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What is the real meaning of marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kcb, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    A good relationship will be characterized by LIFE - love, intimacy, friendship and empathy - all natural and genuine. Then there is no compelling need to complete it with a marriage for whatever reasons, for it will only spoil it.

    A marriage, on the other hand, is by definition, practice and experience more defined and compelled by law, custom, tradition - everything artificial fuelled by need for guarantees and security. The essential qualities of a good marital relationship is defined more by "woulds and shoulds" and by tonnes of counseling and guidance books! A chance of it turning into a good relationship (LIFE) is more of a lottery.

    An ideal natural relationship has 'life' while an artificially concocted relationship (marital) is more likely to die sooner than later.
     
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  2. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    A marriage today which is more commercial with very selfish motives cannot sustain. The very need for marriage is born out of subconscious insecurity and lack of trust i.e., need for guarantee. Hence the increasing rate of divorces and separations. Also characterised by delayed marriages. And among those remaining married many are left dissatisfied, unhappy and trapped.

    Hence we may safely conclude that marriage as of today is losing its meaning, if it had any, or, it may have already lost it. So evolution is the order of the day!! Unless we evolve there is no escape from the decaying institution of marriage.

    PS:
    I read this on the net:
    I read an article about marriages in big cities. In these marriages, too much money is spent on food and entertainment. Brides and bidegrooms look cheerful. But many of such marriages end up in divorce within few days or months for various reasons.

    Most people marry not because they love. They marry because of loneliness and there is pressure from family. Even in love marriages, love disappears very soon and life becomes full of conflicts, boredom, mechanical routine with no newness, freshness. Some people can continue to live this way for the sake of children. Marriage becomes a prison in which there is physical security but no happiness and love.
    Krishnamurti wrote letters to a young woman friend who was going through a kind of hell in her marriage. This letter ,which he wrote many years ago, describes what happens in most marriages -
    " What a thing is relationship, and how easily we fall into that habit of a particular relationship, things are taken for granted, the situation accepted and no variation tolerated; no movement towards uncertainty, even for a second entertained. Everything is well regulated, so made secure, so tied down, that there is no chance for any freshness, for a clear reviving breath of spring. This and more is called relationship......
    It is the quality of freshness, of newness, that is essential; otherwise life becomes a routine, a habit; and love is not a habit, a boring thing. Most people have lost all sense of wonderment. They take everything for granted, this sense of security destroys freedom and wonderment of uncertainty. "
    Without wisdom and freedom, which come from understanding the nature of the self, it is very difficult to live happily either in aloneness or in marriage.
    Happiness which comes from outside (from possessing people and material things) does not last long. One has to create happiness within oneself and then it can be shared with anyone who comes close just like a flower which radiates its beauty and fragrance.


     
  3. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Nandita, I agree with you...

    That is the reason behind this thread, - people to understand the real meaning of marriage (without having selfish motives or making it a commercial business).
     
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  4. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    It is interesting that a marriage is really required because of innate selfishness. They are made for each other and cannot live without each other.
     
  5. Jacky

    Jacky New IL'ite

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    Marriage is a balancing act.:)
     
  6. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    The intentions are laudable, but it is all the other aspects of marriage and the many restrictions within the definition of marriage which work and weigh heavily against human nature, that causes all the problems.

    If just the relationship alone is taken into consideration, as it should be, in the natural way, then no problem. The problem is the marriage. Or rather the very act of marriage is the issue here.

    The noble intentions and the act of marriage cancel out each other as they are mutually contradictory in practice. Hence the conflict!
     
  7. dineshsrawat

    dineshsrawat New IL'ite

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    The real meaning of marriage is a good understanding between both. Avoiding mistakes, lots of love and care for each other.

    For me this is the real meaning of marriage.
     
  8. molisa666

    molisa666 New IL'ite

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    i am not married but i feel marraige is wonderful and completeness in life
     
  9. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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  10. shobhamma

    shobhamma Gold IL'ite

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    15 Disturbing Truths About Marriages You Never Want To Hear
    1. Who answers the doorbell will probably lead to more fights than anything else
    2. The sex really slows down after just one year of marriage. And eventually diminishes!
    3. One of the partners in the marriage will outlive the other.
    4. You’ll soon tend to lose your individuality.
    5. And you’ll start to think alike eventually, whether you like it or not.
    6. You can never have the same love for your in-laws as you have for your real family members.
    7. The very things which you used to find adorable in your spouse will start to annoy you the most.
    8. No matter how perfect your marriage is, on somedays you’ll think that you’d have been better off if you hadn’t gotten married at all.
    9. If you thought taking permission to go out from your parents was tough, try marriage!
    10. It’s not something you can just opt out of just like that.
    11. Someone’s company 24X7 can annoy the crap out of you!
    12. It takes two committed people to make a marriage work. But it takes only one to end it.
    13. Happily ever after is a myth.
    14. It is the biggest gamble of your life and there’s no guarantee if you’ll sail through it.
    15. It’s actually neither a bed of roses, nor a way full of thorns. It’s almost boring yet comforting.
    Source : Explore Quotes[/QUOTE]


    These are true for ANY relationship.
     

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