What Should I Do? Please Advice.

Im married for 4 years. Both are working. Have 1 kid. Always got good suggestions from IL. So came back for the same.
From day 1 of marriage my husband/inlaws would try to control me and get things done in their way. I have a SIL with 1 kid who is staying with my inlaws. They all stay in my husband house and with his money. He never shared with all detalis with me. Other than controlling and money issues we were happy together. Thanks to IL friends i could solve these money problems in better way by following suggestions from here.

So i was actually happy seeing my husband change in behavior. But my in laws they cant digest all this. So started their problems.
They say that i always think them as outsider and i dont talk to them at all. Dont stay with them at all. Because i dont want to come into their family. Just want his son. So behaving and talking nicely to him.
Actually im an introvert who dont talk much. So initial days i was not talking to them so much.
Later there was so many issues because of my mil and sil between me and my husband. To keep myself in peace i jus say hi,bye to them also it is really tough to talk to my MIL also. Can refer to my early threads.

When i spoke to my mil in phone recently. She scolded me badly in name of advice. I politely kept the phone. Did not talk much. After that i told my husband that im not going to talk to her anymore as she scolds me badly. He did not pay attention to my words and said me to ignore his mom words. As she is older woman.
Anyway i stopped calling her. Now my SIL and kid want to visit us for her vacation my husband did not pay attention i think.
And now my MIL has asked wtr u have booked tickets for her. When he said No, she started screaming saying u need ur wife permission to do this. U have changed. She has chnaged u. U r ignoring my words completely. U will not take care of ur sister anymore. Ur wife also not talking to me. My husband supported me this time to her. So she got so irritated. She is not talking with him anymore. This is an usual black mail wch she does every time to threaten my husband.
My husband told all this to me and said that he will book tickets for them. I said ok. Confirm the dates with her prior doing this.
When he called her and asked for dates she shouted back saying why all of a sudden u r doing this. U have changed so badly. Ur wife dont give us any respect She dont talk to me and my kid. Why should i come there. Converstaion got heated. Both fought and kept as she said she wont stay in his house and money anymore(it is also usual drama). I was also around him only. So he shouted to me saying i have separated all his relatives from him. No one wants to come his home. I asked him back what did i do. Do they talk to me nicely. During last vacation for my SIL birthday my husband got jewels for her. I went with him to select good design for her as a surprise gift. Please note that he did not even got birthday dress for me that year saying we invested in a property. So dont have money. I chose to ignore at that time. When my husband gave her i was not around. She was so silent and did not say it was good at least. So i asked at least if she thinks so friendly she could have at least told design was nice. But she did not even did that. And hide all the things from me. And now complaining that im not talking properly to them. So smart.
He said how dare u could talk to me like this.
He did not talk after that. I know he is angry on me.

Now he is saying that i should call her and ask her why she is so angry on me. What did i do. Ignore such small things as im younger. And visit us and lets have fun vacation.
I said i have not done anything wrong. As a brother wife i have not disturbed her at all.
He said u r also no different from them, causing more problems to me.
I dont know what to do. I wont say my husband is perfect but he is ok and i could see some positive change on him. So thinking may be i should talk to her just for him. And also His silent treatment will go on if he talks also he will keep saying that no one is talking, and im responsible for this.

On the other side if i give up now they might think their strategy works and they still have power to create problems between us. And even if they visit us they would be creating all problems like this. This is not new to me. And they will be so happy that they can always command me. And my husband jus love them so badly he would fight me like anyhting. But he is giving silent treatment because he is also worried that if things are worsen i would leave him. Based on our pervious fights he know this i would do this.
But this time i really dknow what to do. Please suggest me how to handle this

 

Thanks for the reply!

@yellowmango Wow u understood my husband correctly Dknow how to change him. So i gave up and started living my life.


Just want to understand what should i do for all the not talking well, not mingling with our family complaint. They keep saying this from day 1 of marriage. I'm not talking with them colloquially, not mingling with his family. When my husband said im an introvert they say she talks nicely to u and in workplace.

Now i dont have strength to talk to these people. And i know them since i dont talk they cant complain anything to my husband. So now im intentionally avoiding them. Both are perfect drama queens. And tell me only things which they feel like and call them so friendly and share things to me. I call them occasionally listen to all their stories and cut the call. Whereas they want me to share day to day things to them as they do to me (!?). If i share something to them it always comes back to me saying this should have been done better way.
Im not good n talking back and losing my peace after talking to them. Thatsy I completely stopped talking to my mil for few days.
My husband keeps saying this often, talk to them nicely. They will be happy they dont ask ur money. Just be free with them. U r not staying with them. But soon we all will stay in one family. At that time what will u do. How will u manage.

So i always say whatever i talk they take differently and yells at me sometime. Which is not right behaviour.
And also, they don’t talk back to me properly. Hiding many things. They have not done anything to me or my kid. So why should i only talk to them. Why can’t they behave nicely at least once? Cant they say atleast u have got something good for us.
I know them this will not end even if i talk. They would have some other complaints on me.

For all these he always try from ur side 2 or 3 times call them and talk nicely. Say day to day things. Ask about her kid. Share everything. Make an attempt from ur side just for me.

I really dknw how to handle this. And what they really want me to share because i really dknow what to talk to them. I dknow to act smartly here, and losing my peace after talking to them. But how to convince my husband. Since he keeps saying that i dont want his family jus him.
Please give ur suggestions.