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What kind of hubby is this????

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sridivya, Jan 12, 2010.

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  1. jyothic

    jyothic New IL'ite

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    It all depends on person to person and family to family.
    As long as you and your family (DH, kids) are happy what else you need in life.

    As per me you have perfect family. I have some of my relatives who are well educated, but dumb in ALL other activities. They perform well in their jobs/work/studies but when come to family life, kids, taking responsibilities they are zero. That's why we call MADE FOR EACH OTHER.
     
  2. LemonLime

    LemonLime Senior IL'ite

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    Hi there,
    10 years of marriage before you have thought of this!
    Wow, you must have led a very busy life! :)

    What made you suddenly come to think of this? Was it a comment or a suggestion by a friend, in-law or family member?

    It sounds like your husband trusts you alot to do all these things.
    He lets you have all the responsibilities to do these things because he trusts you, it seems.
    It also seems to be he has placed so much trust in you he has started to be a little - how to put it without coming across as rude - a bit lazy?
    But again it is 10 years of such a solid routine, of course he won't see anything bad in it.
    I personally don't see anything wrong with it - it seems like he allows you the responsibility of all things domestic, even important matters.
    For a husband to defer to his wife this way it shows a respect and that he is confident and comfortable to rely on such a responsible, dutiful and capable wife.

    That sounds like a good thing, doesn't it?


    Sometimes when a man sees that someone is capable of doing something, or that things are going so well he lets things be the way they are.
    Sort of like why guys will not be romantic after a while of marriage because he has become comfortable in the routine and that things seem to be going well so no reminder or need to change things.

    If you feel that your husband should once in a while take initiative in surprising you or handling matters for a change you can bring it up and say he plan one weekend and it can't involve staying home.
    Ask him to surprise you.

    Regardless, if he has been dutiful and faithful on his part as a husband and you yours as a wife, perhaps the only thing you must be wondering under this question is that you are seeking some spontaneity and difference in these 10 years of marriage!

    Perhaps you can ask him to make a list of all the nice things to do/places to go he can think of, write it on a piece of paper, number them, cut it out, make a dice with these options, assign a weekend where he gets to do the decision making, let him roll the dice and voila!
    Instant decision suggested by him!

    Try to embrace your husbands' quirks and turn it into something positive! I'm sure it will be a fun new project for the both of you to work on.

    You've both been working hard, it seems from what you have written, maybe its just time both of you let your hair down instead of passing the baton. :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
  3. sridivya

    sridivya New IL'ite

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    Maybe.........:)

    Thanks Rosegirl

    True, very true. I am anyway not complaining....:biggrin2:
    Thanks natpudan.

    One more chore in my to-do list......eh???....just kidding!!:rotfl
    Thanks Gijoe.


    Agreed, Jyothic. No reason to complain!
    Thanks

    Thanks lemon.
    Yes, it was friends comments and sometimes inlaws especially MIL's remarks behind my back, that made me think maybe I am overdoing and even doing his part and kind of appeared to outsiders as though I am dominating and not considering his choice at all. I brought this up with dh and he says you are imagining things and if I am bothered I will express and don't care for what others think.
    I wanted to also have ILites opinion on this. You are right, the perfectionist nature of mine made dh kind of lazy too. Again it is not entirely his fault. I really am happy if things are done my way, not that I am indifferent to other's opinions but I think and also it has been proven so many times my plans work out well, atleast better than others. Hey! I am not bragging, just telling you the facts....:wink:
    I get pissed out when my friends plan on doing something together this day and next day I am all set for it and they are like
    'where, what , let's see'?:notthatway:
    I am such a stickler of my to-do list that nothing slips by unnoticed. Even when I was working, my office work, family work were all catergorised and that made life less hectic than others. I never felt the pressure of job/office work and my kids were babies then.
    Sometimes dh suddenly remembers something that has already been taken care of last month!! Maybe, that is why dh has given up!:biglaugh
     
  4. LemonLime

    LemonLime Senior IL'ite

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    Lol, I do have a bit of that too.
    Especially the part about the friends deciding on doing something together and they are like that too - omg it annoys me alot.

    And ditto on the to-do-list!

    But then again, after you have explained this bit to me, perhaps it is good that your DH is quite laid back in the sense he lets you do the work.
    Perhaps he thinks that if he does it he'll just mess it up anyway... :)

    Besides, both your opposing natures seem to complement one another - one perfectionist, one laid back and trusting fellow...
    Two bulls with horns will lock and never see eye to eye! So perhaps it works out very well that way.

    Let people talk.
    My view is that if people aren't talking bad about you, you're probably doing something wrong. LOL.
    When people envy what you have they will try to make it easier on themselves by putting in comments or teasing.
    I would take it as a good thing that the in-laws are jabbering on behind your back - most in-laws get intimidated by a capable DIL because having a
    'submissive' DIL is desirable so they can intimidate/oppress/manipulate/order her around using her husband or just directly dealing with her.
    So maybe just take it as a compliment that they are making comments.

    Maybe nicely tell them that their son is so wonderful because he trusts you to take care of him. ;)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 19, 2010
  5. BZmom

    BZmom New IL'ite

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    Hi, I am new to IL and this is my first reply to a post. I can totally understand your situation and I am wondering, in all these if you really feel loved by your DH and how does he show it? I think all the house wives, here in the US of A are pretty much in the same boat.
     
  6. magicstick

    magicstick Junior IL'ite

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    I wud say....... puurrrrrfect hubby. I wud luv to be in ur position since mine is totally contrast of urs.... my hubby tks all decisions and thinks he is right everywhere.... he hardly tks any advise or consent from me....:drowning and some times i feel, m i a puppet or dummy or what...... grrrrWitsend
     
  7. rnair

    rnair Silver IL'ite

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    sri,
    i think you are a very organised and systematic person and your husband brings out the best in your abilities.
    i thinks its really great since you manage things well and he is quite supportive of it.
    darling, forget what other ppl have to say..they are secretly very jealous of you :)
    when my hubby asked me the first time to get the oil change for the vehicle, i was stumped.oil change ...yikes..
    but i enjoyed it and felt special doing it.
    my friends were like, its a guys job ... lazy husbands...
    but it doesn't matter.i think this is how we become capable and proficient.

    keep rocking sri and enjoy it.
    these kind of hubbies are not very common and we are the lucky ones :p

    take care!
     
  8. Dhaanika

    Dhaanika Gold IL'ite

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    Its an old thread everyone, let's not revive them when the OP is no longer actively posting on their thread. Thanks.
     
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