What is happening to me ????

Mrs True. When in good mood, she says I am the best husband any wife could ever get. She says she is wrong and cannot think properly sometimes.

Comming to what she thinks i lack in:
1) 2 weeks after marriage we came to the US. I wanted to bring my wife along with me to the US. I had to get my H1 stamped(i was on F1 before), then get her H4 visa also. I was so confident that i would take along with me in 2 weeks, and after that its goign to be just me and her, so when i went to chennai, i asked her to stay with her family as she would miss them after coming to US (later i came to know she dint like it) . Great difficulty and luckily i found a visa appt date for her and got her visa done. and the second day after her visa we were flying. It was all so close. All this was done in 2-3 weeks time right after marriage. Now tell me, was there enough time for us to roam around like newly weds (i was struggling hard to finish thing sup, so she could come along with me). Thats her complaint. I thougth we have got all life together afte rocming to us and we can go out.
Another thing is- taking her to theater. I was free in the nights. But i dont have a bike or car - sold everythign to ocme to the US for my studies. Hiring an auto late in the night after movie with a girl by side is not so safe, so i dint take her. - her thoughs are 'where there is a will, there is a way!!!! $$?

2) After comming to US, first 3 weekends we were making our home. Buying stuff and arranging. Wife got pregnant meanwhile and its not safe for the baby to travel during pregnnacy - so we could not go any where.

See all these are situational. where is my fault?

 

Mrs True. Yes I explain her all this and even more than this to her. I did all this even when in India when this was happening. When I explain things to her, she nods her head. Then I would think aha i did a good job and now everythign is clear. She is not mistake me anymore bolke, i will be happy. Then after a few days she brings those. She does not accuse me or scream or anything. She just says i missed all the fun and its as if she has lost everything. Thats when am like? wth. I again explain everythign she nods, then after some days back to square 1. Am at a stage currently, where I dont explain myself, i just leave it and this has been causing more trouble. I mean, we are not gong to die, we have all life, and we can njoy things at our own pace.

Yes Mrs. True, I always tell her, the same thing, 'some people dwell in past things and finding faults in others so much that, they forget the prersent and forget what they have" never works. We dont fight over each ther with all this, but when she has all these complaints, that brings my confidence levels down. Currently i have zero confidence levels.

Yes, less baggage more comfort. I like the policy, in fact am the person who forgets current luggage also. She njoys rolling in the past i guess.

We do not go out for walks, but we have our time together. We had and still have fun times together , except that they are indoor. We are good together, only her these thigns gets me wonder, if am taking good care of her or not?

I came out clean except for one other thing that bothers my WIfe Mrs.True. I am afraid if i say that i would be contradicitng some of my previous posts. I am known in this website, with a diff user account and so inorder to not expose my identity, i took up this Naksh account and had to add some twists and turns like - 'ours being love marriage and stuff'.

My other account has 86 posts, so my gk is that after 50 posts we get private messaging facility. I dont know how to use it, if you have any idea can you please share. So i can send that one last missing peice from that other account. And i can come clean. and you can help us. Well, if not, hell. I can post that one thing also her, no issues.

 

Thanks Vidya. Correct. i but f am assertive, she gets frightened which i do not want. But with my case, i do not knwo how i can be asertive. I mean what can be said at this juncture? lets give it a try.

Is this fine? 'look, past is past - i dont want you digging past anymore, and want you to live in present and dont want you to fret over petty stuff' -> then what happens next - Tears start rolling down two cheeks. Then?

One strong 'mmhhmm' from me is enough to fill a bucket.

Edit: Okay. so will do this. Next itme, if she hides under that mysterious mysery veil, i would tell her.

 

Never mind Mrs True. Lets get it all out with.

One last and more important peice follows. She has assigned priority to these. This is crime 1, I accept this to some extent. and other bacha stuff (never mind those, but she does), is crime 2. Minus these two, am wonderful is what she has to say.

I was there with her during delivery time in India. I was there all along in the hospital (it was very uncomfortable some times, i will tell you why). Once discharged, she was taken to her home. i would visit her daily during my stay. staty there from 11:30 AM or nooon till evening and should get back to my place along with the perosn that goes to the place i know of. Its very far away, and no means of transport, so I had to depend on him and work as per the schedule. She never welcomes with smile always a 'thinking face' , well, forget it, i still go. It gets very uncomfortable, with all the ladies around. They keep talking their family issues, well, i dont want to be amidst all these conversations. it feels embarassing. So i dont feel like going there. I would expect my wife judge the situation based on my character.

She is likle - 'my husband is a rock, no feelings for his wife. Will not relent even after seeing her cry'

Am like 'She knows me, she of all the people knows me better and very well knows that i cant mingle much and that too with so many people around, i would get cranky, so can understand.'

Well, that has definetely hurt her big time. I say it was kind of situational as well, fault was neither yours nor mine. so lets move on. She did. and she is all fine. But when somethign related to delivery comes, she goes 'ahh i cant forget those days' and then hell breaks loose.

My character: Except for friends i dont mingle much with 'relatives'. I cant be amidst so many people, that too not of my age. That gets me nervous, and i act funny' . She knows this very well.

Also, I used to feel, no books or forums or anything will teach how to behave with your spouse. It has to come natural. But now, i think am left iwth no choice, or i just wanted to bring this off my chest. now am cool. Thanks people.

Well. i bared it all. i definetely was looking for some one or somethign to talk this to. it has been in for so many months. it feels good now.

Thanks for the patience.
PS:This is not just for Mrs True. Please know that I am talking to everybody.

 

Correct Spiderman. Silly of me.
i put everything out there now. Thanks for your time.