What irritates you the most???????

I think the list goes on . Let me try to limit it to top 5.

1. The way she expects us to spend money on her daugther and her kids, who never bothered to give a penny to me after our marriage.

2. Comparing with her daugther, when there is actually nothing in common between us.

3. Asking the same things again and again. When we clearly said that we dont want to plan the kids right away, she irritates me asking to goto gync doctor.:rant

4. Expects me to loot my parents the way she and her daugther does.

5. Finally, poking into each and every personal matter.

 

I used to get bothered by so many things (particularly when my mil gloated about how perfect dh's ex-wife was), but now I don't care whatever she wants to say. In fact my dh is like my spokesperson and does all the talking for me... if she says something nasty, he takes her down like a pit bull on a T-bone. Basically, when my husband started standing up for me, I felt less vulnerable, and hence stopped feeling so helpless, and once I got more confidence, her words became unable to dent my self esteem.

My saying:

I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Harhar

 

1. Over exaggeration (I'm not sure if such word exists) of her malady and pain. For example, if she has just accidentally cut a bit of skin, she would yell like crazy and make a drama out of it.
2. Showing open disdain and contempt over different culture and people of other faith.
3. Always boasting of herself and family.

 

If I start to list the things probably the list will be endless. But try to list only top most things that irritates me.

1. MIL thinks she nd her daughters, nd husband are the only true people(like satya harischandra type) on the earth and bcoz of them only our mankind is alive on the earth today.

2. Treats son's daughters poorly (infront of son treats them as they r her sole) and DD's children very good. If DD's son gets cold asks him to take this tablet that..go to doctor etc. and calls daily to remind him of taking medicine.Where as coming to my daughters behaves like yeah her mother will take care.

3. Eventhough my SIL's are not that highly educaed as I am she thinks that they have knowledge in everything and better than me. SIL's kids r raised by MIL but if I let my parents to raise my daughter..then complaints that they r not giving good food..not treating well etc and poisons DH mind.

Always, pointsout mistakes in me,Dh and my parents..no matter what u say.They behave like people with two tounges.

4.Ill treats my parents. Always says that one should not take money from there daughter:bonkeven they are in trouble(but my father doesn't have any son like MIL to send them money).MIL's Son-in-laws has to be very polite towards them but not my DH. SIL's don't go to their inlaws house that ofthen but MIL expects me to stay at her house when we visit India(even she won;t treat me good). MIL cooks there favorote food for DD's kids not for my kids.

5.we have to pour in money for her DD's. Eventhough DD1 won't talk to me nice also, I have to be nice to her and everytime we visit we have to shower them with money.

6.my IL's r financially dependent on us. we send money monthly and if there r anyother expenses in between we have to send immediately. eventhough we do all this she says that my SIL2 said that she will send money for this but we said no ,we won't take money from our daughter.

7.My husband built house for my IL's. If anybody visits MIL's house then MIL nd FIL both say that my SIL2 sent this that (as we r not sending anyhting to them:crazy).MIL always praises about there daughters nd her son-in-laws.(not even takes name of my DH name once).

I guess, i will stop it here otherwise the list will be endless.

 

it is good thread for the ladies,who can not express there feelings in front of the close circle.
if mil have sufficient money,not a problem for us.if she need some more it will turn to us only.
we should not inter fire with there privacy,diet,and all money maters. if we do that she will turn to our side with double force.
there is a proverb in tamil-"mamiyaru odaithal ovithavatha mansatti- marumaga kai patta man sattiyum pon satti"
so what ever happens SILENCE is the best way to solve the problems.:thumbsup
,

 

There are so many things which irritate me but the last one which irritated me the most was that the very day we landed in India, my cosis and MIL weighed my DD to measure her . Later cosis commented that she cannot be so much, may be the scales are wrong. I suddenly went to the room and saw this tamasha. Needless to say, my blood boiled. And since she and my DH take care of calling their friends and relatives, she also conveniently forgot to call my DH's friend's family who are close to me here for a family function thereby straining my relations with them.

 

I live with in-laws and there are many things that I used to face in day-to-day life. My SIL also staying in the same flat and obviously you all know how my story would be.

There could be other things like comparing me with daughter, no privacy, very very orthodox family..which are all happening for everyone. That will be solved one day.

So, the most irritated ones are:

1. My MIL talked to her relatives and blamed about me and my parents when I was there at home. My DH says that she speaks very frankly and its her character. But how can I digest when anyone talks about me and my parents to others in front of me?

2. My father was bedridden in hospital for 15 days and came back. All Doctors said it was a re-birth. Not even once my MIL or SIL talked to my parents enquiring about my father's health.

3. The most irritated and emotional thing is, after 4 days of my father-in-law death, I had miscarriage. I vomitted for around 20 times and had severe abdominal pain. My parents were there. In front of everyone, she shouted that my father-in-law died because I didn't celebrate Karthigai festival (even though I celebrated but could not prepare pori urundai because of initial days of pregnancy). I completely went down after hearing such words. She did this purposely to make me and my parents feel shame. She could have shouted anytime but not definitely at the time of my miscarriage. I understood her situation that she is depressed by the demise of her husband and kept quiet. But from that time onwards, I stopped calling her as amma.

Other than these, she is a good lady but when I remember those bad things, I could not praise her for the good things she did.