what is happening? what to do now?

Extend you vacation and tell your husband that you will go with him. In a trip, if he is spending time with his mom, let it be. It is natural for him to spend time with his mother. I don't think you need to be upset with that. My DH also spends time with his parents when we visit India. He never stays at my parents house. However late, he will return to his house. I just enjoy food, shopping, meeting my friends and relatives, spend time with my parents and sleep, never enter kitchen. My DH does his own things. So extend your vacation and enjoy it. Also, there is no harm in having your kid spend some time with his grandma. It is the experience which he will always remember. My grandma used to visit us for a few months and i always remember the love and caring she gave to me - making my favorite food, warming the food for me, folding my clothes, etc. so many memories. So please don't deprive your child from grandmother's love. She may not be good with you but will always give love to her grandson.

 

Very True

This will actually increase the fights between the couple. There should be an end and no looking for getting even.

Nobody has to live the jerk that cuts you off in the line. Life partner is supposed to be the one that don’t cut you off or put you down.

Don’t you think the same applies to the OP as well? She deserves to stay with her parents.

I think what men of this age forget is that women doesn’t have to plead/request/cry to exervise her freedom. She is mature and can make decisions for her and her family. Husbnand and wife both have discuss.
I haven’t come across a man who doesn’t call a woman who cries as Drama queen.

 

seriously???? A grown woman has to resort to tears and pleading in the high chance that her mighty husband will do her bidding????? Seriously....a woman has to demean herself just to be able to see her parents while this man thinks it is birth right to not only stay with his own but get his wife to stay with his parents.Forget a man's ego.....what about a little humanity.....do you really think a man who wants tears and pleading from his 'woman' has any love in his heart for her.

I do agree with the rest of the points though.

 

Been there , done that. MIL almost made me suicidal when she was over when my DD was born. All of ILs acted like heartless beasts incl my DH when we visited them a year later for DDs first bday. But the story ended right there. I shut up and put up with every insult they threw at my and my family. Once we flew back , I lost my **** and threatened DH with divorce. Mind you I was jobless at that time , had never worked in the US , but still couldnt deal with his and the ILs attitude. DH panicked and got his **** together. No woman need to deal with this tyranny. Im assuming you are a citizen or a green holder. So visa status do not matter much to you. If you want to extend your stay , do that and go back together and confront your DH there.
I do not speak to my ILs and I so love my current stress free life. They were complete toxins who slowly rot my body and mind. I will leave it at that. What they did to be cut off is a long story for perhaps another thread. GL

 

OP,

This is extremely touchy subject in my life. I hate my trips, it feels like a punishment. All I remember was, nothing but crying when I go to India. It feels like a different world (living in nightmare) and my DH treats me like he is 'at war' with me.

It is not an one time bad incident! I must have done some bad karma to live in such a nightmare, over and over again.

Over the years, I reduced my trip to just 7-days. It worked out to be the best for both of us and after returning it takes, weeks to recover in silent.

Haven't found a solution yet, for my re-occurring nightmare.

 

Hi\
I understand what you are going through as my hubby and I guess many hubbies are very similar to yours.I think when left alone my husband is very logical and open minded which I love and admire about him.
Once he is with mil I can see him changing into a conservative man thinking and saying like my mil.We have our inlaws visiting us here now and I am seeing the change in him.My mil is very similar , she is cunning ..will act like she is the sweetest and kindest mil in front of my hubby and with me she turns her normal self.Whenever we have fights now she talks to him and advices him god knows what and his behavior changes .I told him that the fights are between him and me related to us so let us handle it.If a third person comes in between it blows out of proportion and has negative consequences.
I have learnt a few lessons in life.I never talk to my mil badly in front of him because once it happened that even though she was wrong my husband told me that I had misbehaved.So I know he will never see her fault.If I have any concerns I tell him when I am at work and he can think rationally and she is not there to make any incident more dramatic.In front of her I keep my conversations minimum , because she hears someone talking on phone she jumps to conclusions and she is very talkative.At home I also talk to my husband minimum when she is around.I know they always form an opinion about dil and its mostly negative.

 

What's the problem in having your son stay a few days with your MIL? Don't be so possessive, you are picking up the same nature as your MIL then. Let him stay with his grandma for a few days and enjoy your time at your parents place.
From the locker incident, you know how he thinks. So next time just listen from one ear and let it go from the other and avoid your MIL as much as possible during your stay.