What is my SIL greatness? Am I unable to understand anything?

You are exactly right. Participating in the race i have ended up become a different person than what i am.
But thats the main goal of my husband. Change me to a completely new person as per his convenience in which he did succeed. and i am fine coz he did change little bit for me too.
I do see change in my inlaws too last year even though they did talk like vinayaka chavithi incident. and my MIL telling me i didnt do potty training properly, i didnt clip nails etc.
where as her daughters son who is now getting managed by 2 teens was completely lost in the ground.
But they atleast acknowledged that i was planning trips for them, they showed affection. bought be a saree with love for which i was happy.

But my SIL is the worst of all. her proud and attitude grows every year and now even more after her second marriage.

 

The reason i get angry on SIL more than Hubby is , men always compare wives with their mothers and sisters. so they make huge contribution on how he behaves with wife.
In our friends circle, i was the first one to have kid.so my husband only knew abt my SIL stories, she kept telling her 1st delivery she did all work.Later when other friends started having kids, my husband saw how they were getting so much help. his own friends stopped playing tennis to help wife.
so thats how my husband completely changed.

when my second one born, my hubby would take me restaurants etc so much and he didnt let me put grinder saying the baby will hear loud noise. his friend told him that. then my SIL calls one day, hubby tells her he has to put grinder coz i am pregnant. she again says,"no need i put grinder it absolutely does no harm to baby, let your wife do grinder".
This is what i hate about her. telling wrong suggestions to husband.

how about she gets complete help on feeding the 2nd kid. it was her teen daughter who was taking care of her 2nd kid and now her step son also helps. literally she doesnt so anything for her 2nd kid. where as i do for both my kids. they never tell and husband becomes blind infront of them.

 

@1Sandhya

I did that. I was so stressful when my kids were infants with a husband who expects me to do all housework plus his work and dont take any vacations at work.
At that time i did say. I am not super women like your sister i cant do and he just talked to me like i am crap and i beared it.

I did made my hubby slowly realize by seeing other friends. But the realization should come from his sister side. I wish our 10 day trip will make him realize the false boastings of his sister.

as you all said, even if he doesnt realize and continue. I will fight not to compare but wont over stress myself.

 

@KCB

I do have brother but my brother is very lazy compared to my husband. so i dont create any false stories and bring my brother topic. however my husband does know that my brother wife doesnt do much house work and he tells me that i should tell my MOM to make her do house work.
when my brother married, first thing i told my brother is not to compare me with his wife and told him, she is many years younger generation so she will not do as much housework as i am doing.

 

@Yellow Mango,

When i say that to my husband. He says i am trying to dominate him and doing things in my style. he says since i am wife, i should change as per his family way but not other way round.
[QUOTE
Why do you care so much for your husband's approval? What does he do to get your approval .He is using your sil to run you to the ground.He compares ,you feel bad and you try harder,do more.His life is perfect.His sister and wife are are out doing each other to outshine each other.[/QUOTE]

 

@ YellowMango

After long time talked to MIL. We are planning to go India this summer and i want to go for atleast 5 weeks. me being contractor working with no vacation past 2 years want to go for 5 weeks to stay at both mothers place and also MIL place( to give her some sugggestions on kitchen keepin). my husband agreed.

MY MIL didnt bring SIL topic but says its waste of money me taking off and coming india for 5 weeks. what should i reply her?.

Every time they say, waste of money and dont let me take vacation.
I dont like taking full time jobs coz as a technical lead i do make more in contracting.