what is harmless flirting?

console1 Bye Ri..Bye Utts..

 

In the meanwhile I will try to find out what is it called when 'three people are kicked out of forum' to be able to explain in single word, to everyone, what happened here. :2thumbsup:

 

Can't guarantee.. if it is baby's day out then.. I better stop. gigglingsmiley

 

(chick norris)....

 

Harmless flirting is just that - harmless - no physical, psychological or emotional damage done. I am not in the prime of my youth but if a nice attractive looking man were to pay me a compliment I would like that and may be give out my best smile or laugh. When someone says he thought I was a lot younger than what I am, sure I am flattered. Let us face it. I am not going to be even "this young" forever. Some day I will be an old grandma and no one is going to tell me I look nice :-(
This is what I call harmless flirting. No harm done. It is natural to be attracted to and notice and compliment opposite sex. Neither he nor I have any agenda, are not even remotely emotionally involved, psychologically connected at any plane, let alone even physical.

Who does not enjoy a compliment from a handsome man, or someone who holds the door open for you, or stops by your cube to check how your weekend was.... I tell all this to my husband myself and he knows and understands and I know and understand too. We both are married for some years and are mature enough to know what we are doing. So .... no harm done


Aamrapali

 

Aamrapali, I guess it comes down to definition, again. What you have just described does not fit my definition of flirting. The litmus test is whether this same kind of interaction could take place between same-sex heterosexuals, and in my world, it could, and does. I have told other women they look good, younger than their actual age, they they were wearing something nice, etc.

Flirting is, for me anyway, a lot more than just a compliment here or some extra attention there. I would think anyone not dead from the neck down (wait, didn't Stephen Hawking cheat on his wife with his nurse?!) would be naturally attracted to members of the opposite sex. Enjoying the company of (handsome or not-so-handsome) people who are not our husbands is normal, and natural.

Flirting is going a step or two beyond this. Flirting is letting someone know, deliberately and consistently, that you find them attractive, and treating them as you would a potential romantic partner in the early stages of a romantic relationship (wooing behaviors - touching hands and arms when talking, making prolonged eye contact, inside jokes, excessive and unnecessary texting/calls to which others are not privy, and so on).

It is not about being part of a clique, or one of the cool kids. It is a familiarity with, and longing for attention from, another person that could fizzle into nothingness, or turn into something more serious. This is what ultimately distinguishes it from innocent affection or friendship-like bonding behaviors.

I guess it all depends on perspective, and how one perceives romance, and limits of behavior between the sexes. Like OP astutely pointed out, it's a knife's edge. Real flirting is the kind of thing that makes other people uncomfortable (another litmus test) - I really don't want to listen to Sheila (from accounting) twitter and giggle and coo at Larry's (from HR) dirty jokes for 30 minutes.

I would actually yell at people to, "Jeez, get a room!" when this sort of thing gets out of hand (yes, I live in a far, far scarier world than the rest of you lucky folk). Another way that harmless flirting is not so harmless - it usually is only fun for the flirter and flirtee. The rest of us have to avert our eyes.

 

Sheila says: "Larry, babe, let's give Ansuya something to talk about ..."

People are talkin, talking 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under covers
I just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing, something we don't, Darlin'

Let's give them something to talk about .....

 

Dammit, Soka, you just made me realize that was supposed to read "titter" and not "twitter"... Where's that edit facility when you need it?!

You nailed it with that song, though - the perfect lyrical description of what flirting is, and what it means. No smoke without fire, and all that.