Hello All, I am really loving IL site coz i am able to connect to the relationship issues people having and how they are thinking. so i am realizing it is not just me having these problems but there are so many people. Also i am able to realize seeing others suggestions. I thought of posting in Inlaws forum but since this is most famous, posting here. Please respond with your inputs, also if any questions. I am married for 11 years and have 2 kids. This thread is not about a very major problem but its definetely bothering me a lot.The issue is about why my SIL considers herself to be so great infront of me. i meet my SIL once in 1 year or so,in every visit - she shows lot of attitude and behaves as if she is superior to me, irrespective of me being no less than her either in looks or job or at cooking. - behaves proud(Intial visits made fun of me, when i got upset she became quiet) - boasts abt herself for couple of hours(job and hard working, cooking) - my husband definetely once says, see how my sis is doing you can learn this from her. I dont have major problems with husband or inlaws. But their self boasting nature, trying to dominate me ( do like this, cook rice like this, cook curry like this and they want me to sit and keep listening.they all want to sit on sofas expect me to cook and even serve them.SIL, MIL FIL from the time of marriage just love to dominate me, boss me. They want to give me lot of suggestions and boast abt themselves.For the first few visits when they behaved i kept quite, later i started expressing my husband and he would obviously fight with me. atleast in these years MY FIL MIL have realized and changed but didnt see any change in SIL even today which really shocks me. Here are the visits i had with my SIL , her status at that time and the way she behaved. 1st visit Status - she was well settled with working in full time job, her husband also very good career(they both not on talking terms) where as we were 6 months old in USA. But i got job and i only showed job to my husband. - she boasted abt her job, her greatness etc - she made fun of my cookings. - she said i was too thin. - many suggestions on each and every thing. my reaction- as i was new, i kept listening abt her job etc but when she made fun of me being thin. i fighted with husband coz my SIL is short, dark and no sharp features, the only thing she feels great abt is her figure which no one praises coz she is so short and just keeping good figure doesnt make her look any attractive.where as i am tall, wheatish with very sharp featuresbut i was thin that time.my husband obviously supported sister and said that i am really very thin and worth of her criticism.I felt so so bad that he feels his sister criticizing me as the correct thing. 2nd visit Status - Same as above but was in horrible fights with her husband and her hubby beated her.we went to console her.she didnt even look at my face and only talked to my husband and told him infact i wouldnt have to come coz she didnt feel good infront of me.I was trying support hubby and her I called for next 2 weeks to enquire how she is doing. she talked minimal normal with me, next week she gone to INDIA with hubby coz they were decided to getting divorced. I was shocked to know she left India and asked hubby "she didnt tell me talked last week". My husband again scolded me saying , you dont need to call her from now etc. Thats it i was emotionally hurt and decided to not keep any friendly relation entire life with her.Heard abt her thru husband for next few yrs. few times she called i too talked very minimal. coz by her not reciprocating my concern i completely understood that she will never become close to me emotionally so decided to keep her at distance. 3rd visit Status - she planned 2nd kid. and i was having 1st kid.she was high in spirits saying her husband is all changed and they bought a big house. she again praising abt her job as she is senior now etc.It was 4 yrs may be i was also working without break.from her 1st visit till now i was also continously working with my pay increasing,My husband even had break in job but not me. GC was filled on my name coz my husband was on breaks.So when she started boasting abt her job, i didnt care. she got angry. I gave her one suggestion on how she can get rid of her pimples and she got so angry on me and kept mum face.so then i strongly felt, she felt so bad when i gave suggestions then why the hell she giving suggestions to me. wont i feel bad.so that visit i politely started giving back to her on denial when she would suggest me. my son born and her son born, 6 months my MIL, hubby would compare on how well she taking care her son and i should learn etc from her, we had horrible fights. The comparison started that my SIL took only 2 week maternity leave when her 1st kid born so i should take 2 weeks. Now for 2nd kid she is taking coz she is full time employee. but since my 