What’s My Friend’s Hubby’s Problem?

Please please do NOT get offended on my comment.

how is it bothering you?.


If your friend is ok and satisfied with whatever she has, why are you looking for ideas to spoil the marriage. It is not really required by everyone to analyze every human lifestyle and fix that we feel is right.

that said, my Mom who is 70 still takes tuition for sometimes 2 - 3 kids in blore and get around 3k and says her sisters daughters who are 40s are just sitting and doing nothing. but she just vents to me . i tell not to worry or suggest anything.

 

Those are your friend's personal problems and she has been handling them. I think she definetly discussed with her husband about his attitude and etc. We don't know what her husband has been going through. So, Please calm down and if possible don't ask too many questions about her too personal unless she tells you or seeks your help. Sorry OP if I offended you with my post.

 

Your concerns are valid if he deliberately quit his job and became dependent, but that's not the case. He lost his job, and losing job after 40 is very hard for a person, not to mention the increasing gap. Some men might even commit suicide because of this sick society which shames men in such a situation. Now, at 50, it must be so difficult to get back into career..and excessive downward mobility cannot be handled by most people.
Atleast they are happy with each other, and their arrangement, that's what matters.Why put unneccessary pressure and destroy the peace of mind?Is it compulsory for a man to earn money always or he has no value? That too, he is 50 yrs now so it's ok- he has provided for her for a long time till 40, and now some bad situation happened with him. Let them handle in their own way.

Why should he do some small job just to answer the society? Even then, they might say that the wife is earning more. As you said , he cooks when required, and if that is important, your friend will ask him to take up the cooking completely. But it seems they are fine with the current arrangement.

It is such a sensitive situation for a man at that age- and when you told about the driving, I realised how depressed he is, and how he has lost his confidence.Maybe your friend has reasons to cook for him, and make hi feel respected and cared for, and trying to build his confidence .She is handling her family in the best possible way.
See, this is not a case, where a man is intentionally exploiting his wife.They are going through a grave situation(due to this sick society), and they are supporting each other and they are happy, that is all that matters.

There are plenty of housewives, who are also not cooking, not earning but still they are valuable to their husbands , as a person in herself, as a life partner, as an emotional support. Marriage is not just some division of tasks, like breadwinner vs homemaker, it is a family with it's own nuances, and they should not have to change their life just to impress the society.