What Is Forgiveness

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Aug 24, 2021.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    I’m sure this has been discussed before but what is forgiveness?

    Is forgiveness forgiving someone for something unforgivable even though they are not repenting?

    Or does forgiveness mean that you leave it alone and you move on in your life. And maybe you allow God to take care of it, ie Gid says, “Vengeance is Mine.”

    I still don’t understand what forgiveness is.

    I know someone who was cheated in marriage very badly and the family is devastated. She is still grieving, but much better than before.

    The person has the nerve to go to her relatives and say he is sorry and the stupid relatives believes him (relative and revolting sounds similar, no?)

    He is only sorry he got caught, is living hand-to-mouth, but refuses to leave the country because he can get food stamps. And even if he was truly sorry she rather be lonely than take him back.

    My friend is trying the prayer, “Lord forgive me if my trespasses, as I forgive those who trespass upon me”

    This is hard prayer.

    Can you tell me what forgiveness means to you.

    How are you able to “forgive” and unforgivable person, ie abusive husband, in laws who made you suffer.

    Or maybe it never gets resolved and you have a hole in yiu4 heart that you fill with flowers ir coal.

    Ladies and gents, plz share your experiences.
     
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  2. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Dear @sui
    Hi @SuiDhaaga
    I am giving reply in my poetry which is inspired by your post here is the link hope you will like it.
    Forgiveness
    Regards
    Ratna
     
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  3. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Ohhh I inspired you!!!
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Forgiveness is the ability of a person to let go and not carry grudge against one who did say or did something that affects the other mentally much. It entails the affected person to pardon the other.

    2. But in modern rat race world, we have infinite complex issues and problems with persons at closer proximity and also people in other near or far off nations. Forgive & be distanced is somewhat easy. But to forgive and “open all the buttons” is unimaginable.

    3. At individual level in few circumstances it might be possible to forgive the person harmed the other by a statement by or anaction but in real world forgiveness is done easily only in church by “Fathers”. :innocent:

    4. At global level, when we speak in terms of relations with our neighbour countries, it is not easy for any Nation to forgive the other in the neighbourhood causing atrocities, of insurgence, aggression, organised terrorism.

    5. In the word of Internet & WhatsApp, celebs are trolled. Celebs - should they forgive them?

    6. It may be noble to forgive the harming person but it is absolutely out of question in the case of a website or NEWS paper or any other media engaged in outright hurt and cause distress to other.

    7. Hurts can never be forgotten even after it is forgiven. Womenfolk would remember till eternity the hurt and the persons caused it. Men May hurt any one and seem to easily forget that too.
    8. Hurts in childhood never forgotten and several years later retribution takes place!
    9. Luckily for the world, Drowpath didn’t forgive Duryodhana & Dushasana - otherwise there would not be an epic Mahabharata!
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2021
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  5. Asw

    Asw Silver IL'ite

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    True sir!! :) Ha ha.. Impossible for womenfolk to forget.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2021
  6. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    You penned lot of thoughts

    1. If person can forgive this way, it is better for them

    2. If you are near person who wronged you, you are constantly reminded of incident. If you are far from offending person, it is easy to move on

    3. Exactly, there must be reparation from the wrong-doer. Not a sorry and some stupid relative says forgive based on that sorry

    4. I am unable to speak about National level. Countries change, politics change.

    5. I am unable to speak for Celebs. It is a different world for a Celeb, they constantly have attention, both positive and negative.

    6. I dunno about website or newspaper or media causing harm

    7. What the axe forgets the tree remembers. But men will remember if THEY are hurt, not if they are the ones doing the harm.

    8. Ok, I guess this is general statement.

    9. How many men think what happened to Draupadi was forgivable? Men don't understand what it is like to be a woman. It is unfortunate if a woman is stuck in a marriage to a man who is insentitive to her needs. Otherwise what happens is, baby girls get aborted because what Mother wants their daughter to be violated like Draupadi? Then there is world of only boys.
     
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  7. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Forgiveness differs from situation that occur.I will take some instances:
    if your loved one hurted you accidentally you get angry,if he/she ask to forgive, you will definitely get melt and forgive.
    But when any disturbance in relationship exists,he/she accidentally or intentionally hurted you,and you are not in position to cope up and stay, decided to move away.later if person ask for forgiveness you won't return at same time you should not carry that in your mind as you already moved out of relationship.
    Carrying that grudge,anger gives you negativity,we can't live in peace.
    We cannot grow,there will be no positivity in life.
    Ultimately we need to be happy with our life,by releasing them from our minds voluntarily.
    Ofcourse we are not god or monks to forgive everyone who stepped our tail, sometimes we need to be smart in the situation to act accordingly.
    We need to apply defense mechanism to protect ourselves from being hurt.Being proactive than reactive.
    When relationship is stronger forgiveness is very easy but when there is no good relationship it's really hard to forgive.
    Example india relationship with china, pakistan.

    Can we forgive china for creating pandemic, what we can do,we stop visiting to that country and we stop using their products.Will be any use carrying their actions in our mind.

    Forgiveness is not part of everyone, police cannot accept apologies,if he find his suspect right,he either punish or encounter.

    But incase of our life,is to live happily, without disturbances with in us.To possible extent help others,we are normal human beings.

    Ultimately at end of life no repents for action we did in our life.
    When to forgive,when to move,we easily learn through spiritual learning and as we grow.
    Regards
    Ratna
     
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  8. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    That's the biggest thing. What to do, how to cope if someone hurt you. So you can bounce back.
     
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  9. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Gold IL'ite

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    For me Forgiving means gaining "Mental peace" with the pain/circumstance that occurred with person/myself involved, this way I don't continue with pain/problem and work on solution to get better and saw some hope and progress further instead of struck there itself.
     
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  10. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Gosh it is so hard to move on. I guess meditation helps, even if for few minutes a day because you aren't thinking of anything.

    Neither pain nor happiness, i.e. duality.
     

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