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What Do You Advice?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by BeautifulSmile, Aug 7, 2019.

  1. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    Continuing with the above and to answer your question, I say do not touch the bee hive and continue with your life as usual.
    Actually, better might be constructing another bee hive on another issue ;) :mask::fearscream:. Just kidding but seriously speaking since you have no issues like in laws not coming over and kids being ok with them, just tide over the period and continue just being yourself which seems to irk people more than you realise.
    also, limit your communication and do not offer any unsolicited comments or advice or complements too!
    Have to confess, haven't read the complete thread , so apologise if i have given unsolicited advice or overstepped with any words here ;)
     
  2. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    I would say don’t make any efforts to talk to her .don't bend backwards. Just let her be and you be aloof too.

    In the long run ,When she notices that her not talking to you does not bother you, she will stop behavior .

    Also stop analyzing every move of hers ... if she took over cooking on one puja day fine , go and use that time to spend with your kids , watch tv , read book , engage yourself . Analyzing and thinking negatively about every move mil Makes will make the situation worst ....


    Comparing her behavior and concern for her son and daughters to yourself will lead no where ... get out this negative thinking mode and invest time in finding ways to keep your occupied with kids or something productive or relaxing ....
     
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  3. BeautifulSmile

    BeautifulSmile Silver IL'ite

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    Might be its true that am analyzing since few days a lot. I know the reason for this, I am really getting irritated with all this unnecessary stuff going on at home. It feels so good to imagine - I cook everything and little help from her. Let them relax and enjoy the stay, let her son enjoy their presence. All happy happy, how nice isn't it? But why do they mess up everything for unknown stuff /past stuff. Anyways, I need to close my ears tight and control my brain not to think negative about her , not pamper or entertain her behavior either. Thanks ladies for getting me on track and pulling my out of negative thinking. I am ready to face her with usual smile on my face again. Its up to her, how she wants to spend her precious time with us.
     
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    vent your emotions as much as you can. Once it comes out you will definitely feel a bit relieved .

    Just venting to someone who can understand is better.
    Recent irritation/cat fight/conflict with MIL - I was so mad and took my mobile to complain to my husband . Immediately my mom called calling me to her house. I just went there and poured it out. What a relief I got !

    Had I complained to hubby it would have ended in an uncalled for argument b/w us.
    So use your girlfriends/sister/mom/fellow IL'tes to express how you feel. Nothing wrong.
     
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  5. BeautifulSmile

    BeautifulSmile Silver IL'ite

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    @Anusha2917 , only place I can vent is here and sometimes with my husband. This morning I was venting with him, and felt so bad for him as he has to hear negative things about his own mom. So for his sake I need to give him ONLY updates and keep my frustration out of him. I have IL'tes, I think I can make it. :cheer:
     
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