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What Kind Of Cheating It Is...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mahathibhaskar, Apr 2, 2022.

  1. mahathibhaskar

    mahathibhaskar Senior IL'ite

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    No ma.....Its clear sexting.... I dont want to go into much details here in a public online form but will give you few hints. The lady is giving her measur****s and decribing how his H**d should G***e and run through t**m. In rather poetic way...She also decribing her re*****n to him..Stupid lady...My blood boiling even to describe it. How one woman can do this to other i don't know....the level of audacity.
     
    1Sandhya likes this.
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Is it so complicated?

    Make it clear to the sender of the messages that your spouse is also reading their messages. If the sender persists, use the "Block number" option.
     
    mahathibhaskar likes this.
  3. mahathibhaskar

    mahathibhaskar Senior IL'ite

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    Poor girl this is one word she prayed not to listen .....she is devastated...I am feeling so bad for her. She is saying never in her 16 years of married life he did something like it...its exactly opposite to his own beliefs and views on marriage and love. As far as I know...He is really decent man..this is shocking to believe even. are there any other reasons(I know I need to ask this to her but not you ladies here) you guys may guess for this behaviour. I strongly believe this to be out of his character as far as I know.
     
  4. mahathibhaskar

    mahathibhaskar Senior IL'ite

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    Right now she was blocked. But my friend has her number. was it wiser on her part to send warning message to her. I dont personally liked the idea..becoz its her husband who need to be faithful to her not the other lady. I am not supporting the other lady..but i think it becomes more murkier if she messages her. I told my friend if she wants to warn her and her husband as such that she saved all the messages in screen shots and next time if she does that again she will post all these screenshots in all the mutual groups and make a big banners out of them and hang them infront of her school.
     
  5. radhe001

    radhe001 Senior IL'ite

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    Op, one can not control what others do. They will do what they want to do in their favor. Right or Wrong its in their favor and what makes them feel good. Its truth. What your friend can do is see what is important. If she want a peaceful family she should stop focusing on this matter, stop givving much importance to this matter or that lady and just focus on her relation with husband. It's sounds harsh but she can not stop him...if she makes him block he will have her get a Google number or other app installed so they can continue...stoping or not stopping is totally up to him....and he is determined to continue no matter what he will continue. If I keeps on asking questions, stops taking to husband and all will only push him away from her. His connection with other lady is independent of his connection with wife. He having emotions on other will not lessen his emotional bonding with wife...two different connections though (not acceptable) in current marriage laws......but my point is "she is has zero control"...if she tries to talk with other lady or threaten her, her husband will not like it and he will distance away from wife. As its not other ladies intrest alone its his interest and is mutual between him and other. Only solution is "ignore" or "get separated". I would say "ignore". No lady would like to share her husband emotionally or physically with other....but if you see in olden days there was polygamy even today its practiced in some countries.....let's take example of "krishna" when he married "satya bhama" Rukmini was not even asked for her approval...He got married without her concent. And eventually Rukmini accepted...krishna once said to Rukmini..."if you accept me, you should accept my interest as well and only with acceptance my love for you grows.
    .if she did not accept his free will he would only distance him self from her".......My point is.....you friend if she wants can ignore and accept what it is....she will have cordial relation with her husband. If she questions he will only distance and do what he wants to do any way.............or "her only choice other wise would be to simply stop talking to him and walk away from this relationship".......nothing done by force will help her.
     
  6. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Leaving the reference to Krishna, everything else you mentioned is correct. Lord Krishna had purpose towards universe, it boils my blood when some men use his name to justify their wrongdoings. Whose life are they improving by indulging? Which kingdom are they ruling? Whose honor did they save? Nothing towards you @radhe001, but taking God's name to carry out such despicable acts is not good. Yes, @mahathibhaskar , tell your friend to brace herself. Blocking/warning will only make it worse.
     
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  7. radhe001

    radhe001 Senior IL'ite

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    What I meant hear by mentioning Lord Krishna is "acceptance is key to peace" .....as we have less control over what others do. If she chooses to live in this marriage she should not constantly live (with out peace)....or if she can not accept at any terms "separation from him" will only becomes a solution.
     
  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    More than solution, it will become the way out ( God forbid) if both cannot compromise. The reason I felt upset is recently a famous actor was asked about his numerous relationships and he carelessly said "If Lord Krishna can do it, why can't I?" - he claims he is an Atheist on one hand and at the same time taking Krishna's name to justify his lust and lack of self control. Very pathetic.
     
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  9. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    It is one thing to show all your frustation and anger on the husband but doing it to the lady will just backfire on your friend. I believe the husband is quite now because only the three of them know the reality now. Once your friend makes it public or drags the other lady through mud, trust me, the husband will take the side of his crush saying you made her name bad, made her look bad and ruined her life and he will consider himself to the only person who can save her and your friend will end up losing her life.

    The best way to move forward is asking her ot first calm down. Take up yoga or meditation or reach out to some counsellors who can help her calm down.

    Once she is calm enough, ask her to re-assess if she is ok taking her husband back and forgiving him for what he did. It is very hard to forgive a breach of trust twice but she has to be able to do that if she wants to live her life with him.

    When she is in that mindset of accepting him and forgiving him for what he did, she should start trying to reach out to him and be more open to him and make him open up. It would be great if she and her husband have a rational discussion about the why's and what's of his behaviour not in a way in which he feels cornered but in such a way where he feels bad for doing all that he did.
     
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  10. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    OP do not take this wrong way, but i think it is time to close this thread. Why, because you have got great responses, but now it is at a point where the person affected can only evaluate the inputs and provide inputs.

    also there is no right or wrong way. you can say or talk for hours to her, what she wants or decides she has to do.
     

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