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What Do You Think Ladies?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by SGBV, May 18, 2022.

  1. Ruby2019

    Ruby2019 Gold IL'ite

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    The irony right. Why even post if you can’t accept a different view.

    If her high flying job dynamics was Soo unique, she should talk about it others in her office and not ask us.
     
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  2. Ruby2019

    Ruby2019 Gold IL'ite

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    I highly suggest you apologise for saying this. I don’t even need to go into details on why this is rude and if I can say, plain stupid, at a forum where you are a regular.
     
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  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Yup.
     
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  4. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes I’m glad Sri Lanka doesn’t have drama serials . I’m glad you have a drama free life too . If there is a little bit of drama in it it’s because Indian got involved .

    you are rude , egoistic and someone who can’t think that she is at fault . When you put something on social platform be ready to think in all dimensions, that’s whole purpose . Unbiased honest opinion .
    What kind of character are you !!! Seriously judging everyone except looking within .

    luckily “Indian ‘women here speak what’s in their mind . Not sugar coated and on high horse !!! Exactly opposite of drama !!
     
  5. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    And already feeling sorry for the lady who is disabled as well and will be working for/with you !
     
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  6. AppuMom

    AppuMom Gold IL'ite

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    Indian serials..lol ..fact is 90 % of present generation is not watching those dramas..they are watching K drama instead...:)
    Your comment doesn't taste great OP...
     
  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    I love this :roflmao:
     
  8. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Looks like your job environment is something unique and we can not understand it . To be fair if you vented we would have listened but you posted a question. All of us put ourselves in that situation and tried to explain that it may come across wrong if HR got involved from our professional experience. We all had good intentions. You are one of the well respected member of this IL family . In future be specific in what kind of feedback you are expecting for your posts . It would help posters like me to either respond or walk away from your post .
     
  9. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    I was reading through the thread and I could see both sides of the debate held some truth - that is up until reply #24 when everything went south :)

    In the US all disability, gender etc issues is heavily protected by law. It is a big no no to bring it up even casually. I feel most of the replies telling you this was a big no no were US centric replies or by people who work for US based companies. They are correct as far as employment in US, UK and AU are concerned.

    However I understand you are working for some international aid agency similar to UN with many member countries, where either these rules don't apply or maybe not in the exact same form. It's easy to lose touch with labor and employment laws in other countries if the respondents have spent their entire working lives in a specific country. I feel this is the basic misunderstanding here. I'm in touch with some classmates in India, now in high ranking positions (or their husbands), and some practices they mention so casually raise my eyebrows all the time and definitely unacceptable in corporate US offices.. but looks like they are accepted practices in India.

    Given your specific query, if the person responds normally in WA but reacted to this one, then yeah definitely she was rude. Possible reasons: Is she from US, UK or AU and similarly misunderstood you? Or She may be herself in trouble with her HR for some problem so made a big show of showing she follows rules. Or she had a bad experience with the person in question but doesn't want to say so and cited the rules to cut you off.

    Whatever be the case, leave it. When we want to inquire about a new person, purchase or action, we ask everyone we know. Some reply others dont. Can't always expect 100% reply rate. So drop it and don’t continue with her. Best case scenario - she's a moody person venting her upset on another issue on you so be careful around her in future.
    Anyway it sounds like you have a lot on your plate healthwise etc so suggest you clear your mind and concentrate on those. Wish you a safe and quick recovery from your surgery.
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2022
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  10. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi, Many thanks for understanding.
    I am sorry for loosing my cool. I lost it after reading so much of unwanted replies to the simple question.
    Felt personally attacked, and especially when some of the posters kept on commenting based on assumptions. Anyways, I am sorry for that.

    I work for the United Nations (UN), and we do have very strict HR policy which is more or less similar to the ones in the EU. Not sure about US or other countries.

    I clearly understand that the matter could have gone wrong if my question was anything related to the staff member's disability or capacity. That's where the HR rules apply.
    But no one bothers about casual questions be it in person or in social media whether they know staff X. Y or Z. It is still considered casual communication and all of us do that often.

    I am sure, you and the posters above would have definitely chatted with your colleagues/ex colleagues at personal level.... like "hey, do you know Sam from X country"? or "hi do you know Irene is coming over".

    No one will run to HR with a screen shot of such messages, and no HR would take discipline action against the person who asked such simple questions. Following my 17 years of experience with United Nations, I am very sure about this.

    That's why I failed to understand the hype about this thread here.

    This is the heart of my question. Thanks for asking.
    Yes. This ex colleague and I worked together for sometimes. Shared a house together, and we are still in touch with each other through social media. She is an Ugandan lady.
    We crack joke, share personal stuff and even do some friendly gossips :)
    If not the case, I wouldn't have chatted with her regarding this new recruit.

    But her sarcastic way of replying and the unwanted advice made me wonder. It was rude. Period.
    But I failed to understand the supports behind such rudeness in the responses above.

    But yes, there could be so many reasons behind her rudeness. I understand that & I didn't bother much about it. In fact, I just abruptly stopped messaging her, and left the chat. That's all.

    But, given my mood swing (after the surgery) and all, I felt hurt and confused (obviously because of her advice i.e I should be told/trained). So, posted my thread here to ask for others opinion.

    To be frank.... I wasn't hurt or upset that much during the chat. But, after seeing the responses here, especially after a poster twisted this thread as if I had indulged an improper discussion in social media on disable staff with a colleague, everything went downhill.
    This is the power of public forum. I am sorry, I lost it.

    Anyways, thanks a lot for a convincing & understanding response at last.

     
    Last edited: May 23, 2022
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