What is good for child?...To be the only one...or to have someone growing along??

Hi Ladies!!

I was an only child to my parents & they intentially took this decision of keeping only one child. I used to ask my mother as have not seen many friends who were w/o any bother or sisiter for why I do not have & she used to tell me that they wanted to keep one child to be sure they give right values, education & total care to their child by all means.

I would not like to discuss my experiance here more but need to know what your experiance says...

Apart from being good mark regarding the population front, please let me how do you feel it is good to have one child....

:coffee request you to please give it a thought & share it with me..

warm regards,

Nikita

 

Hi Janani!

Thanks for your post & sharing views.

Although I loved the feeling of being “The princess” there are some facts I have gone through..sharing them here…not sure it will help some thinking again :coffee about their decision of keeping one child..

I lost my father when I was 10 ever since whenever my mother used to fall ill or I still remember that specific day when she met with an accident when I was in standard 9<SUP>th</SUP>…....I used to feel so very insecure & used to be so afraid of being lonely in this world if something happened to her.

When I was growing up..there was no competition for me so whatever I did was considered good & appreciation used to come up for whatever height I achieve. My parents used to appreciate my success in comparison to theirs. For sure it was no bad standard in any way but for sure they used to miss the generation gap I was going to head on. What I learned was all from my parents & later only from my mom before I started learning & identifying my own self & changing my attitude to become what I really wanted to. There was no one ever who was growing along me from who's mistakes or challenges seen, I could have help to got a better idea of this part of world my parents were not belonging to....

My friends for sure were there & still are with me in fact my better half is also my childhood friend, but...that vacuum was forever there in my life.

I recall my days as a kid out in street for play with friends who used to be partial for their siblings. My age group kids even used to bully me with their elder ones....so often I used to come back home crying when they all used to rush back without giving me my turn in the play after I even served hours to them by throwing balls or rotating strings...

To avoid this routine...I later stopped going out for play & My mom bought me some interesting in door games. but here too I needed a partner. My Mom was often busy but used to take out time to play with me. Here again I could grow up to limited level. My mom used to make me win in those games to keep me happy...

My mom has always done so much for me & everyone in my friend circle knew that she is my best friend & I tell each & every thing to her. They in fact used to avoid telling me things they were afraid of mom knowing them.

In place of me going out we used to appreciate my friends coming over to my place. But at times especially at the time of festivals I really used to feel some vacuum. like on holi..., Diwali, raksha bandan..etc.

In my way, I got many very good friends who were there but I knew that I can never have a genuine fight with them with the fear they will go away. I accepted many wrong friends as well just for the sake of having company at some points.

Today I am a marketing professional but I know how much I have worked on myself to come out myself & being part of this world.

Would like to bring it straight that kids who grow up alone need conscious additional workings on their level of confidence in public, handling emotion stress, being street smart & avoid being possessive about anything & wearing complexes (superiority or inferiority).

I am telling this totally out of my own personal experience & feel like you do not do anything more wrong than keeping one child. Either don’t have children at all or keep two. Be it both girls or boys if not one girl-one boy…..but growing with some one does makes a lot of difference…

This is all what I think….may be for me grass is green on the other side…


I hope someone will let me know if I am wrong…

lots of love,

Nikita

 

Thank you so much for your post Asha!

I have gone through this...yes I also got need of medical attention at a point when I was not able to cop up with stress I came across but thanks to my Mom, My better half & my some of very close friends who always stood with me & not to forget almighty who gave me wisdom for what I was going through, conquered it & grow up covering it for myself.

But I know there is other part of stories as well apart from my experience.... I welcome them here as well..

Ladies reading this..please let us know what is your opinion...single child is better or you should go for another one as a must..

I request you to please come up with your thoughts......this discussion may make difference in someone's life.

Lots of love,

Yours Nikita

 

Dear Asha/ Kareena/ Abha,

Thank you so much for your post & it really touched me.

I am sharing not only experience but my life here…..

I know it really hurts when you go through partial behaviors from cousins…that too after you do in person & keep feelings more than their own siblings..

My husband loves his sisters & brothers who are really lovely & me too cherish them in my life but coming to a point the affection he has for them & the right they have on him….I do not have anyone alike….

May be there are other thoughts too...who would perfer keeping single child...let's welcome them in discussion to have a wider perspective.




Thank you.

Lots of love,

Yours Nikita

 

Dear Aabhi,

Thanks for your kind words, my friend. I truly belive what you said here.

I am not upset but really want to give a close thought on the subject.

lots of love,

yours Nikita