a decision.
     
    sandylee123, May 29, 2013
    sandylee123, May 29, 2013
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  7. Jun 24, 2013 #7
    Flyhighbluesky

    Flyhighbluesky Silver IL'ite

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    Please don't hurt the life within you if your finances aren't strong and you feel its too much of a strain.. The least you could do if find a couple longing for a child and willing to adopt and give the child for adoption and if this sounds absurd to you I would say atleast its better than abortion...
     
    Flyhighbluesky, Jun 24, 2013
    Flyhighbluesky, Jun 24, 2013
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  8. Jun 25, 2013 #8
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Aammi, if I may ask, what did you do? Of course, i am not going to be judgemental. whatever others say, we have to do what we think is right for our family.
     
    Rakhii, Jun 25, 2013
    Rakhii, Jun 25, 2013
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