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What Is Your Reaction When Your Family Wont Respect/ Care Your Spouse?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by BeautifulSmile, Dec 3, 2019.

  1. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    "which I dont want to happen" - you reflected what a supportive wife is under the circumstances.
     
    BeautifulSmile likes this.
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    So, if the girl's parents are not treating the husband well, his wife should question the parents about their love for her.

    But if the guys mother is not treating the wife well, the wife should be supportive under the circumstance.

    It is amusing how big the advice is when you thought the trouble maker was the girl's parent and the change in stance when you realise the troublemaker is the guys mother.

    .....................
    Op..you need to work this out with the husband.
    If not today...then someday you need to work this out .
    Just ignoring or trying to forget doesn't get you peace of mind. Getting heard and finding some kind of resolution to the problem gets peace of mind.

    As for her comments, you should have told her you feel the same about her.Don't worry about a bad person's comment but do discuss with your husband how you are treated in your own house.

    If the mil can't treat you like the lady of the house should be treated ,then why does she get to visit your house for six months ....to treat you bad. Discuss with the husband why she should not spend more time with the favourite son and dil.
    There are no consequences to her illtreatment, that is why she gets away with it.

    You won't get anything fighting with her.
    Talk to your husband and tell him she can't spend such long periods at your marital home if she is not willing to treat you well. Period.
    He will find a way .
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2019
  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Same vice versa .
    A true loving husband has to support his wife if she is being insulted, abused by his parents
     
    BeautifulSmile and yellowmango like this.
  4. Agathinai

    Agathinai Silver IL'ite

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    It’s both ways. Both families should treat their spouses with dignity. Often I find the daughter in law being ill treated and husbands not voicing out this issue. That’s the source of all trouble. Mostly the son in law doesn’t encounter such situations in their spouse home. Maybe that’s the reason they don’t feel guilty about how their own family is ill treating the wife. Not that I am advocating same; just thinking why it’s taken too mildly when the daughter in law is being treated like that by her in laws. Time is changing but still needs to change more.
     
  5. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    In a true loving marriage, believe it or not husband is very protective of his wife. Not in front of wife, but, when he is alone, he will disapprove his mother's behavior.

    Besides, majority of the times, the difficult relation is between two women - MIL & DIL.
    Most of the time SIL gets along with MIL.

    To have an enjoyable time irrespective of whether it is SIL/DIL must be treated with respect. With the changing time, that will happen.

    My friend's mother did not get along with 3 of her DILs; but she would treat her one DIL like her daughter. When asked she would say that she acts like a daughter; doesn't make a big deal of things like other DILs. Other DILs would say that this DIL can get away saying things that if they say would end up in a fight. The truth was that this particular DIL knew about the situation and somehow managed to handle her MIL in a positive way.

    Sometimes, even a difficult MIL can be handled by a smart DIL.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2019
    lavani likes this.

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