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What is the opposite of "Respect"?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, May 17, 2015.

  1. Scorpio707

    Scorpio707 Platinum IL'ite

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    Satchi,

    You teach German?? That's awesome....Coming to the post, when I read the title I said -opposite of respect-disrespect easy :-D

    But definitely a different one this is...but gosh this one pierced me - "Girls these days! They have no respect for their husbands. They refer to them as nee" I call my DH like that in Tamil :hide: but for me it's because I considered this as formal "Vanga,Ponga,Neenge etc etc . The "go" ge" gu" was not appealing, so I happily call him with nick names, vaa, nee n all :mrgreen: . I think it's each one's perception...somehow
     
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  2. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    This is interesting.. I have never given a thought abt this... I call my father neega, mother as nee vaa poma etc... While my DH always call both his parents neenga vaanga ponga only... Now that I realise this, I feel bit guilty. Will try to correct myself because my mother deserves that respect too. Curious to know how she might react! I think it happened because I am closer to my mother, she was always there as my father was working away most of my childhood years & ours was a telephone based relationship until I was in college. Our relationship lacked the closeness that I shared with my mother & hence it turned bit formal with neenga I think....

    Also.... yes you r right abt this gen couples addressing themselves vada podi kind. Guilty again... Even worse, while I call my H vada poda basis I donot let him call me vadi podi as the feminist in me gets ferocious & feel like thrashing his head... What a hypocrite am!! This post is like double face palm for me, I cannot be anymore honest here!

    Am sorry if my post sound silly, just sharing what I felt..
     
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  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Enjoyed reading this JAG. :-D

    All my uncles and aunts, grandparents on mom's side (never got to see the ones on dad's side) have always been "neengal". That had nothing to do with respect or the lack of it for any individual. It was more of conditioning and being expected to. No other form would have been accepted. Like you said in your second post, it also did not mean that it was despite a lack of respect. Respect was largely dependent on the individual concerned.
     
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  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Scorpio, after that lecture from the gmil, I asked BH whether he would like my addressing him as vaango-pongo etc. Told him I would touch his feet every morning if he so wished it. :rotfl I asked him what he thought of the proposition. He told me he would be deeply worried and take me to the hospital for a brain scan!
     
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  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi kaniths,

    There is nothing silly about stating your opinions here. :-D
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    I addressed both my father and mother as "Née" but the way I converse with my mom is different than my dad. The closeness I had with my mom made me feel more relaxed. Even I called my uncles and aunts (mother's brothers and sisters) as "Née" and by their first name. They all treated me like brother or son depending on their respective age. My wife got a sticker shock when we got married and considered that very disrespectful as in her family, all elders are addressed "Neenga". Both of us have the same level of affection for our aunts, uncles and parents but we addressed them differently. My wife is 8 years younger to me but always address me by name or nickname.

    I think sometimes addressing in singular or by name shows the closeness of a relationship. Honestly, if my wife were to address me in any other way, I won't feel the proximity and feel loved. More than anything, the fact that she understands my mind makes me feel very comfortable. Despite my flaw of addressing all my relatives in singular, my wife and I never forget to take the blessings of each one of them by prostrating to them.

    I believe respect is demonstrated in not how we address them but how we treat them.

    Viswa
     
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  7. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely Viswa ..... and that is just what I am trying to make my students understand. That the way we address a person does not necessarily have to do with respect/disrespect as with closeness and formality/informality. Probably we are culturally ingrained with these concepts to such an extent that many of us don't stop to analyze what we say ever. Addressing the mother in the singular does not mean we don't have respect for her or for that matter even a child. I am still trying to understand the word "respect" as it is used. As you say actions speak louder than words. Many people put on a show of great regard and respect for someone and then the moment that person's back is turned they foul mouth them so badly.
     
  8. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    A very interesting read Satchi. The fbs to your post are equally thought-provoking.

    While I have utmost respect for my parents, I call them only 'nee', 'vaa'. Somehow can't bring myself to say 'amma or appa neenga vaango'. On the other hand, I always addressed my Uncle (a second father to me) as 'neenga'. Does this mean I respected him more than my Dad? Or loved him less than my Dad? Neither, I have to say. Then why the difference in communication to my Dad and Uncle???

    I don't know Satchi. At 8 am in the morning with only one cup of coffee down my throat so far, I am afraid I am unable to do anymore research about this. :rotflDo enlighten me if you have the answers.
     
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  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Meena, my dear friend, you don't need any more enlightenment. You have answered your own question before even asking it! :-D
     
  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Satchi, for relations which the "plural" is used in India it is always a "du" for parents grandparents etc in German. In French they used he more formal vous until the early 20 th century for such relations but it has been replaced by tu" or "tum". Even in England until the early 20th century fathers and grandfathers used to be addressed as "sir" but thngs have changednow. Respect lies in minds not merely in words,.
     
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