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What Should I do now? Please suggest

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rajapriyaa, Apr 8, 2013.

  1. Rajapriyaa

    Rajapriyaa Senior IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    Mine is bit long story. I am a single parented child ( my dad married another lady and my mom struggled a lot to bring me up) Now am earning decent amount and in a good job. All credits goes to her. 3 years before i got married and my mom stayed with us (my ILs r staying in my BILs house nearby.so my mom stayed with us) But due to some misunderstandings between my mil and mom, my mom left to my native since she didnt want to spoil my happiness. My hubby didnt go to work for 1.6 yrs after my marriage. So I was managing the family.

    My hubby always used to blame my mom since she told the issues to one of our common relatives. When i got conceived there is no one to take care of me, so my hubby asked me to take rental house and to stay with mom and i did the same. After some months we returned to my hubby's home and again all things got messed up. there was big fight between myself and my hubby and 2 days later my FIL was admitted into hospital since he was not well. He had attacks thrice but he didnt follow any diet and used to smoke and drink a lot. He passed away after 2 months and I helped my husband in medical expenses (his BIL didnt even spend for anything). But what i got in return is I killed my FIL.

    All this on the other side, i delivered a baby girl and came to hubby's place after 3 months. I struggled a lot to manage with household and baby but there was no one to help me with. My MIL didnt even come to take care of my kid even she is living in neighbourhood house. Since i cant manage the work at home, my hubby used to fight with me and asked me to go out of the house. I went out and took rental house and stayed with my mom. Again all things were settled down and My hubby was about to leave abroad for work after marriage. So till that time I managed the expenses.

    He used to give amount for family expenses but if i ask money his immediate reply will be what u did with your salary. I know all his bank passwords and used to take money after getting his permission. It happened only for 2 months. When i was in emergency to return amount to my relative, he was not in reachable. So i took money and informed him. For that he treated me like theif and changed all his credentials. It hurted me very badly. After 5 months he resigned his job and came back to india and he stayed with me in my mom's house. We had frequent fights for silly things like food is not good etc.,

    Recently i came to know that I am pregnant for my second baby. He asked me to abort it but I couldnt. Eventhough it was not planned one, I cant kill my own just for carrier growth or whatever it is. So i told him that I am going to deliver it. He used lot many bad words to me and wantedly created so many problems (beated me in the street since i didnt allow him to take my daughter to ILs house since she is sick) I was really hurted with his behaviour. I started to manage the family expenses once he came from abroad and didnt even disturb him in anyway. But in return all i got is bad words to me and my mom.

    For the last 7 months, he used to fight with me for some reason and will go to his home. After 10 to 15 days he will come back and asking for sorry. Again for 15 days he will fight and go. he was not ready to spend also. If i ask for money his face will turn off and things will go in a different way. I was really fed up and told him that I want to live alone. I feel this is better. For the last one month he is calling me and sending me msgs. I am not responding to anything. I dont want to be in trouble until my delivery which is on June.

    I am not sure whether he will change his behaviour or not. But fighting often, beating and using bad words to my mom is not at all acceptable to me. I am totally avoiding him now. Please suggest me what should i do now.
     
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  2. positivegal

    positivegal Gold IL'ite

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    He will never change...
     
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  3. Flyhighbluesky

    Flyhighbluesky Silver IL'ite

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    Live far far away from him! He dsnt care abt you or your kids.. if he did, the least he wud do is find a job and help you..
     
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  4. daffny

    daffny Silver IL'ite

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    as you are working and independent you no need to bear all his nonsense. be strong and tell him straight that you will not allow him beat or abuse like this. if he wants to live peacefully with you let him come your home and live with you. otherwise let him stay with his parents. warn him you will give police complaint next time when he raises his hand.

    let your first child be more close with him. be happy for your second child without thinking of all these problems now. hope everything will be alright soon.
     
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  5. singintherain

    singintherain Senior IL'ite

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    He will change only when he realises that as a husband, man and father he has certain responsibilities that he can't shove it off...You have made the right call by staying away for now, make him earn you and that might probably make him realise his wrong doing.
     
  6. sreemanavaneeth

    sreemanavaneeth Gold IL'ite

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    Hai,

    Better you be away from him once for all. Donot talk to him even if he calls u over your mobile. Pray GOD and deliver Baby. If you will be away from him your mind and body will be fine and the bay in the womb will also not
    disturbed. Your tension will affect your baby. Go to temple everyday . Pray GOD.PRAYER WILL GIVE YOU MORE
    STRENGTH AND GOOD SUGGESTIONS. OM SAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI OMSAI
     
  7. pathinam

    pathinam New IL'ite

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    You don't need to do anything different, I believe what you have done now is the best thing for you...Hope things change for you.
     

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