What my mom wants?

Then you need to make your case again and let her know when she is hurting your feelings. Be persistent till she gets it and realizes you really mean what you are saying. I think you have a right to do that with your mum and she has a parental obligation to listen and to be appreciative and supportive of you.

 

Dear Mithy,

First big hug to you. Let me tel my story and give you my example, my mama's daughter (mum's younger brother's daughter) we were the smae age just one year age gap my cousin is a year elder to me, since she was young she would come and stay with us and my used to love her becasue she would learn everything from my mum and i would never do anything as i was not interested so she learnt cooking,stitching and so many things from my mum and my mum used to always compare me with her, she was very good in her studies i never was, i was never the GOOD DAUGHTER, i was a lazy bump.Well years passed and my cousin got married and she moved on in her life and is now abroad,in these few years she changed and mum had a lot of expectations from her, but then my cousin showed her true colours, well in the years i developed interest in a lot of things, i am an excellent cook, i speak 3 foriegn languages - french, italian, spanish and learning chinese now, i run my own business and i take care of the house meaning helping my mum for shopping though my brother pays for the upkeep i take mum every where itoday mum my can't do without me, even when she is sick i have to be her nurse, and today my mother is so proud of me that she will always praisem e infront of everyone. Mithy stop proving yourself to everyone, you are who you are , stop all the negative thinking and do what you are good at, start being positive, your mother has seen a tough life and she is protecting you.
Take everything postive, start being positive and get back to work, it is not necessary to be a topper, i never was a topper still i have succeeded in life i am know all over the world. Focus on what you are good at. your mum is proud of you and loves you. Below is a quote i am giving please read it and think about it, you are NOT A FAILURE. Stop expecting, be independant and strong start to take your own decisions.
WE ARE WHAT WE THINK, ALL THAT WE ARE ARISES WITH OUR THOUGHTS, WE OUR THOUGHTS WE MAKE THE WORLD.

love
alpa:cheers

 

Mithy, you need to start living for YOU. Only pursue something if it's what you want... not just because it will make your fiance or mother or anyone else proud. I know you love your mother, but from an outsiders perspective, what she has done to you really isn't fair. She's the parent, you were the child... she should NOT have been burdening you with her adult marital problems. That was too much for you to handle, and she shouldn't have done it. Also, there are many working women who work AND attend to their kids when they are in hospital, etc.

Stand by your fiance, Mithy. Because it seems he is the only one willing to put time aside from his busy schedule to be there when you need somebody's support.

The fact that you have tried talking to her about your feelings and how her behavior is hurting you, and she throws a fit, indicates she is emotionally manipulating you. That's unhealthy. You have every right to expect to be treated with dignity and support in your own family. Unfortunately, family doesn't always live up to our expectations, even if our expectations are totally basic and reasonable. Since that is the case with you and your mom, like Alpa said... learn to be independent and strong. Stop relying on your mom for anything, because reality is, I don't think you're going to get anything from her. Maybe once you stand on your own and stop relying on her for emotional fulfillment, she will notice your absence and maybe change her ways a little.

Self confidence... will come when YOU believe in YOU. Until then, no amount of degrees will do that for you. It's an internal attitude which you must realize. Good luck girl. :thumbsup

 

Dear Mithy,

I am in favour of Alpa's reply.. You should trust your fiance, live for yourself, take care of your health, don't think much.. It must be a difficult life for your mom when your father does not care for you all, your mom does not want you to suffer in any tough crcumstances of life.. So stop blaming yourself for anything.. You are a good daughter because you love and care for your mom.. Being independent is good and leaving job is not a good idea..

Take care of your health dear..

 

Dear Mithy,
Lots of love and hugs to you. Please do not live for others.Life is too beautiful. Only an engineering degree or MBA will not give you happiness.

In India NO ONE ever enjoys their life.They just want to reach milestones but never enjoy the journey.

We are told" If you get good marks in 10th borad then life is fine"....
"If get good grades in 12th and choose a good college you are fine".....
" If you graduate with good marks you are fine".....
"Set up your career first then you are fine".....
By this time you are 23-24...so
" get married and set up family first".....
" Have children first"....
Now " You have to live for children/husband why are you so selfish so as to think about yourself".....(Maybe ur mother had such a life)

Don't ever let anything get you down. You are perfect as you are...Your mother is bitter in her life,Believe me love is like that to her...she never got it so she cannot give it to you..Just being a mother does not make her lovey dovey.....

Please be who you are...If you prefer to learn something else and not MBA..do so... Try to get into another job..Even a teaching job.Move out of your house and make a life for yourself first and then think about marriage.You have too much baggage to get married now.

Love and prayers..Good Luck.

 

Hi mithy,

Sorry...I just want to share the truth.

Each & every mother does this. (esp ur mother because she knows u r the only one to listen to her)

Education is a lifelong gift, it ll be helpful to u.
If u r really interested, then go for MBA.

U wont believe my parents ( grandparents now) just interfere in our personal matters.
sometimes it really hurts...:rant, but my hus says ( u dont know the value of parents thatswhy u r fighting with them.) to keep quiet, not to fight & listen to them.
u will regret after some years when u really need them. Maybe he is right.:bowdown

I fight with them, still i cant be away from them ( every alternate day i just call them.)
:biglaugh


Anyway be Happy with what u have, Enjoy each & every moment with her. May she is not keeping well...Think abt it :idea


bye
take care
ll Pray for U

 

Mithy,

Hugs to you girl !! I was just like you craving acceptance and recognition from my dad. I tried to excel in everything just to hear a good word from him but that recognition happened very rarely. The result was I got alienated from my dad. You must have read my other read where I wrote a little about my childhood. The fights that my parents had when I was young made me insecure. So I perfectly understand your feelings.

But girl, as tikka advised stop living your life for others. Don't give others the invisible power to run your life. Do something because you are happy doing it. I am 31 and only now am I finding peace with myself. I don't crave anymore for recongition or acceptance. I am just who I am doing what I love to the best of my ability. This gives me peace of mind. I don't feel disappointed if my dad or my boss or my husband does not appreciate me. I just give in my 100% and I live the rest to God.


Accept your mom as she is. Maybe her marriage troubles made her the way she is. You seek support and encouragement from her but she is not mentally strong enough to provide that to you. Stop seeking support from her and living under her shadow.


Regards,
Kavya.

 

cheer up girl!!
you need to give up this baggage and be positive girl. you need to live your life.dont be bogged down you can make it.