What Is The Required Criteria To Be Respected?

Can I answer from the heart sparkle??

I have been on both sides be it working woman or SAHM.


For me,I really would like to be a SAHM and also not be questioned about it.I cannot talk for other ladies but as a SAHM,I do have very busy days and I do have some relaxing days.I have a habit of going to gym almost everyday or Zumba and once or twice a week for grocery.sometimes target,mall so taking all those into consideration out of six hours my child goes to preschool,I have only 3 hours time where I complete my household duties,cooking,cleaning ,laundary etc.Since am home,I also cook elaborate meals.I enjoy all this a lot!!!!it makes me busy BUT...

I am not respected by inlaws and few other relatives coz I do not earn money.They keep telling free loader,free time,idle maiden that and this and one even crossed the limit calling me a gold digger..those things are very painful to hear but I do what I want to do.

Sorry to digress but at today's day and age if you want to be respected from others view you need to earn money and working outside is only considered as real work.Being very honest.

No matter how much we talk about it,a woman working outside is considered superior By the society.you may be brilliant and smart enough to work outside but the world needs proof

 

I guess it's not both. It's money that is respected. That's all the world wants to know.
I know a group of women. One of them is the SAHW of a well placed person and rich as it literally means. Even if she writes the dumbest joke in the whatsapp group, people put smileys and emojis and sweet talk and encourage her. There is another in the group, not very well to do and she is working, mainly to meet the family's needs. She is just there in the group, no one acknowledges anything she says. Reason is she doesn't earn that much, a low paying job.

Whether we are working or not, the first thing is we should respect ourselves and our decisions. Don't expect any respect from anyone. If you are respected, reciprocate. If you are not, leave it,limit interaction with that person.

 

Even I have noticed this..why are people buttering up a rich person?Mu ex friend is super rich and one of the main reasons I got out of the friendship is she expects me to be a sidekick and wants me to compliment her a lot.She gets 100 likes in fb and the way people praise her it is enough to think she is the queen.If 100 likes are not enough,she questioned me why I did not like her pic

Anyways why do the ladies try to butter up rich ladies??how does t benefit them I never know

 

Sad but true, there is always a criteria to respect some one, we would say respect elders because of age, age is criteria there. Respect in-laws, the criteria is relationship. But sadly there is no such criteria that a woman should be respected unless certain other conditions/criteria are satisfied such as one who works respected than SAHM and one who is rich SAHM respected a little more than a low paid working woman.

Same happens with Men too, the guy who is earning more is respected in a society compared to a low earning man. If you take a joint family, the son who earns more will have a say in the family matters (but im sure there are many exceptions too, but that would be off topic here).

Why can't we respect a woman as such, be her a SAHM or working woman both of them working hard for their family or older woman who already contributed so much to their family and are in their old age? why cant we respect single mom's who single handed taking care of their kids without any ones support?

I totally agree with that, we have to respect our selves first and don't expect the same from others. You may be disappointed.

 

If wife prefers and husband happily agrees, she can SAH or work. But if someone feeds us and think that they have rights to hurt us by any means [ emotionally, physically or financially] just because they provide us food, clothes and shelter, SAH is not advisable as it is not only staying at home but also staying without self respect and staying with abuse. People and Situation change over time. SAH or Working has all +ves and -ves and it depends on the person's situation.
It is not true that all working women are respected for the money they earn and contribute to family in addition to taking care of DH/DS/DD/inlaws. There are many working wives who give their money, work like a slave and still abused.

 

On a lighter note:-
For some men/IL, whether SAH or working, just being wife/DIL itself is a criteria to be disrespected.

 

We all live in a setup of society where women are believed to have superpowers. Like literally.. “Super Women”. I say this because, that’s the set of standard expectation (Minimum) from every women. They are expected to work their asses off, at home, outside home, for husband, kids, relatives, acquaintances & it goes on.

Irrespective of being educated or not, working or not, these expectations don’t change. Someone who is not working is expected to work at home, take care of “EVERYTHING” at home/ related to home. Someone working outside is expected to manage work as well as home. No one is spared here.

I feel terrible about the whole concept of the way we are treated. I have been on both the phrases. When I wasn’t working, people would always pester me with questions on my job search. Now tht i am working; I am pestered about the way I should manage home. Phew!!!

I have understood and learnt that people are never satisfied no matter what you do, how hard you work. You are still being judged, being watched, being disrespected or not recognized for your efforts. Accordingly to most of them, everything a woman does is a part of her “Duty” and nothing more!

Your question on criteria to be respected – Respect is always earned and not demanded.

One should/must be respected for the kind of individual he/she is, not based on Race/Caste/Money/Anything else. Women in specific must never allow anyone to disrespect their individuality or existence. So those judging eyes & mindset of people are always hungry for more & never satisfied, no matter what criteria you come up with.

Pathway to happiness is to chuck them! And live your life! Your self respect defines everything you get

 

Not from society's perspective. People don't think like this atleast in Asian context. Well, as have told money and status dictates such things. To be more realistic it is not the working aspect which is taken into account, mostly the status is the one that dictates such things. If a SAHW is from a wealthier family, none in her friends of relatives circle belittle her mainly because of the strong financial background. It mostly affects the middle class and lower income group only. Thoughts ingrained over generations are hard to be erased!

As above, the society pressure etc.

----------------------------------

Generally SAHW tend to have a good relationship with kids and vice versa. It is definitely more relaxing to have peaceful mindset and hence focus on the family. Focusing on kids education becomes a priority for her. This is just simple mathematics, more time you have at hand, more time you spend on kids and family issues.

I am not saying that working mothers don't do it, but the time does matter in them. We cannot be there when kids fall sick, and the spouses should have better understanding for it to occur. If the whole burden of cooking etc as well working outside falls on the female, it does affect her physical and mental health. No way a wife can manage both ends as well as concentrate on kids studies if one doesn't have a good understanding partner.

I had been both working and SAHW and I am fully aware of the benefits of both. But the most important aspect I feel retrospectively is that the kids benefit a lot when atleast one of the partner is available in their younger age. As they grow up they are more independent. The fundamental base should be strong enough for them lay the future blocks of life. For that one partner need to do sacrifice, this is more in western countries with little support from extended families or the facility to have more household help.

 

There is no particular criteria to get respect.. five fingers are not same,each individual is unique..
I am not here to debate which is better.. it is each individual personal choice. However I disagree with most of you here saying working women get respect solely because they earn money.. what about their achievement? Their struggle to form identity in their field? I know lot of women( middle class)who do have good name.. dedicate their part of their saving to social service, definitely not rich.. but still are hugely respected in the society.. it takes lot effort and hard work not only to concentrate on ur own family.. but to think about people around you..
Working people may be praised also becoz.. ppl think they manage both.. home and office duties. Some are good at balancing both.. why take money matter while totally disregard passion,hard work, effort of an individual.
However I don't mean to say that stay at home ladies are not doing any of these,. They are equally great too.. I just want present my opinion saying working women don't get respect only becoz they earn money!! Period
As someone above rightly has pointed out whether it is working or stay at home., women are considered to portray a super women aura.. she should know everything.. Women like indira nooyi couldn't escape such stereotypes
Unpaid labor of stay at home are unnoticed ..working women if even she brings money ppl might still comment.. it is less. Ppl might disrespect her professional choice or her field.. so in both choices it is going to happen
There is no one size fits all answer for this.. I just want to say that we must respect ourselves first.