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What Are Your Expectations In Marriage? Is It Wrong To Have Expectations?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2019, Sep 24, 2019.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Thanks for acceding to my request. Very nice heart-felt response indeed.
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    @yesican
    Welcome & Thanks you clicked LIKE.
    2. Is it appreciation of “intoning command” of my sister @Amulet or my prayers to God?
    Regards.
     
  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sweety2019 @Amulet
    :hello:
    What are your expectations in marriage?

    Initially we expect to look at each other as if one is ready to swallow the other. You know what we expected from each other. We heard heart beats of each other. Or is it palpitation... then we found our expectations from moment to moment grown in strength like elevation in career of the other, the other should save monies, the other should have wisdom or common sense in abundance, keep the other with surprises not shocks, major goals discuss with other for out of box ideas, the other should acquire house, car and cooperation from each other to raise family, good natured kid one son one daughter......

    --What is your spouse's expectations in marriage?

    She expected that I should be docile to handle ladle in kitchen during her presence and absence away at her bank branch double shift and at times when our guests arrive thanks to my mom am already reasonably good in making palatable meal.
    She expected that I would be gentle, soft spoken, hush gushing whisper but i was exactly opposite. I was roaring like lion but in later years learn to remain calm and composed!

    --Have you both conveyed them to each other?

    Yes.

    If yes how did you convey?

    Sometimes verbal, some times stare, some times isolate ourselves to a corner or into another room or and a mere surprise hug

    --How did you both help satisfy each other's expectations?

    By declaring holiday at kitchen, visit unannounced to friend's home with some edible gifts
    • But unexpected goods arriving one after another on their own accord is always welcomed with open arms.
    • We surprised each other by arriving in unexpected places unannounced. It was mobile less era.
    • She saved all her salary in her bank FDs for me and my health, while I saved for her by investing in metals and her health.
    • She got me scooter Lambretta and tv loans from her bank and I had no headaches of any EMI.
    She expected that I should remember certain things and remind her in good time. OFLATE Anything related to expenses, I conveniently SUFFER SELECTIVE AMNESIA to remind her !

    Since i enjoyed driving company car or staff car, I never thought of buying a car. She is upset that we do not have one. Now with 24x7 UBER & OLA, she told me strictly to forget buying car despite huge unheard of discounts thanks to Basel VI

    It is jolly well wedlock till today with nothing more good to expect because it will continue to HAPPEN.

    And when they are not satisfied how did you move on from it?

    "They" here in query is not understood. Let me misunderstand it as in-laws.
    While my in laws were very happy whenever they had visited to spend their effort time and money with us while my wife's in laws were happy that she spend her time effort and her savings to buy them gifts and sight seeing.( I was always away on tour whever my parents visit us!)
    Or
    is it wrong to have expectations from the other person?
    There is absolutely nothing wrong for one to have reasonable (?) expectations. But one must develop mind to accept (acute) disappointments. But contentment will halt the growth and prosperity. Marriage Life without race and fury would become utterly a bore.

    The lesson is - if husband wants wife to treat him like a king, then husband should treat her like Queen!

    Amen.
    All these questions answered thinking as if am in witness (box) for prosecution!

    God help & bless me.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019
    Sweety2019 likes this.
  3. WannabValerie

    WannabValerie Silver IL'ite

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    I like your zeal!... the power of giving has a noble feel to it.

    Just be cautious on this:
    Give to worthy. If you give to leeches, all they do is bleed you dry.
     

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