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What makes you and your dh content/not content with this life of yours???

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by meena2, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. meena2

    meena2 Senior IL'ite

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    Once, we get married we start planning on so many things for our life ahead. I guess only at retirement you can say whether you managed to make all of it, some of it or none of it.
    But, we all know " Desire is the main cause of sorrow', the more we WANT something (material happiness), the more we invite sorrow into our life by trying to get it and encountering numerous failures on the way. But again that does not mean we give up either. Do we ever??
    It depends on how much is enough for one. For some however much is not enough, while others are content with little.

    Our story...DH and I.
    We have a decent living and although we do not have so many luxuries that other friends or colleagues have but we somehow do not get the thought that we really really badly WANT something in our life. There are some general things that people associate satisfaction and happiness in life with like fat pay check, house, car, daily luxuries and so many material things. If we see our current situation then we have only few of them. We do not own a house and I can never understand some people especially women telling me owning a house brings a sense of belonging and completes their life. Similarly, I have heard about X amount of $$ as ideal balance, X brand of car as the BEST one to have and no matter what it takes but aim to own it etc etc.....

    Anyway, tell me about you and your dh???
    What makes you feel think 'you are' OR 'you are not' fully content with your life.......you and your dh together??



    Meena
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2010
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  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Meena,

    My husband is not content in that he's been doing good at his job, yet his boss is making it hard for him to get promoted, because she doesn't want him to move on (i.e. she doesn't want the trouble of finding his replacement). This carrot and stick game has been going on for him at work and it's really frustrating. Anyways, after April he is going to talk to his boss's boss because the big boss is looking to promote some people, so he feels his chances are better by talking directly to the higher ups. It would mean more money and more job security, which would satisfy us a lot in terms of standard of living.

    I'm still in school, but I feel once I get a job, I'll also feel more content.

    I'll also feel like 'wow, this is great', when we buy our first house together and set up our permanent home (probably next year!!!).

    In other avenues, there's still some personal aspects I would like to work on with my dh. Like the other night I brought up something that was important to me and he just laughed at me and brushed it off. That hurt because he was not even willing to understand my feelings. So I feel I would be more content if he could think about what 'i want' and not just what he wants, and not trivialize my feelings. He had been drinking though and was getting ready to go to sleep when I brought up this issue, so maybe he was not in the right frame of mind... will bring it up tonight and let him know that the way he handled it hurt me (who knows, maybe this issue will show up in a new post of mine, so stay tuned :bonk).

    Also, I will be content when my inlaws die. Sorry that sounds morbid, but it's the absolute truth. I really can't wait until my mil is gone forever... and a sadistic part of me really wants to see my sil suffer and cry when she finds out that her nasty mom/or dad is dead. She is obsessed with them and always bullies me into everything, so I can't wait to see one situation in her life come up that she can't control or bully her way out of. I guess I should probably keep those kind of thoughts to myself, but oh well, there it is. That's how I feel.
     
  3. meena2

    meena2 Senior IL'ite

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    I wanted to tell one thing here. Do not bring it up as soon as he returns from work. If you want to talk something serious and want him to give an ear the best time would be after dinner but before bedtime. Usually, on hungry stomach not everyone will have the patience and energy to give a thought to what you are coming up with......JMO! and this is what I have been doing.
    By the time your dh returns clean the house a little (don't go overboard and stress yourself) with fresh smelling scented oil/incense or some other thing, make good dinner and let him have his stomach full and then only open your mouth with your matter.... ....:thumbsup
    All this set up will make him more relaxed and he will be in a better position to see what you are saying.
    Hope this works for you. Even I learned these tricks recently....:biggrin2:
    So far going good......:)


    I have read in so many of your posts about your really intolerable inlaws and their cruel behavior.
    You are not wrong in thinking like this. Any one in your position would wish for the same but you were honest enough to come up accepting how you feel about them....so don't feel SORRY that you got this thought or you feel this way.........:exactly:.......They deserve only that for treating you like dirt all these days.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2010
  4. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Hey Meena.... you are right about not bringing this up when he comes home from work. Thanks for reminding me of this. :thumbsup But I've lost my chance to bring it up tonight anyways, because my dh has to work late soooo I was thinking today might not be the most opportune time. Guess I'll just have to wait tomorrow. I will follow your tips and see how it goes. :)
     

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