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What do you think about your MIL/FIL??

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Meharnisa, Apr 21, 2010.

  1. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    I don't even want to call this person 'MIL' and definitely not use the word 'MY MIL'. I unfortunately bumped into this person in the name of marriage.

    She is a picture perfect angel who perfectly fits the angel's description above, but has her way to get things done. She is neither an angel nor a devil. She is a double headed python who spits honey through one tongue and spits venom through another. These types are even harder to prove. She and her husband have a son, oh rather call him an "investment property".

    How did she behave with her MIL? - She threw her MIL and FIL (with the support of her husband and son) out of her house. It's during the marriage of her son with me, she started talking to her ILs. She might be afraid that I would do the same to her. But I did not throw her out of the house, she herself got thrown out (all 3 of them left thinking I will beg them to come back, but I did not. Instead I got a protection order against their son and they could never come back). So you see, You reap what you sow!!!

    So these people nor neither angels nor devils. They are just double headed Pythons.

    Archana.
     
  2. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    Angel
    · Treating DIL as same like her daughter - NO
    · Will not interfere in son & DIL personal life - YES
    · Will not interfere in money issues - YES
    · Will share all the household chores - YES
    · Must not talk gossips about DIL & her family - DON'T KNOW
    · Encouraging DIL in every moves - NO

    Devil
    · Treating DIL as same like slave - NO
    · Will always interfere in son & DIL personal life & creating problems - NO
    · Will interfere in money issues. She needs whole money earned by DIL & son - NO
    · Will order & torture DIL to do all household chores - NO
    · Scolding DIL & her family - NO
    · Discouraging DIL for even small issues - NO

    Meharnisa, your post gave me a brand new perspective on my MIL... because when I answered myself for the above questions, I realised my MIL is more of an angel :shock:

    Although, the only reason she doesn't interfere in personal/money matters and not scold me is because my DH does not allow her to. She would love to though. :crazy

    Expecting her to treat me as a daughter and encouraging me is a bit too much to ask I think. :bonk

    We spent only a week together under the same roof since my marriage and she was very helpful in household chores. :thumbsup

    Overall, I would like to believe my MIL is a good person (when my SIL is not there to poison her mind). Sadly my wicked SIL poisons my ILs minds and creates distance between them (MIL/FIL) and us (DH/me). :rant
     
  3. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    Same goes for me with some differences. My BIL+SIL+(sometimes) cosis reign supreme for my MIL and in matters of functions and vacations or major decisions, MIL feels we both should bow down to their superior knowledge. When they are so aloof about other things, how come they want so much power in these decisions I never understood.
     
  4. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    My MIL is not at all bad.She definitely has her wings but the "Halo" light goes off sometimes.However I cannot categorize her.

    What I like-
    • She involves me in family matters and accepted me very nicely.
    • She talks to me during all phone calls and will not hang up without saying "Bye".
    • She does not force her opinions..gives some suggestions.
    • She sent me saree and all shringar items for my baby shower.
    • She sent me gifts and sweets for diwali.
    • She is not stingy.
    What I don't like-
    • Self appreciation.
    • Praising her daughter and sons to no end.
    • Spend without thinking.
    • Cunning enough to hide things from FIL to get her own way.
    • Very unorganized.Ends up doing more work and bothering everyone.
    • Did not take proper steps to get daughter married on time.
    But inspite all this I still like her. She is not Bad or Evil. She is good at heart and a mother who is suffering because some of her children are not settled in life.

    FL
     
  5. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    I would say my MIL is in between, not an angel nor a devil fully.
    Credit goes to DH who keeps her at bay.
     
  6. Meharnisa

    Meharnisa Silver IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    Sounds Great!
    Hurrah, I feel happy.
    I can see lots of Angels. Ladies ,thank god first to get such a angels.

    Angel MIL
    · Sujanaga
    · Swaran
    · Tinku (What shock treatment was given to your MIL by co-sister?Could you share with us)
    · Beautiful Soul
    · Sitta
    · Found Love (She does not giving trouble to you. She is doing mistake with your FIL & SIL).



    I feel really sad.

    We have take steps to change our MIL in Angel category ASAP. Pray to god daily to give nice heart to our MIL. Don’t worry ladies, definitely one day our MIL change (we have to take steps).We have to understand her heart .what she exactly needs from us to satisfy her.
    Devil MIL
    · Blessed
    · Deepd
    · Mithra
    · Mihisha-Grey shades
    · Kma-Grey shades


    Ladies , you must have multiple personality to handle these kinds of MIL.We pray to god to remove devil portions from her character. She will become full Angel.

    Mixed Category MIL
    · Archana-Neither an angel nor a devil
    · Rose girl- Neither an angel nor a devil
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2010
  7. Meharnisa

    Meharnisa Silver IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    Hey Yams,
    I am thinking for past 6 months. Why I am facing too much problems with my MIL. Its happening not only me ,75% of the ladies are facing same problem with their MIL. I am surveying the characteristics of MIL.

    · What are the ideas will help to change them?
    · What they exactly expect from DIL?
    · Why they need to interfere in money matters (even if we are paying enough money) & personal life of the couples?
    · Why they are destroying the privacy of the couples?

    Like too much questions are arising in my heart.
    First of all, every girls are leaving their parents after their marriage. They are coming with lots of dreams. They are believing that MIL & FIL is same like our parents. Without knowing anything about DH family. These poor ladies don’t know anything & they are starting their new life.
    What is the role of MIL?

    She must think that ,we got another daughter.
    Yes, Some MILS are very good a big salute for them.
    Most of the MILs are making the DIL life as hell .


    One Sad Story
    Yamini, we can adjust with them even they are making us unhappy. But we should be careful with them. 3 years ago , one of my child hood friend died. Do you know why?.Her MIL fired her by using the petrol. They admitted in ICU for 2 days.. She gave the verbal statement to the police & she died.Yamini, I cannot forget her. She was slim & fair complexion .She had beautiful long hair .She was very patient for everything. She knows all handicraft works. She was a bundle of talent & beauty. Now her MIL is in prison.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2010
  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
    And they crush you to death if you dont dance to their tunes :crazy!!! Once in their trap you either dance or get swallowed.. else keep them in a cool container & let their son visit nd feed them. Their favourite diet .. RATS
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2010
  9. kanthaeikon

    kanthaeikon Gold IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    Dear Mehar
    I do know about you and definitely won't mistake you dear. I am telling all DIL who have problems with their MIL please just ignore them. Ignorance will be a best remedy otherwise you will be spoiling your time and energy. Enjoy your beautiful life dear. You have lot more problems other than MIL am I correct dear?
    kantha
     
  10. Meharnisa

    Meharnisa Silver IL'ite

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    Re: MIL is an Angel or Devil?

    You are correct Kanthamma,
    If we try to ignore them.They are giving troubles in lots of ways.Thank you en Kanthakanniya.For your advice.Sure,i will ignore my MIL.
     

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