What happens when a Desi returns from the U.S.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by daffodil, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    At the risk of getting stoned by other ILites... what about all the Indian people from India who travel/move to other countries and are constantly surprised/outraged at how different things are there, and feel a need to constantly whine and complain (the lack of vegetarian food being an example of a very common complaint)?

    Just a thought from the other side, please don't excommunicate me.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2008
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  2. Cutepavi

    Cutepavi Silver IL'ite

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    hey this looks like a controversy.. I COULDNT STOP RESPONDING THIS WAY.. NO OFFENSE TO ANY ONE.. BUT THIS IS TRUE... :)

    Also after reading this please think about the people in around and try to analyse how they try to imitate fakeness..

    but there are certain things in it that is true and i dont think theres anything cribbing about it... and i guess each person will understand that once they bcme a desi and go back...!!



    21. Tries to use Credit Card in road side Hotel.--- i consider this as a habit and not done purposely....


    20. Drinks and carries Mineral Water and always speaks of Health. (proving to be very health conscious).-- it is very much a health conscious issue.. even here people use bottled water then y cant they do it back in india...

    19. Sprays DEO such so that he doesn't need to take bath. - they do it after taking bath.. its called precaution.. and its better to to use it rather than stinking and i think ppl in india also use DEO...


    18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me' - i see this as good manners...


    17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi" thts again habitual...


    Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds" both mean the same.. as long as we can understand theres no pblm in it...


    Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi"- habitual


    Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate" - same again...


    Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit" - same...


    Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".... same...


    Says "Got To Go" instead of "Have To ... another habitual...


    Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)


    16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.-- wats cribbing in this.. it is indeed 100% true....


    15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in KiloMeters), and counts in Millions.(Not in Lakhs).... HABITUAL... we say that day in and day out and theres nothing wrong when it comes out of automatically...


    14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).HELLOO... WE DONT HAVE RUPEES HERE... AND ITS MULTIPLIED BY 44.45 NOW!!!!


    13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket -- WE HAVE DIFFERENT PERCENTAGE MILK HERE AND ITS AGAIN HABITUAL TO LUK AT THE % IN MILK GALLON HERE.. so i dont see y they shudnt see the same in the MILK PACKETS....


    12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee (but never says Zed).


    11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!" YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING THAT WHEN A DESI COMES TO US FROM INDIA HE USES DD/MM/YYYY AND THAT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTED HERE AND SO ITS AGAIN HABITUAL....


    10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.AND THATS ANOTHER FACT.. HERE THERE ARE 4 TIMEZONES AND "GOOD" ROADS...THOUGH INDIA IS IMPROVING AND WHO IN INDIA HAS NOT COMPLAINED ABOUT THESE SAME ROADS WHEN THEY BUMP INTO ONE THEMSELVES..??? Y R U BEING SOO POSSESSIVE... INDIA IS OUR COUNTRY TOO AND WE ALSO HAVE THE EQUAL RIGHT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!!!!


    9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag"... IT MIGHT HAPPEN TO SOME...


    8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.... AMERICAN CHILLI IS NOT SPICY AND NOWADAYS HERE THERES A SHORTAGE OF CHILLIES EXPORTED FROM INDIA... AND ... THEN I DONT SEE WHAT IS WRONG IN IT.. OKIE CHILL... LETS EAT NON SPICY FOOD...!!!


    7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.... HEALTH CONSCIOUS AGAIN.. THOUGH THAT IS BAD FOR HEALTH....


    6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.... NOT REALLY...


    5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule"... HE'S COMING FROM AMERICA LET HIM SHOW SOME ACCENT CHANGE... WHO IS NOT DOING THAT IN INDIA??? IF YOU WANT TO SEE THAT WATCH THE IDEA STAR SINGER IN MALAYALAM AND SHE TRIES TO FAKE ENGLISH IN THE MIDDLE OF HER SPEAKING.... SO THAT IS NOTHING GREAT ABOUT IT...


    4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food... AGAIN HEALTH CONSCIOUS....


    Few more important stuffs:-


    3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival... I DONT SEE MY UNCLE REMOVING THE TAG WHEN HE COMES FROM DELHI... AND I DONT REMOVE THE TAG AFTER TRAVELLING FROM BOMBAY... NO ONE TRIES TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING BETWEEN THEM...


    2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads... IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO BUY A VIP BRIEFCASE FROM THE VIP SHOWROOM AND WALK THE WEIGHT WHEREVER THEY GO????


    And The Ultimate One:-


    1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."
     
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  3. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello, Cutepavi

    I think you've done a very necessary thing in providing the viewpoint of a desi. Although I'm sure some Indian people go back to India and "show off" with their American ways, they are surely in the minority. For most Indian people going back to India after time spent abroad, their behaviour is just a matter of practicality and habit, as you have pointed out.

    At the same time, desis should be more considerate of Indian people when making their comments. A certain amount of complaining can be excused, but a desi should keep in mind that Indians who have chosen to remain in India (for whatever reason) would be sensitive to comments from "outsiders".

    I was also perplexed by the sneezing point in the original post - as you point out, surely it is only good manners to say, "Excuse me" when you sneeze? Is this not an Indian custom too?

    The other thing is, for someone who is not used to Indian air/food/water (even if they had at one time lived in India), it is only common sense to avoid getting sick by being careful what you eat and drink. It is part of the travel advisory to India to only drink bottled water for people who are not from there (or are visiting after time spent away). "Delhi Belly" is a very real problem that can ruin a perfectly good holiday!

    For the record, I don't really belong in either category. But I have lived in India and the US, although neither is my home country. So I hope no one out there minds me playing devil's advocate! Maybe if we understand each other's positions, it'll be easier for us to avoid getting annoyed.

    Ansuya
     
  4. vanigooty

    vanigooty New IL'ite

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    hi This is really good and very funny too but what u said is always real.
     
  5. smitha_123

    smitha_123 New IL'ite

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    Super Dooper :rotfl Looks like u have a set of jiggles about US return Desi's. Can't stop laughing yaar. Super!!!! Keep posting new ones. :thumbsup
     
  6. archu1981

    archu1981 Silver IL'ite

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    i support cutepavi's post..as it is true.........
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2009
  7. hemalathaK

    hemalathaK Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    The above mentioned subject is true and the people don't do it wantedly and it is because of the habit ofcourse.Infact when they come for the first time to U S they are confused with everything and slowly practice to follow them and it finally becomes an habit without their consciousness.
     
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  8. englishtutorjul

    englishtutorjul Silver IL'ite

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    So true. But then, at times, when you have spent too long in one place, unknowingly, you end up picking the habits. But again, this is not true for everyone. There are people who throw around their fake attitude and accent everywhere. Good post!
     
  9. kamdev1

    kamdev1 Silver IL'ite

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    yes, very true about people coming back from foreign country
     

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