What More I Can Do?

The past few days have been incredibly difficult. Words can’t express the fear and helplessness I felt, silently watching over my husband in a hospital room. Thankfully, he's now in good hands and recovering faster than expected.

It all began with a simple stomach discomfort after a heavy Easter dinner. A hospital visit revealed a small gallstone in the neck of his gallbladder. What seemed minor quickly turned into a serious, life-threatening infection. Two weeks of uncertainty followed, ending in emergency surgery and the insertion of a drainage tube. He’s recovering well, and the tube will soon be removed.

This experience reminded me how vital a strong support system is. My sister and brother-in-law were by my side, cooking, helping, and just being there. My mother took charge at home, ensuring my kids stayed focused on their exams. My brother managed things in our hometown and travelled back and forth to visit. Friends constantly checked in, referred us to good doctors, and lifted our spirits.

But what hurt most was witnessing my husband at his most vulnerable, especially in ICU and longing for the very people he had distanced himself from for the sake of our marriage. Years ago, I gave him an ultimatum to choose between his family or our peace, after enduring years of interference and emotional drain. He chose us, and only then did our marriage begin to heal and grow.

Yet in that fragile moment, he missed them, especially his mother and brothers. I supported him to reconnect. He called them, and while his first brother responded politely and visited briefly, their involvement ended there. His mother never followed up after that single call. No message. No concern. His other brother from abroad just sent a "Get well soon" whatsapp message.
The only brother who visited us in the hospital also caused discomfort by interfering and commanding on what he should be eating etc and mindlessly checking what my BIL offered. That's all, after which he didn't even bothered.

Still, he defends them. He says they show love differently. And that makes me quietly furious; not at them, but at the pain it causes him, and the loyalty he still carries.

This is our 20th year together—15 of them as husband and wife. His family, who once neglected him, suddenly became affectionate after our marriage knowing our bank balance, and pulled away again when I took control of our finances. That distance brought us strength, stability, and unity. But frankly, they had a great time when our marriage sulked.

Now he misses them again. This made him resent whatever we do for him. Our efforts, the love, the sacrifices for him and all goes unseen and he only misses his folks. And honestly—I don't know what more I can do.

Of course he did not say anything openly, but his body language and words make me feel really bad.

 

Thank you @Rihana, @wish4miracle, and @Viswamitra sir for your thoughtful responses.
Yes, emotions are running high for us right now. The past two weeks have taken a toll. We’ve been through so much and are still in the process of emotionally recovering from this ordeal. So, I can truly understand what might be going through his mind at this moment. As @wish4miracle rightly pointed out, even a small gesture from his family, like a call or a WhatsApp message could feel overwhelmingly significant to him right now.
I think I’ll wait a bit longer, let the dust settle, and give him the space to heal. Hopefully, he will move past this phase with grace and we can return to our usual life together.
Still, a small part of me can’t help but worry about the “what ifs,” especially considering everything we’ve already been through in our marriage.
I am no longer the dependent, fragile version of myself who feared outside interference. But I also know, deep down, that his family never truly loved him. Expecting anything genuine or good to come from reconnecting with them seems unrealistic.
They mistreated him when he had nothing. Yet, when he gained stability, (largely through our marriage) they suddenly became affectionate and tried to control his life. And when he lost control over the family finances and had to cut back on support due to our own serious family needs, they were the ones who chose to walk away.
Now, they may very well remain distant, knowing there’s no financial gain in reconnecting. Or they might exploit his current vulnerability and health issues to manipulate their way back in.
Either scenario leaves me feeling the need to stay extremely cautious. Honestly, it’s exhausting. It sometimes feels like I’m married to a man whose past never truly lets us be at peace, and I live with a constant fear, not just of losing him, but of losing everything we’ve built together.