I have a long way to go! My kiddo is only in first grade Many of my neighbors have kids leaving to college by end of 2020.Most are in 12th grade. We got to meet and all were discussing about empty nest! Now am not saying kids are the meaning of life but one is busy when they are around.When we are younger too, we had so many desires but I feel As we keep growing older, one starts to enjoy and feel contended. However..after kids leave and assuming we will Be in late forties or fifties..what next ? Yeah many say we can pursue some long awaited hobbies, socialize,travel the world BUT many feel tired and do not do whatever they always wanted.Neglected health could also be a reason.Plus our spouse should be in the same wavelength of ours.Or we need to have buddies but most either move away, or retire in the comfort of their homes and to start at that age... Anyways, when my met my neighbor whose only daughter is leaving to a different state next year..she said “I am already prepared” but I could easily sense that she was not and she looked very unsure.She also mentioned her job has now become like a time pass.She said she has no idea what next. When I speak to my in-laws also,they are all the time “I am waiting to go to god.I am done”.. How do people deal after kids leave? Anyone in IL here that way? What do you actually do and Especially people abroad? What next?
These are the things that I have dreams of pursuing once the kids move out of the home. Hopefully, I will feel the same way when the day actually comes and be physically and mentally fit to be able to do all these things. All my wishes are common ones that retired people try to do, nothing fancy. Move to a warmer place within the US and have a big garden and grow lots of fruits, veggies, flowers Learn sewing, design, and stitch Volunteer and teach math to middle and high school kids Keep the home clean, decorate Have a great backyard/sunroom where I could lounge and read my favorite novels and browse without having to worry about next chore Travel to new places
I love traveling too! My dream is to travel from Kashmir to Kanya Kumari! Lot of road trips within India.. I have been to places outside India/US but none of those vacations can hold a candle towards the fun/food/beauty/emotional connection that I felt and saw in my India vacations..It’s just a personal opinion Another dream is to stay atleast six months in India every year. It’s dead silent abroad and a lonely planet.Even hearing traffic sounds/ seeing few people on the road is enough to make life lively. I think people can enjoy retirement better in India.. that’s the one and only dream I have after my kids leave.. Don’t know if it will even come true..but just a thought. life for me started in India and should end in India the above is my “what next”
Exactly, we should use the time to pursue things that we always wanted to and the ones that we enjoy, but was not able to do because of the kids and busy schedule. So the list differs from person to person, but at the end of the day, I am looking forward to it instead of dreading when the day would come. Of course, they are so many factors involved like spouse preference, health ( both physical and mental), but I am trying to be optimistic that I will try to make things happen with years of experience in this world. Wishing you loads of luck for your dream of settling back in India to come true.
You are an early planner, aren't you ? As you had pointed out, when children leave for college, parents are in their "prime earning years", busy with whatever their careers, professions are. It works out just fine, because these are the years when they had to shell out large sums of money for the college costs as well. Children away, one parent at home, one parent at work situation would demand that the at-home parent find activities that are enjoyable, doable by oneself or with similarly situated local friends (other empty nesters, or retired). This may also include more swanky foreign travel, eating in posh places, shopping for expensive useless items, and resisting the urges to talk about children or spouse. There are so many singles travel packages these days. Roadscholar is a good one. One does not have to "travel with buddies"; we meet them on such travel-learning schemes. Listen to other personal histories from some other part of the world. One working, the other gallivanting could be an an exciting, full time occupation. For the less venturesome, there is always volunteer work: school crossing guard is a good one for exercise, good company, and cute customers.
Like I had mentioned earlier, we could always quit work after children leave home for college, and have the spouse do what he always likes (I remember someone posting "wife is away happy dance" movie sketch, I think it was Tamil or Malayalam movie, I cannot remember) , and go off for whole semester lengths to wherever we want. And then come back home during college semester breaks if the child comes home also. found it! It is a Tamil movie: I have a different opinion on vacationing in India. Stressful.
Whatever less time, space or opportunity you get.....enjoy yourselves, and also find time to think about yourselves...your passion, goals future etc., trust me!
The key at any time is to have more in the to-do or wish-list than one has time for. The list items changing but that is fine. The first few things on the "after kids leave" agenda are meeting with some friends. We already have very specific plans, about the date in 2025 or beyond, the restaurant or hiking spot, what we will order and so on. : ) Dreaming of that keeps us going. The first one to bring up kid related talk at that 2025 or beyond meeting will foot the bill of the meeting. More practically, I think the initial months and year or so will go in enjoying the kids-free home while also worrying from afar about them and providing tele-psychiatry. My tentative plans were to choose a small town or developed village in India. We have about five to choose from between the places our grandparents came from. These are developed enough, not many known relatives there now, and good place to live and pursue a small non-profit venture or hobby etc. Those plans fizzled away. The current plan is to make enough money for a few years, then move to a blink and you miss it town along the Arizona/ New Mexico border. Get a gas station franchise. The place will be far enough from the city but close enough for an easy day trip. Will continue to work remotely. The house will be close to the gas station. The path from the gate to the front porch will be long. Why? Just because. : ) But these plans also could fizzle -- if Trump wins and that is followed by 4 or 8 years of Pence, places to retire with brown-skin could be few or none.
"The current plan is to make enough money for a few years, then move to a blink and you miss it town along the Arizona/ New Mexico border. " @Rihana WHY ? That is the name of a small (unincorporated) town near the Mexican border in Arizona. Has a gas station, and a Park Service shack with a National Park Service person in it. Zip Code: Arizona 85321