1st kid i should take 2 weeks only. I too fighted badly for their bad behavior on me and my hubby literally were not talking. my husband wasnt helping me, on top complaining that i was not taking care of my son properly.It was torture of my life. he treated my parents badly. my great SIL who was reason of all these fights coz she boasted all lies abt herself and made my hubby feel that i am not doing better job in taking care of kids.another side fighting with her husband saying that my brother takes care of wife and you not taking care of me. she had problems that her hubby meets with his relatives more. The fights were so horrible that went till divorce. one day we got call she decided to divorce her husband her 2nd kid was 9 months old.so now you can imagine, the lady so much high spirits and boasted how great she is, she does great planning etc.She made my life unbearable and me and my husband had fights. But in her personal life she took divorce after 2nd kid 9 months old. where as the reality is she is very selfish lady, she couldnt tolerate her husband showing affection on his family, was constantly fighting with husband. she behaves same sarcastic proudish infront of husband due to which they always used to fight. she would go on job business trips leaving their daughter at husband for 1-2 weeks. During that time she wanted her husbands brother family to take care of daughter but when she dont need them she would insult them. but my husband would never agree sisters fault coz my husband is also same kind of person. uses people when they need, after that dont care. he behaves same with my sister. when required for baby sitting he drops my kids at sister house and other times fights with me on why i invited my sister for dinner. 4th visit Status - Her status Divorced with 2 kids. my MIL, FIL and herself self boasting on how she handling 2 kids being single mom. Also that she stays at night coz her son doesnt sleep. I said yes even i dont sleep at nights but they dont respond. Even when my husband said yes she does all work my SIL keeps quite. So its not just she expressing her hard work but it is like always boasting how great she is, how much house work she does, she became very strong and her muscles are now toned up due to her hardwork. In reality i do more housework and she does less. so when i tell her all my details she keeps quite, goes away from there. 5th visit she was single mom with 2 kids. My status - I got GC on my name, also my hubby got thru me. I had 2nd kid 6 weeks and was working 12 hours. we were planning for house. she was completely quite in this trip seeing me working hard so much with 6 weeks baby and we were having new house. she was low inside coz she dont have house now and divorced but didnt show me anything. But she didnt utter a word that abt my hardwork anything. when some topic comes of doing house work job, she says she did more than this making my hubby get an impression that i am no good. we had few more visits like this on and off. Last yr shocking visit -- status - she married a divorced guy who has 1 kid. the guy she married dont have job its been 1 year and dont have any money. the only thing that guy has is good looking and he talks very sweet. my status - 2 kids. me and hubby managers with big house. now the shocking part of this visit is - Very over confidence of my SIL,very very high spirits. In one discussion she says " she is matured and more intelligent than anyone in entire family" she became a senior manager and will now raise 3 kids and support husband who got GC thru her. she is sole breadwinner of family. she looks down on me and in talks compares me with her colleague and says for silly things ladies complaints where as i have hard worked so much. In this visit i was cooking , taking care of all kids. she was roaming with her husband and dont care abt kids.she doesnt spend any time with her daughter who became very close to me. also her step son became very close and i enjoyed my entire time with them.i would wake up do breakfasts etc for all, take care of all my and her kids. go2 work also.she woke up at 10 am one day and doing exercise sitting infront of new husband. my husband says - sister why dont you give your secrets of exercise to my wife, she is struggling to loose weight after 2nd kid. i am like.....whatttt....seeing your sister who is neglecting her own kids, at the age of 40 roaming with new husband leaving kids behind. divorced the 1st husband out of money minded mentality and ego, married a guy with 0$ coz he is tolerating her proud behavior. Is she really that great to be praised infront of me? ladies i am wondering, where am i doing wrong.i dont expect my hubby to tell me i am great but even today for a given chance he want to show me less infront of my SIL.so what is that makes her to be proud infront of me. why she considers great infront of me. Is there anything i am not able to realize.